First, I want to discuss River Song. The last we saw of her she was helping the Doctor deal with the loss of Amy and Rory. The Doctor went through his mourning period parked on a cloud in Victorian England with a troupe of characters keeping an eye on him. He wasn’t too interested in the world, until he met Clara. And he became more animated. He’d found a cause. But that cause seemed to make him for River (and Amy and Rory). But he loved River, so how could she just disappear?

Well, let’s go back to when David Tennant was still the Doctor and Catherine Tate played his fiery companion “Donna Noble”. In The Silence in the Library and The Forest of the Dead, River showed up as an archaeologist- exploring the biggest library in the universe to find out what happened to the people that were in it. I’m not going to go on about that whole episode. But River recognized the Doctor right away– he was a different, younger version of her Doctor. We learn this through their conversations. She tells the Doctor his name so that he will trust her. She tells them the story of the last time she’d seen his future self and what they’d done together. Then she must sacrifice herself to save him. She becomes a “ghost” on her communication device. These devices were used to hold part of a person’s conscience after death so they would be able to say goodbye. The Doctor “saves” River by connecting her comm to the data core and “saving” her into the biggest computer in the universe. And there she’d stay.

We got to know and love River Song through her adventures with 11. She was a time traveler too, but her personal timeline was going the opposite direction of the Doctor’s. His life was continuing and she was on her way to the end of her life. They met at the wrong points in time and had to coordinate their logs of their travels to be sure into which part of each life they’d landed. At one point, 11 kisses River goodbye in her prison cell. She’d kissed him many times. That was his first kiss. It was sad for her to realize that.

Though that wasn’t the last time River traveled with the Doctor, she was getting closer and closer to when she’d have to go to the Library. She was sad because her Doctor wasn’t there to say goodbye. She died and 10 integrated her into the system.

After River disappeared at the end of “Angels Take Manhattan”, many folks had speculated that she’d gone on to the library. We knew her end and how she got there¹. We got our closure with this episode. River’s ghost (the conscience saved on the data core) was able to reach out. She was able to watch her doctor and his new companion. She was finally able to speak to him again and he was finally able to see her. He wanted to know why she was there because she’s only just an echo, even in CAL she’s an echo. She said some people stay around waiting for goodbye. He told her it was too painful— for him. She needed a goodbye from him. He kissed her and told her he’d see her around. She told him “spoilers” and then she faded with “Goodbye Sweetie”. That was River Song’s ending. She, and we, got closure with that kiss and that goodbye.

That was my favorite part of that episode. A lot of folks will probably be mad that River has gone, but it was a perfect ending– after we’d already seen her death in “Forest of the Dead”.

I loved this episode and have more thoughts. I’ll save them for later.

1. We didn’t find out how she ended up with the Doctor’s sonic though

So, what happened? Well, my friend deleted his Twitter account. Apparently, this chick doesn’t like said friend so popped into my mentions to ask why. I told her it was none of her business and she flipped her fucking lid. So, being the mature person I am, I went ahead and told her to fuck off. That was on Wednesday, April 24th. Then it was over and I forgot about her because that’s what I do. But on Saturday, April 27th, I woke up to my timeline filled up² with her gibberish. Not only does this chick lose her ever-loving mind two days late, but she lost every vowel on her keyboard! Today is Saturday, May 5th– a full week and a half later– and this chick is still whine-tweeting me³– about something which does not in any way concern her.

This is tragic, really. How miserable must she be to continuously tweet me to get my attention? Apparently, she’s going to show me and I’m going to get it. She’s just biding her time and when she’s good and ready she’s going to drop the hammer on me. Her friend did come in and try to put me in my place a few days ago, but gave up and asked my friend to leave the drama nut alone. Um, well, sister, no one’s fucking thinking about that lunatic and if she’d shut the fuck up then no one would even know she still exists. She tiresome, her tweets are illegible and she’s really not at all interesting. But, sure, if this will shut her up then let me give her a bit of attention.

