Aloha!

Shock, shock, surprise, surprise– I’m alive. Didja miss me?1

I’ve been a little occupied with real life this last month or so as some of you know. This year was pretty serious, but any long-time readers know that there will be long(ish) periods of time when I just kind of drop off the face of the interwebs. After a while I always get sucked back in and am forced to blog again. This is why, dear readers, I haven’t killed Fab Jinxed. What’s the point? I’d just start a new blog. Pfft. Might as well just let this one sleep until I get interested enough to start posting again. </p

As some of you know, I loathe PUMAs. They smell of cabbage and make my eyeball twitch. I am, sadly, highly allergic to those 50 or so sad, sad creatures. During the election season, these lovely mavens of screeching rage were losing their minds because OMGHILLARYLOST!! After Obama won, they continued with the screeching and hair pulling. Now they’re in the midst of yet another battle: The Weblog Awards.

One of their own, called “The Confluence” (must use the Google, people), was in the running for “Best Liberal Blog” (the only thing “liberal” about this blog was that it had a liberal amount of OMGHILLARYLOST Syndrome and aforementioned screeching). Then Wonkette noticed that they were nominated against The Confluence. Wonkette sent out a short message to their readers that they wanted to beat a PUMA blog. Hilarity has since ensued.

The PUMAs have endorsed a winger blog called “Nice Deb” against one of my favorite small blogs, Rumproast. So, Wonkette endorsed Rumproast and any other blog that was up against a PUMA-endorsed blog. Considering Wonkette’s traffic, it was no wonder that all blogs they endorsed for the awards quickly took the lead. Now our dear Cabbage-eating kitties are crying foul and claiming that both Wonkette and Rumproast are using super-secret-uber-computer code to ruin the fun for them. Everyone with me now: Awwww.

Also, the comments at both Wonkette and Rumproast re: the snarling Cooters are quite hilarious for a while. Then they’re only funny if the stink of Cabbage-flavored panties makes your hair shrivel against your scalp and your toes twist into pretzel shapes. So, I don’t suggest you venture too far (unless, like me, you can’t look away at the amazing stupidity that are the PUMA collective). Oh! And vote for Rumproast, ~synthesis~ and anyone but the Flatulence — Just to keep their panties bunched up and all that jazz.

Ok, people, that is all.

P.S.

Go with caution.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

More Fun with PUMAs

Guess what! Give up? Well, Francine (aka SouthJerseyPUMA) wrote me another email. I guess she figured she’d shut her caps off this time.

Now this email is a reply to a subscription to “The Early Bird is Flippin’ Tired“. Francine (aka Southwaytoostupid) checked the box to subscribe. That’s important and you’ll see why. She then replied to the new email announcement.

Take note that Francine (aka Southdumbasarock) has taken off her caps lock and forgotten how to use it properly. Except for the top-row keys. Woo-hoo! You’re getting close, Francine, keep practicing!

Here’s that reply:

whats wrong jenny? spam? hahaa! who’s a joke? 4%, 18% popular! wow! you are a big time blogger! what a loser! you cant take a good fight? was my post and research on the dual citizenship too much for a lil girl to handle?

No longer an “it”, Francine whines that I scrubbed her posts. Here’s her last comment on the above referenced post. Francine is so “low-information” that she still thinks that her little trick worked.

The research? Talking points from her leader’s blog. She calls into question Obama’s citizenship- even though members of her cult agree that he’s eligible. I guess she didn’t get that “prowl” that day. Who’s laughing? Oh, yes! We are! Poor, Francine, put that vodka down, woman, and get some fresh air.

lmao!! scrubbed my post but left yours! can’t wait for the big bomb to come that will blow obozo out of the polls!! even rev. wright is back and he is selling shit on your hero!! guess payback’s are gonna be a bitch for the messiah! still laughing at your pathetic dumb koolaide ass!!!

No doubt the “big bomb” will be Michelle’s whitey tape. This tells me that Francine spends a lot of time at No 25¢1 and Texas Tea (or whatever). She believes that I’m somehow worried about Rev. Wright. Why should I be? All I have to do is point to her as a supporter of McCain and people will fly to the Dem side of the ticket in droves.

