Today was a hard day. But it was also an awesome day. My emotions were all over the place. Holy shitballs.
First, let’s celebrate, shall we?
My friend, Lars, and his wife, Beth, have invited Lil’lady and I down to their home in Georgia. I want to tell the world how thankful I am to know them. I met Lars first – on Twitter, of course. I don’t remember how. I used to be so active and I’ve met so many wonderful people on that platform. I saw a meme that read “On Twitter you learn to love people you’ve never met. On Facebook you learn to hate everyone you used to love.” Or something to that effect. It’s true though. These beautiful people reached out to me and offered their home to us for nothing. They expect nothing but my amazing company1. And they are helping me get there. I will admit that I am in tears right now. We finalized the plans today.
I will be visiting them at the end of the month. And… And… I’LL BE FLYING. Oh. My. Gods. I have never been on an airplane before. This will be the first time. And they are doing this for us. Because they’re fucking angels, that’s why. Because they are an answer to a prayer. I don’t care what anyone say. I will be forever in their debt. And I will be forever grateful.
I’m so excited to see them. We’re going to go on The Walking Dead tour in Senoia first. Then we’re probably going to get drunk. Or not. Who knows? We’re taking it as it comes. All I care to see is them because, honestly, that’s the most exciting part of the trip for me. I’m such a dark cloud on a sunny day sometimes, but not right now. I’m thrilled to be going. Over the moon. I can’t wait.
I’m going to do something I rarely do in public. I’m going to count my blessings:
- I have a roof over my head.
- I have a job.
- I have a car.
- I have a sister who loves me2.
- I have two amazing and beautiful daughters. I’m not sure how they got to be so wonderful, but I’m sure I had something to do with it. They are truly treasures.
- I have the most beautiful grandchildren. They’re all smart, gorgeous and healthy.
- I like my son-in-law too.
- I have friends like Lars and Beth cheering me on.
- I have my blog and my words.
- I have my health. Fibromyalgia sucks big ol’ donkey balls, but it’s not physically damaging. It won’t kill me.
- I have this crazy little dog that loves me more than anything.
I’m grateful for each thing in that list. When I feel like I have no one and I’m a complete failure I think of this list. I still feel like a complete failure, but for different reasons. The people on that list make me feel loved. Everything else makes me feel lucky.
And that’s that for the good stuff. That’s what I want to celebrate.
Oh! And another thing. I rescinded my acceptance of his grandmother’s invitation to church. I explained to her why and apologized3. I apologized for any offense. Then she does something completely unexpected – she rejected my rejection. Do you know what this beautiful, sweet lady said to me after all of that?
“I still expect to see you on Sunday.”
Maybe she’s right about that god thing after all.