She’s angry because she felt entitled to an answer and because I didn’t give her one. Then she did what so many folks do. First, I should mention, I’ve never interacted with this person before she mentioned me on Twitter⁴. She’s not the least bit important to me. Apparently, someone else with whom she’s engaged in an internet war outed her⁵. I don’t like that shit. I don’t support folks who out others or attempt to intimidate them in real life due to a freaking flame war. At any rate, like many people, she decided that blocking and moving on just wasn’t possible. So, she festered and watched then got drunk and bam! Here we are. I imagine most folks like her think every tweet and every post is a subliminal message to them and then proceed to flip the fuck out about every single one. I’m in her brain like a little worm wiggling around and taking control. She’s not kicking my shins because it’s amusing to her⁶. She’s doing it because she’s lost her fucking mind.

I also found out why she got so pissed that I wouldn’t out my friend’s personal information: She re-doxed her own friend.

I went over to her very long and rambling blog as someone said I’d laugh. Well, I didn’t laugh. There was a post up over there that was talking about her friend being outed by some trolls. She mentioned in this post that the person who outed the information locked down their blog (which also means it’s delisted). So, what does she do? She announces her friend’s Twitter username and combines it with her real name. Multiple times. It wasn’t enough that this information, combined with a nonsense twitter war, was indexed on another blog. She had to make sure that person’s name was tied to that particular silliness forever and ever amen. Someone googling that person’s name? They’ll find that blog and read about how there’s even more information somewhere due to a twitter war! Yay! Most people would write the story like “This person doxed my friend, but I’m not going to share that information because it doesn’t need to spread any further.” Most people would worry that their friend’s name was permanently tied to online drama and searchable on Google. They’d be concerned and, I dunno, not share it further. I know I’d never re-share that shit. Doris isn’t very bright though, so there’s that.

There’s a whole lot of nuttery over on Twitter. A lot more since Oprah declared it cool and the folks on Facebook wandered over. Aside from “Jimmeh” (who will always be ridiculously assholish) you have this sort of person. I wonder how they function in real life. If someone is rude to them in the line at McDonald’s, do they follow that person home and drive by their house every day? Do they send anonymous letters to their house? “Hey, lady who was rude to me, fuck you! I’m going to stress for days and days about this thing and then tell you that I’m not stressing and, well, YOU NEED PSYCHIATRIC HELP!” I imagine not. We all know it’s the internets which make folks so brave. She probably imagines that’s what she’d say or do- she’d show that person who was rude to her and they’d rue the day! She’d be the kind of person who would leave crayon-scribbled notes on her bank teller’s car reminding the poor woman that she didn’t smile at her on that Monday 6 months ago. Anyway, the Twitter nutters are have a hard time realizing that it’s no more than another internet chat room. There’s nothing serious about it (unless you’re AP, in which case you should change your passwords). And when you let it become that much of a serious part of your life, well, there goes your sanity.

At any rate, Twitter wars come and go. Blogwars are few and far between, but were always so much better. Anyone else remember the good ones? Oh, those were the days. So, I hope this chick likes the attention⁷. Maybe she’ll be able to sleep better now.

1. Unless you count a refusal to share a friend’s personal information as something.
2. Someone else was replying to her or I wouldn’t have known. Of course I had to look. That shit makes me laugh every time.
3. She’s got me blocked, though, so there’s that.
4. She’s fighting with my friend, but I wasn’t involved.
5. Also known as “doxed”.
6. Which, in honesty, I can respect.
7. No one ever said I was the bigger person.

Marriage was traditionally a contract between a man and his father-in-law to transfer or consolidate power/property. So there’s that.

— Jenny Jinx™®©° (@Jennyjinx) March 26, 2013

Marriage was traditionally a contract between a man and his father-in-law to transfer or consolidate power/property. So there’s that.

I woke up to some crazy-ass replies to this tweet after it’d been retweeted by someone relatively popular. I want to highlight some of those replies, because they are 1) stupid and 2) not even the slightest bit on topic with regard to what I tweeted (topic being: traditional marriage as a contract).

