Things I have Learned From Idiot Men

I create a lot of problems for myself. I will be the first one to admit it. I will look down at my foot and shoot that fucker right off. I am too impulsive.

I did another stupid thing last weekend. I maybe will talk about this stupid thing when I can figure how out to tell the story1, but that’s not today. I want to talk about something I learned from my experiences with my craptastic exes. You know, the ones I allowed myself to become emotionally invested in. The ones that mattered.
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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

  1. I’ve written it and deleted it about 10 times. []

I’m Sick of Pretending

I’d like to make a confession.

I am terrified right now. I know what I need to do to go forward. I know what’s required to survive. I used to be so resilient. I’d bounce back from anything the fates threw at me.

But there’s been too much bouncing. Too many times I’ve had to find the pieces of my shattered life and putting them back together.

There has been too much goddamned loss. There ate too many scars. There are too many pieces of me cut off. This last time was too much. I just knew deep in my soul that he lives me. But he didn’t. I was wrong again. And I broke my own heart.

Moving won’t bring any if what I’ve lost back. I will always be missing pieces. I will always have this hole in my middle. I’ve run before. Then I came back and lost even more. I’ve hurt myself beyond measure. The fates have taken my confidence. They’ve left me dangling in the wind. I’m not getting stronger here. I’m not finding what I’ve never had. I had it. And then it was gone. Poof!

I have a story to tell and it’s a long one, folks. I hope you read to the end, but I think you already know the end.

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Luckily for Me

I’ll finally be in Georgia this Friday. Lil’lady and I are flying down. I’m so excited to meet my friend and, to be honest, going on a plane. I’ve never been on an airplane before so this is a super treat for me. Lil’lady is going to help me navigate the fun as she’s flown a bunch of times with Millie. She’s actually more worried about meeting Lars’s kids. They’re older than her, but his youngest isn’t that much older. Plus she’s happy as a lark that she won’t be the only kid there with a bunch of drunk Twitter weirdos.

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.