Poor Francine. Still sore after all these months. We may see mass head implosions in November. Keep your eye on the Southern sky.

lose the email… you will be spam as well here!

have a pain filled day from your Fibromyalgia! you deserve it!

Francine doesn’t know how to unsubscribe. And then goes on to prove that she does know how to use the caps key properly by capitalizing “Fibromyalgia”. She doesn’t understand that I would rather be in pain that be unintelligent, so her little “barb” was a waste of precious “prowl” time. My pain can get better- her stupidity will be a blight on humanity for all eternity.

P.S.

I forgot to add:

Francine wrote that email from her personal email account. So I did get her last name as well as her first. She doesn’t understand the value of an anonymous email account when sending fucktarded emails. Perhaps someone in her cult will help her out with that.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Fun with PUMAs

SouthJersyIMSOSTUPID sent me an email via my contact form. Seems she (he?) was busy editing her (his) own comments that she(he) had left here yesterday. And she (he) took screencaps to prove that she’d left comments here and I was censoring her (him). What SJISS doesn’t realize that when folks try that shit with me, I just fix it the way it was. Well, except for this one. I did warn her (him). They should read my comment policy.

Anyway, for the email. Apologies in advance for the all-caps. Dumbass doesn’t know Intertoobs etiquette, but I’m posting this in all it’s glory.1

SO I AM SPAM? HAHA!! THATS FUNNY! YOU ERASED MY COMMENTS? WHY? CAN’T TAKE A GOOD FIGHT? CAN’T LEAVE THE QUESTIONABLE CITIZENSHIP OF YOUR MESSIAH?

Note: This is where it questions the citizenship of Obama- because he conned us ALL and is really a Muslim-Christian Islamofascist Indonesian… Or something.

Also it asks if I can’t take a good fight. I guess if it came with one (a good fight) I’d be able to judge. But talking points straight from a “PUMA prowl” aren’t a good fight. It’s like listening to that crazy lady at the bus stop- the one that keeps saying “The end is neigh!” and asking if you’ve accepted Jesus in your heart. It’s better just to walk away.

OHH AND I SEE YOU ARE SO POPULAR!! LMAO!! 4%!!!

Note: This is where it looks at the Post Popularity plugin percentage and assumes that it applies to the total of the Intertoobs. It isn’t bright enough to know that it’s the popularity of the posts in comparison with my other posts. Shhh, don’t tell it. We don’t want to cause anyone’s head to implode with too much information. Better to let it think it’s found something brilliant with which to take me down.

PUMA’S ARE GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE JENNY! LIKE IT OR NOT!!!

Note: This is where it tries to convince itself and me that they are still relevant outside of their own little bubble. It doesn’t realize that for me (and other people like me) they’re no better than rightwing nut jobs and/or 911 Conspiracy Theorists or Fred Phelps Merry Band of Bigots.

SO WHO ARE YOUR READERS? FAMILY AND FRIENDS? THAT’S ABOUT ALL IT ADDS UP TO!!! I WILL BE SURE TO LET PUMA’S KNOW HOW YOU CAN’T PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT! AND YOU CENSOR ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE!

Note: This is where it tries to demean me by questioning my “popularity”. It doesn’t realize that hanging your hopes and dreams on someone else’s blog instead of having the ability to keep your own is more demeaning. It also fails to realize that I’m not desperately trying to get anyone to look at me. LOOK AT ME! I MATTER! PLEASE LOOK AT ME.

HOPE MY CAP’S PISSED YOU OFF!

SEE YA LOSER!!

McCAIN/PALIN 2008!!!!!!!!

Note: It tries once more to get under my skin, but sadly fails. It’s a little sad in it’s attempts to make itself felt. Some day, when it has grown bigger and has more Intertoobs experience, it will realize that it’s attempts at biting humor failed miserably. It will see that all it did was give me fodder for a post so that myself and my two readers can laugh hysterically together.

Sadly, that was the end of the message.

I do have a message for it though:

You are nothing to me but another group of rightwing fanatics who are at war with me and my family. You deserve nothing but derision and scorn from me and will receive nothing more. I will take nothing you say seriously and will use everything like the above as examples of why PUMAs are irrelevant and, well, insane. If you want to make your mark on the world outside of your own bubble, perhaps you should appoint a new ambassador- one with grammar skills and the ability to follow basic Internet etiquette.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.