In no particular order:

@jennyjinx interesting where did you get that info?

— Ada (@ada_lso) March 27, 2013

@Jennyjinx interesting where did you get that info?

Answer: History

@jennyjinx uhhh what Bible was that in?

— ✄ FARRAH ✄ (@FARRAH1228) March 27, 2013

@Jennyjinx uhhh what Bible was that in?

Answer: The only possible history is the one in the Christian Bible. All other history is null and void. There has been no history since the last story was written.

@jennyjinx FALSE. Defined in the garden between 1 MAN & 1 WOMAN

— Hillbilly BOB (@MattGallows) March 27, 2013

@Jennyjinx FALSE. Defined in the garden between 1 MAN & 1 WOMAN

Question: How did Cain and Abel become fathers and who are the mothers of their children? Also, how do you explain the polygamy in the Old Testament?

@jennyjinx @mattgallows That’s weird. Because in Genesis the world is created. So where were these contracts taking place?

— Reese D. (@Rees3DJ) March 27, 2013

@Jennyjinx @mattgallows That’s weird. Because in Genesis the world is created. So where were these contracts taking place?

Answer: History. Again this is hard, I know.

@jennyjinx marriage was created by God.. but your tweet is a view in placeswhere women don’t have any rights and are viewed as property

— Markus James Diamond (@ItzMarkus) March 27, 2013

@Jennyjinx marriage was created by God.. but your tweet is a view in places where women don’t have any rights and are viewed as property

Indeed. Imagine that. And prior to the 1800s women were indeed regarded as property- an idea which was based on the Bible in part or whole. History is a finicky bitch though and is oh-so hard.

@jennyjinx @rees3djshe’s just one of these people who just randomly says things and has no clue what she’s saying.

— Hillbilly BOB (@MattGallows) March 27, 2013

@Jennyjinx @Rees3DJ she’s just one of these people who just randomly says things and has no clue what she’s saying.

Google is hard too. I mean, you have to be a magical elf to actually use that damned site.

@farrah1228 @jennyjinx Bible > than some uninspired history book!

— Patrick (@P_Daddy_6) March 27, 2013

@FARRAH1228 @Jennyjinx Bible > than some uninspired history book!

Those asshole history books are librul conspiracies! Ruining hearts and minds! There is no history. There is no history outside of that book which is not only mythical but also historical.

Ask any of these people where the proof is for their Bible and I will guarantee they will point to some History Channel special telling us that archaeologists found proof of one story or the other from their favorite book. If you point out the not-so-savory aspects of their book – including stoning adulterers and keeping slaves – they will tell you that the Old Testament was made null by Jesus dying on the cross. Shoot, I’d bet money on it. It’s highly amusing to see people chase their tails when it comes to those aspects of their Bible. Unless, of course, they like a section then it’s all hands on deck!

The most amusing part of all of this is the fact that I simply stated that traditionally marriage was a contract between a man and his father-in-law. This isn’t something made up. It’s a fact. Actually, the way we marry now is contractual. You need the state to recognize the partnership and dissolve it. Marrying for love? Unheard of back when these “traditions” were being born. That’s something else that relatively modern.

So, Google really is my friend and I was able to dig up some very basic history for people who cannot believe that people were actually around prior to the Common Era (when the Good Book was written). I was a little taken aback by the reaction to that tweet¹ especially among the nutters. I didn’t realize that there are people who really don’t believe there is any kind of history with regard to marriage. Maybe it’s just that they’re just that stupid? I’m going with that too, but I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical answer– somewhere.

At any rate, I came upon this fabulous article from last summer:

When did people start marrying?
The first recorded evidence of marriage contracts and ceremonies dates to 4,000 years ago, in Mesopotamia. In the ancient world, marriage served primarily as a means of preserving power, with kings and other members of the ruling class marrying off daughters to forge alliances, acquire land, and produce legitimate heirs. Even in the lower classes, women had little say over whom they married. The purpose of marriage was the production of heirs, as implied by the Latin word matrimonium, which is derived from mater (mother).

