So, I’m dating again. Did I mention that? No, because I’m too busy bringing more shit into my life. Well, let’s talk good stuff.
I met this guy from Cleveland. He’s my age and has a job, a car, and his own place. He’s freaking adorable. We talk every morning now and are close to getting to the final step. This is where my anxiety kicks in. Is he going to like me when he sees me? I don’t know why I think this because I’m not catfishing anyone. But I do enjoy talking to this guy and he’s making such a good effort to woo me.
Then there’s this other guy. He lives about 20 minutes away. He sent me some pictures this morning and his house is amazing. His body is also amazing. Not going to lie. I mean, generally I laugh at dick pics, but his came at the most opportune time. I was so pissed and then BING. There it was. Aww, thanks, fucktard. It looks like a penis – as they all do – and it looks like he likes to use it. Good for him. I know that he’s the one who won’t call after we get naked.
And he is the one I’m going to spend time with this weekend. I can tell he’s not really interested in anything long-term. So he’ll be doing his guy thing and then will ghost. That’s perfectly fine with me. I think that’s what I need right now. Just a rough-and-tumble and then “BYE!” I’m good with that. He’s a very pretty man and, apparently, has a high sex drive. That works for my purposes this weekend. Shit, I might like him so much that I’ll stop talking to the other.
Hahaha! No, I absolutely will not. Fuck monogamy. I tried it. I don’t like it. I know the risks and I know how to be safe-ish1. I have not been a believer in monogamy since I was a teenager. I think everyone cheats in some way and that we’re not designed as animals to practice monogamy. Easy peasy. I think if it works for people then good for them. But it has never been something that works for me. I always end up on the wrong side of a fucked up situation when I try it. When I wasn’t monogamous – and my men knew about each other2 – I was much happier. I didn’t give a shit if Jay showed up one night, because I could call Jason. And I refused to let myself get attached to my secondarys3. Actually, back in the 90s I refused to get attached to anyone. If I started to feel a certain way about a dude I put him to the side. I wasn’t having that.
Monogamy is for wolves and birds. And probably some kind of marine animal of some sort. It’s not for humans. It’s not for me. I waste time on that shit. Being careful not to flirt, refusing otherwise fine engagements because he might get mad, changing my behavior so he is comfortable – all the while the shady motherfucker has his penis in half the town. I don’t like that. I don’t like that my partner would risk my health and not tell me. If I know that my dude is seeing someone else then that mofo is wrapped up when he’s spending time with me. I want to be safe. I’ve never had an STD and I don’t really want one. I’ve heard they kind of suck. Anyway, that’s the way I prefer it. I don’t want to be the one who gets shit on anymore. I’m sick of it.
So, I have a thing tonight, a date tomorrow4 and a date on Sunday. Not with the same guy. This would be J, M and R5. I think there’s another J in there but I haven’t talked to him all week, so he might have to wait until next weekend.
I know I should be writing, but fuck it. Let’s have some fun.
I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.