My brain has been really busy today. And I’m going just a little bit crazy. See, I’ve found a service that I can offer to my new employer, but I’m not sure how to go about bringing it up to them.
I’ve mentioned that my new company’s website is, to be polite, crappy. And if you search for it by keyword phrase, it’s not on the first 13 pages of Google1. I stopped looking after that. I did this search because during my first day of training, my boss said “Don’t encourage anyone to Google us. If they do they’ll see our competitors.” I wanted to know more. Why aren’t they confident that they’ll be found via search? Well, dur, because they can’t be found that way.
I’m no SEO expert, of course, because I try to stay on the fringes of that particular community. But in all honesty, it fascinates me. I’ve been a little bit ashamed of this secret indulgence for obvious reasons. I don’t like spammers. Spammers out number honest SEOers about 50 to 1. This is just the way it is. However, there is a legitimate need for the good ones. Not that I ever thought I’d put anything like that to use in my life. Hello! Who the hell am I? I just like the idea of the stats and conversions and all the little intricacies involved in trying to get on a higher page in the big G. I like learning about it. And so I read the blogs that talk about it and all the little articles that make the waves. If you’ve read me at all in the last few years, you’ve probably figured this out. Why else would I really care that the content mills got slapped by Google?
Anyway, I asked my boss if they knew anything about SEO. She says they looked into it but it’s too expensive. I said it’s not that expensive to implement, but she brushed me off and went about what it was that she was doing. That’s when I decided to do my little investigation. I learned that the website has been online since 2004 and still has a PR 0. I’ve also learned that there were 135,000 local2 searches for their keyword last month. Upon further investigation I’ve seen that none of the organizations that they’re partnered with have linked to their site directly and they have a blog– but it’s located on Blogger.
I did a link search and saw that there are only 2 links to their site. They have neither a robot.txt or a sitemap. Most of their relevant information is contained in a auto-start video. However, their competitor has tons of content on their site. Their potential clients are a couple of clicks away from finding information that’s relevant to their inquiries. As I was doing all this investigation, my brain was going a mile a minute. They need someone to create a site similar to their competitor’s3 and they need to get their site found in Google.
If you’re going to invest in a service for your company, but you’re unsure of who to go to, what are you going to do? Research. You’re going to ask for referrals and you’re going to get on Google. If half the people you know use one service and the other half use another, but your search indicates that a third company is way cheaper, what are you going to do? You’re going to compare. And if you’re searching in Google, then you’re going to compare a bunch of different companies. And if you don’t know anything about the ins and outs of this particular service4, you’re not going to call the company’s for the info. Why? Because as a business own, you know they’re going to hem and haw, trying to sell you something. You want to see the facts and be able to sort through the bullshit.
That’s where the business website comes in. Assuming that people in the 21st century aren’t going to use the Internet to look into the business is just, well, naive. Right? I get this bright fucking idea. I mean, my brain just blows up from it. They need help getting their site found. They hired me as entry level sales. I can help their site get found. They don’t have to worry about paying some other SEO expert some gods-awful amount of money to help them. They’ve already got someone in house. This would be extra super perfect for me!
Now, when I brought this up to my boss initially, she didn’t seem impressed. But then she’s not very knowledgeable about web related stuff. But my boss is not the president of the company. I want to pitch this idea to him and to his IT guy and marketing gal. I want to convince them that they really need me to do this for them. But I don’t know how to do this. I mean, yes, I know to tell him everything I’ve already written here. That’s obvious. I want, though, to be able to get this idea to them without stepping on her toes.
So, what advice can you offer me? Should I wait? Should I sell this to her first and hope that she’s receptive to it? Should I go to the guy who did the website initially5? Should I go to the marketing girl? I want to do this in such a way that I don’t look someone who’s trying to impose, but someone who can do something for them that they need done. How do I go about this?
By the way, since I’m going to ask this question of people that don’t usually read this site: the new company I’m working for has a total of 17 employees and is family owned. It’s 7 years old and is doing relatively well without the site performance. I want to convince them that they’ll do so much better with a good site.
- Who looks that deeply for a site unless they want to find out where the site ranks? Exactly. [↩]
- U.S. based [↩]
- Maybe not so busy, but at least with a similar amount of information. [↩]
- I’ve talked to people about my company and some of them thought they had to get it through their bank. They just didn’t know. [↩]
- He’s really nice, but I don’t think he’s a website kind of person. He develops their software and takes care of their hardware. [↩]
And since I’m married to my husband, they’ll not not like his name either. I’d never get approved to run credit cards. Just so ya know.