[...]

Same-sex unions aren’t a recent invention. Until the 13th century, male-bonding ceremonies were common in churches across the Mediterranean. Apart from the couples’ gender, these events were almost indistinguishable from other marriages of the era. Twelfth-century liturgies for same-sex unions — also known as “spiritual brotherhoods” — included the recital of marriage prayers, the joining of hands at the altar, and a ceremonial kiss. [Emphasis mine]

I know this is shocking to some, but that really is history.

But wait! There’s more:

In the early 18th century, the English critic Daniel Defoe denounced marriage as “legalized prostitution.” English law dispossessed any woman who married, with the notable exception of England’s queens. Women were not allowed to own property or land or to control their own assets. William Blackstone, a celebrated 18th century jurist, put it this way: “By marriage, the very being or legal existence of a woman is suspended, or at least incorporated or consolidated into that of the husband, under whose wing, protection, or cover she performs everything.”

Even women with dowries or inheritances were subjected to the financial control of husbands, other male relatives, or guardians. Married European women could not buy or sell, except in the capacity of “deputy husbands.” They could not engage in any financial transactions in their own right. Their dilemma is epitomized by the case of Millicent Garrett Fawcett, an English woman whose purse was stolen by a young thief in the 1870s. Already a leader of the movement for woman suffrage, she was surprised to hear in court that the charge against the thief was “stealing from the person of Millicent Fawcett a purse containing £1, 18s. 6d., the property of Henry Fawcett.” In her memoirs, Millicent wrote, “I felt as if I had been charged with theft myself.” [Emphasis mine]

As a woman, I can say that I’m not a fan of traditional marriage. I mean honest-to-goodness traditional. I’d rather not have to bow down to my husband or be forced to marry for money (or lack thereof!) or be considered property. I’m really happy that era is long gone².

I’m not going to go into the biblical quotes that prove that even there women were traditionally property of men (and some women still believe they are subservient to their husbands based on biblical principles). My tweet wasn’t about religion- some of which aren’t Christian (also shocking). It was about traditional marriage. It’s been traditionally a contract between parties. Just because one does not like the history does not make the history wrong.

Luckily for the rest of sane society, these willfully ignorant folks are now in the minority. Most of us are well aware of our unsavory past as human beings and we know that we must move forward. That means that if a man and a woman are legally permitted to enter into a legally binding marriage contract which is sanctioned and regulated by the state then so should same-sex couples be allowed to contract together.

Most of us call this “marriage equality” and we do, in fact, support it.

1. It seemed so innocent!
2. Not so long. My great-grandmother was married off when she was 12 to a 36 year old man. That was in the U.S. in 1932.

Yes, aren’t you just the cute little rebel troll? Please do keep yapping your jaws.

These people– the every person for him or herself people — don’t give a flying monkey’s ass about their neighbors. I know that. They wouldn’t piss on their neighbor’s house if it was on fire. Well, they might if they were a good conservative donor or a regular member of their church. Otherwise? Fuck ‘em.

I don’t understand that. I guess it’s because I was raised that a community takes care of it’s own and that members of the community who are suffering deserve the help of the community. If it’s not the community, then it’s the family. If someone’s water, for instance, is contaminated, then that hurts everyone.

Part of my family comes from Amish stock. A lot of stuff is on the television about the Amish. They are very conservative, pacifists and tight knit. They’re a religious sect, so that’s something to consider when looking at them as a group. But they are very communal. They will help with doctor bills, with house repairs and with food to their needy. Shoot, if their English¹ neighbors need help then they will rally around them too. Community matters.

I know people are selfish, but when it comes down to it, we are communal. We’re social. We depend on each other. So, this idea of cheering the quickening of climate change and the destruction of the only home we have makes me see red.

There’s a whole town in Louisiana right now that is sinking into a hole that is caused by the collapse of a salt dome. It’s causing tremors and gas leaks. It’s in a gas drilling area and the entire fucking town has been evacuated.

