Floating Boobies

Most of the people I follow on Twitter are progressive or liberal.  I like reading their various views on things and following their links. Mostly. Today a lot of them were pissing me off. I was in a foul mood anyway, so it didn’t take much to set me off. And I have no idea why I expected more from a group of people that laugh hysterically at Rush Limbaugh’s man-boobs (though he does so deserve to be laughed at for every single thing about him).

Carrie Prejean is Miss California. She’s the winner of a fucking beauty pageant that has made public statements against gay marriage. Whoo-di-fucking-do, right? There are enough intelligent women and men in this country to ably counter anything this chick might have to say. And generally she would be ignored anyway just because she’s a part of that “beauty pageant” subculture, which I can’t stand. I know I was ignoring her. And happily. There are thousands of people, who are more powerful and have more influence, that are against same-sex marriage and, I thought, those were the people the movement for same-sex marriage should be fighting against. Apparently, I missed the boat on how utterly important this woman is. Or, better yet, how shameful she because she 1) got breast implants and 2) she was photographed topless.

I have a lot of strong opinions on society valuing women’s bodies more than their intellect and talent. Who the fuck cares if you look good in a string bikini if you don’t know jack shit about what’s going on in the world around you? If you can’t manage your own finances, who the fuck cares if your nails are perfectly done? So, here’s a beauty contestant that has political views and has agreed to be a spokesperson for a group supporting those same views. That should be a relief to people who hate the beauty pageant culture for it’s objectification and dumbing down of the contestants. But no. Apparently she should have kept her mouth shut and just sat pretty.

This is where I’m parting ways with some of my lefty compatriots. Mock her for her beliefs, yes. We do that with everyone to a certain extent. Laugh at the stupid shit that may come out of her mouth1. But what’s the point of going on and on and on about her boobs?

She had a boob job before the competition. Ohmyfuckinggod! Can you believe that shit? Here’s a young woman who, for whatever fucked up reason, chose to enter a contest where she would be judged not on her intellect, talent or character, but on her looks, who paid money to improve those looks. According to societal standards, of course. The world of pageantry says that flawless skin, slim figures, and firm breasts are beautiful. Those that enter that world want to conform to those standards. Getting a boob job did that for this woman. It gave her an extra edge in that competition. That was the goal. Why is this shocking? Why isn’t the fact that she felt she needed a boob job being discussed instead of her fake “floating” titties? Why isn’t the fact that those new boobs probably won her more points than anything else in that competition being discussed?

I’ll ignore the chatter about her baring her breasts. I can actually see the hypocrisy in that as she’s supposed to me all moral and upstanding (and now I’m ignoring the question of why does women covering their breasts equal moral). She worked hard for that body and she wants to show it off, but she doesn’t want people that have lived together and loved each other for 50 years to be married. Yes, there’s hypocrisy there. That should most definitely be called out.

I won’t take Ms. Prejean seriously because she doesn’t take herself seriously and she’s a hypocrite. But it’s not because she had a boob job. If I dismissed every woman who’s ever done something to “improve” her looks I’d miss out on a lot of wonderful people, including:

  1. Any woman who has ever put on makeup because “her eyes are so much prettier that way”
  2. Any woman who has ever run on a treadmill in effort to fit into those jeans (as opposed to staying fit and healthy)
  3. Any woman who has “washed that gray right out of” her hair
  4. Any woman who has ever used wrinkle “reducing” cream
  5. Any woman who has ever worn control-top panty hose
  6. Any woman who has ever added spritz to her hair in order to “control the frizz”
  7. Any woman who has ever had her teeth straightened and/or whitened
  8. Any woman who has ever spent 5 minutes in a tanning bed (or laying out on the beach)

Of course, that’s only a partial list. As women, we are conditioned at a young age to do certain things to be pretty in our society. And most people don’t think ill of women doing that. In fact, if a woman in the public eye dares to go out without her hair done and makeup perfect she’s ridiculed. We do it because it’s expected of us. The only people who should be able to ridicule a woman’s physical “enhancements” are those that are perfectly happy with their physical appearance and don’t engage in any of the above actions2. Going on about a boob job is something I expect from asshole motherfuckers who can’t piece a coherent thought together to save their lives. You know the ones: “A woman’s place is in the home.” I most certainly don’t expect to see it coming from people who are supposed to be more politically aware and sensitive.

The very nature of her anti same-sex marriage stance is repulsive. Argue that. But stop arguing that her argument is invalid because she got fucking implants. That kind of diminishment is insulting to all women. Progressives and liberals should be the last people to be using the way a woman looks to bury her argument—whether it’s good or no.


I know these issues are regularly discussed on the rad fem sites. I was just irritated that this meme was going on for so long in my Twitter stream and even the self-professed feminists there weren’t calling it out. I’m glad, though, that since my temper tantrum it seems to have died down.

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  1. I don’t listen to her as I was trying not to pay attention to her. []
  2. Including those not listed. []

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

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