Heave Ho!
So, I mentioned in a comment that I might have poked out my eyeball because of my new job. I have good news. Not only am I not blind, but my new boss has declared me “not a good fit for our company”. Woo hoo!
I got this news today, after a long night of “fuck, I have to go to work in the morning” insomnia. I think I slept a whole 2 hours. Anyway, I get up, get ready, dread my journey to the office and then BAM! Someone answered my prayers and I am let go.
Now, I realize that I’m supposed to be upset because I’m now unemployed. And I was so excited about this job. But, nope. I was happy. I could’ve danced on my way out the door. I didn’t, but I could’ve.
I don’t know for sure why I don’t fit with the company. I try not to cause a ruckus and pretty much hide in my cubby hole. I gave up that crazy ass thought that I could actually help the company, because of what my friend told me. I did spend a lot of time putting in– as of right now– 26 applications and resumes. I didn’t make a nuisance of myself, though. I went into that crap-ass place with a smile every morning, did the obnoxious sing-song “Goood morning, everyone!” and pretended I gave a flying fuck about the flaming shit I was going to pitch at unsuspecting business owners. I thought I was doing a good job with my acting. Ya know?
I have a theory that someone from one of the businesses to which I replied probably called the boss lady and asked her about me. It was probably me kind of letting slip that I had gone over to the unemployment office, though. You see, the boss lady kind of instills an overly competitive atmosphere in that place, so everyone else has “Me against the office”1 mentality. That’s the kind of attitude that leads to back-stabbing behavior. Turn the help against each other and they will tell on each other in a heart beat. This is a well-known fact, you see. Not necessarily the best way to manage employees, but bosses don’t care as long as they don’t have to babysit. Who cares if everyone is miserable?
Where was I? So, here’s a clue on how to get fired: Tell the biggest ass-kisser in the place that you went somewhere and put in a resumé somewhere else. It’ll probably help to have a boss that is an under-handed megalomaniac, too. Of course, if you have a normal boss who gives a fuck about retention, you’re probably not out throwing your resumé at every job opening you see. You tell the ass-kissing backstabber that you stopped by the employment office on your lunch and the very next day you’ll discover that you’re not a good fit for that company. Woo hoo! Like magic, baby, like magic.
I got the news this morning and spent the rest of my day putting in resumés and applications. My plan was originally to go every day on my lunch hour and put in a new one, but I did them all today instead. I did miss an awesome opportunity because I couldn’t get out yesterday. The guy said he liked me though and he’ll keep me in mind if he needs someone in the future. That’s pretty nice2. I’m staying away from anything that has anything to do with sales right now. I just don’t trust those people. No offense to the salespeople among us. I just have a bad taste in my mouth right now. That freaking boss lady really pulled the wool over my eyes– and I should’ve known better. But I’m a dummy and the freaking psycho made me think I was getting a way better deal than I really was. Pffft. That was totally my fault.
I went over to talk to the person I’d spoken with about this the other day. She said that the boss lady hates anyone who asks questions or wants more information. She said the boss lady wants people to just say what she tells them to say and if they go off script she makes their lives miserable. I told her about my bout of insomnia last night and she totally related. She said that after a while of working there no one would speak to her and that every day she went in she felt like they were out to get her. When she finally turned in her 2 week notice they told her not to even bother coming back. I was even more relieved to be gone. She did warn me to look really close at my paycheck because boss lady will likely short me. I don’t even care. You know what? It’ll be totally worth it to be out of there. It’s no wonder they can’t get anyone else to come work for them. Shit, if I’d known it was like that before I went for my interview I’d not have wasted anyone’s time. Meh.
So endeth my new job drama. I’m going to stick with what I know, I think. And do my online stuff on the side. I’m better suited for customer service and whatnot. Office politics and lying and backstabbing just isn’t for me. There’s a certain honor code among the low-lives that I’m used to working with that is just better than that nonsense. Could have been culture shock, I think, but I’m glad to be back among the uncouth, dirty masses.
By the way, I was so going to end this another way, but guess who got distracted? Yay me! I can’t wait to get back to my whiny, bitchy self. Yanno?