Then over in Colorado there’s a natural gas leak coming from somewhere. Officials can’t find the source and don’t really know how to stop it.

No cause was reported. No source of the spill has been identified, Williams spokeswoman Donna Gray said. Chemicals present in the plume were not revealed.
“Everyone wants to know that,” Gray said. “There is free-flowing hydrocarbon underground. It’s coming from something. There’s pipes underground. There’s tanks in the ground. We really do not know yet.”
[...]
In 2008, Colorado wildlife officials began sampling fish in Parachute Creek for contamination in response to concerns about the impact of oil and gas operations. State overseers allow drilling and production activities along most mountain waterways — a concern environment groups long have pointed to as a regulatory deficiency.
A recent review of state data by the Center for Western Priorities found that the oil and gas industry in Colorado often pollutes water. It found that more than 60 percent of the spills reported since January 2011 by five major operators (555 of the total 985 spills reported) occurred within 1,500 feet of surface water and that more than 30 percent occurred within 500 feet.

Over here in Ohio, a company was recently discovered dumping toxic fracking brine into a river. That was up north near Youngstown. His employee said they’d done it at least 20 times since October– each time dumping 20,000 gallons of that poison into the river. You do the math. Don’t worry, though, they’ve cleaned up about 10,000 gallons or so (so they say).

Pretty soon we’ll have the Keystone XL Pipeline snaking it’s way down from Canada to our Gulf. The same Gulf that is still trying to recover from BP’s massive spill. Tar sands oil is some of the dirtiest oil to be found and the pipeline that’s already been built here is already leaking [PDF]. That’s a monster we really don’t need, but hey! We’re in an era of clean fucking energy so yay!

This past winter, the Northeast United States got hit by Hurricane Sandy. We can expect more of that kind of extreme weather thanks to climate change. Drought? Check. Hurricanes? Check. Wildfires? Check. Tornadoes? Check. Heat waves? Check. Most reputable scientists now agree that this particular warming is being accelerated by us. We can’t fight Mother Nature. She will win. We can, however, respect her. Make an attempt to turn it around, right?

Nope. Apparently, it’s much more important to laugh in the face of those pansy-ass hippies trying to change the world. Silly hippies. These people laughing at the “hippies” (which include farmers, small town and rural folks, educators, scientists and people who have come face-to-face with what can happen) don’t seem to realize that the freaking planet doesn’t care what ideology they are. What good is money if it’s all spent on shipping in water or rebuilding towns or finding non-contaminated food sources? What good is winning a one-upmanship if the world around them is on fire or flooded or sinking into a hole? They really don’t care and really won’t care until it happens to them. Water magically appears in the water bottles at Wal-Mart. Meat magically appears in the meat section, neatly packaged.

I get annoyed with people who think that’s so funny. Then I get depressed because I get so annoyed with them. It’s not just the folks on Twitter who ignore it. I think people won’t start really caring until our air gets as polluted as Beijing’s or our water is completely undrinkable.

1. Non-Amish

We started talking about how to be safe from sexual assault and what to do if it does happen.

TheMan wasn’t happy with our conversation. He thinks she’s too young to talk about these kinds of things and I should wait until she’s older. But she’s 8 and that means she’s already at the age when she’s at risk- if not from boys then from grown men.

I know that the prevailing conversation online right now is “Teach boys not to rape” and I support that. Every little boy should be having that conversation with his parents or someone who cares about him. He needs to learn the boundaries of bodies– including his own. I am behind that 100%. But I’m still afraid that’s a big mission for a lot of people, many of which still think it’s the girl’s who cause their assaults¹ and who teach their boys phrases like “If she’s old enough to bleed, she’s old enough to breed”.

