The People with Whom We Surround Ourselves

A quote that my friend sent me

The above reads:

The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great.

We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. [emphasis mine]

I was talking about this with the person who sent this to me. At the time we were discussing how group dynamics work and how someone who is struggling to gain their footing in life can be tripped up by their circle of friends. And it’s true.

For example, if a person is trying to get clean and trying to be a better person, their drug friends (and others) will work against that person’s effort. And pretty soon that person is right back to where they were before – going nowhere. Are your friends encouraging you to do better? Are they helping buoy you when you’re drowning? Are they holding your hand while you’re recovering and trying to get out of that pit of despair?

Or are they just going to bring you down. Some friends don’t want anyone in their circle to be better. They prefer to drag their friend down. Just like it says above:

The people with whom you surround yourself will either lift you above the shit or drag you down into it. Every time. How are they helping you navigate life and reach your goals?

When you surround yourself with good people then you begin to think like them. You begin to see a future. You begin to make plans and actually see them to fruition. When you have people helping you – not hindering – then there really is only yourself standing in the way. You have the option of being a better version of yourself. Or not.

Anyway, I like that quote above. I’m going to memorize it, I think. It’s suiting for this situation1. I want to be surrounded by people who will lift me up as I struggle to find myself. I want to be surrounded by people who say to me “JJ, you’re better than this, man”. Because I know I’m capable, but my brain always tells me I’m not2.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

  1. For myself and others. Like the person living on my blog. []
  2. My brain is a liar. []
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