I want to tell you what we talked about and how I handled it. I don’t know if I did a good job or not. We discussed what happened in Steubenville. I was careful not to get into details. I was especially careful not to tell her anything that would lead her to believe that Jane Doe deserved what happened to her or was any way at fault. I did tell her that sometimes she may want to have fun and hang out but then there are predators that are waiting for the right moment to strike. I told her that she can’t always trust her friends to look out for her and make sure she makes it home ok. I explained that people will watch horrible things happen to her and turn a blind eye– as if it’s perfectly normal because, well, she won’t remember it, right? I told her that she has to be vigilant. She has to trust herself more than anyone and never be afraid to tell when someone has done her wrong like that.

Jane Doe thought those kids were her friends. She thought that she could trust those kids. The ones who raped her and the ones who did absolutely nothing to stand up for her and take her home. Those were her friends. They took advantage of that, allowed her to drink and then happily helped themselves her body. The boys who did this– and the ones who helped them and filmed them — knew what they were doing to her. She thought they cared. To them she was a good time and nothing more. She wasn’t even a real person. The other girls at the parties didn’t stand up for her. Maybe they were afraid of what would happen to them. Maybe they feared being ostracized. Jane Doe was when she spoke out. Her friends were threatening her. Her friends testified against her. Because Jane Doe was raped by predators² and she came forward, she became the outcast. At least to the people who she thought she could trust the night her world fell apart.

I didn’t tell my daughter that drinking lessens her inhibitions as that was not even part of the conversation. I told her about a drug that boys will sometimes put in a girl’s soda so that they fall asleep so the boys can do nasty and animalistic things to her. I told her that she can’t trust her friends. I told her that if there is a time when she is in a situation where boys and girls are drinking then she must not. I told her that she must remain watchful of the girls around her just in case one of them needs her to protect her. I told her the police will help her to help them. I told her the police will help her.

I explained to her that if anyone at all — including a family member — puts anything inside of her or touches her genitals without her permission then she is to run screaming to me because her body belongs to her and no one should think they have a right to touch any part of her without her say-so. I said it’s better to be embarrassed when you’re telling me than having to live your whole life knowing that happened to you. It’s like a cancer and it will eat at you.

I taught my daughter to mistrust the world around her. To mistrust her friends– especially the male friends later in school. I taught her that her best friends will sometimes allow horrible things to happen to her so don’t trust them completely either. I taught her that the worst thing she could do was ignore it if it happened to her or if it happened to her friend. I told her to call the police or tell someone close if she sees anything. I told her I will protect her from the pushback. She cannot be a bystander.

She wasn’t the first daughter I told these things. We’re supposed to trust our friends and family until they give us a reason not to, right? Until your passed out drunk and your friends just walk away from you while you’re being carried away to be used to make amateur porn and a plaything for boys who just want control over a woman’s limp body. Then they get to brag to their friends and their victim is shamed then ostracized. That’s where we are now with this culture.

I blame the rapists and I blame their enablers³ who let the predators have their prey. I blame the culture where these kids think this is a good time to be had on Friday night. If someone would’ve at any time called 9-1-1 when they saw them carrying her then maybe it wouldn’t have gotten as far as it did. Because they cared more about their reputations and afraid their friends wouldn’t like them on Monday.

I’m teaching my daughter not to trust the people who she calls friends because she has so many reasons not to. I hope that she will remain strong and watchful. I hope that she will never be faced with either crying out or dialing the police. I hope that my daughter remains innocent for as long as possible. But I still have to teach her that kids do really bad things and I don’t want her to be on the wrong end of that story.

We had just a little conversation. There was a good starting point. We’ll no doubt have more as she grows. I want her to trust me, as ironic as that sounds, enough to know that if anything happens to her or anyone is harassing her then she can come to me. I want her to trust me that I will protect her as best I can and if it comes right down to it I’ll hunt some motherfuckers down.

I love her. I wish boys didn’t rape, but they do. Therefore I have to prepare her. And that pisses me the fuck off.

1. As the mother of 2 girls I’m focusing on them. I’m fully aware that boys are assaulted and raped too. That’s not what I’m discussing here as Lil’lady is not a boy.
2. Who, according to some stories, have done this before.
3. You may notice a theme with this enabler stuff around here.