Now, you ask yourself: Why the hell is this chick worried about online time? I mean, shouldn’t I be taking my happy ass outside to get some sun. Well, I do. I take the kids outside and watch them run around, fight, run around, try to climb the fence, run around, and fight some more. Lil’lady is having a difficult time adjusting to the extra person in the house so she’s being a bit difficult with the fighting thing. At any rate, I get outside and sometimes I just want to be inside– the intertoobz.

As I’ve been writing this, my supervisors have sent three emails asking for people to come in a little early today. We’re backed up and they did a huge hiring ramp recently. I’m going in at 2 and going to work until 2. Sounds crazy, huh? But I can work those hours without going into a flare and without finding myself totally exhausted. I can chat with my colleagues and laugh at really stupid people and get paid some good money². Not only that, my supervisor is amazing and totally respectful. I really do like the company I’m working for, which is a huge plus for me. So, where was I? Um, I forget.

I’m going to start early today so I guess I’m done with my post for now. I’ve got to draw some pictures for a friend during the slow periods today. Multitasking queen, I am. Hopefully I’ll find some time tomorrow to add another post.

1. Little as in “3 years old” not little as in Tyrion.
2. Good money for BFE, Ohio, mind you. Which is enough to pay all my bills by myself without having to worry too much.

Meet Charlie, our new, probably temporary, addition. He’s a 10 month-old, Norfolk Terrier mix¹ and is so freaking cute I can’t even stand it. And he came just in time for my birthday.

The day before yesterday, my neighbor told me that her friend was taking him to the pound because she couldn’t find a home for him and she had to get rid of him. But our pound destroys dogs after two days, so he would have been doomed. She probably told this to me because I’m a huge softie when it comes to animals (see my love the robins nesting on my porch) and knew I couldn’t let him die. So, of course, I said I’d foster him until we found a home for him– and I knew it was going to cause huge problems when I agreed to it.

Well, they brought him over, with all his belongings, and I just fell in love. How could I not? Anyway, they assured me that he’s house trained and that he doesn’t chew much. Since he’s only 10 months old I thought for sure he’d chew. He’s a puppy and that’s what they do. Right? I also expected him to be a little bit yappy, since he’s an ankle biter terrier. I was pleasantly wrong. He is incredibly well-mannered and has adapted to his new home as if he’d been here forever. He refuses to jump on the furniture even when Lil’lady invites him². He ignores shoes³. And he only barks when someone walks into the driveway. His previous owners did a good job training him so far. He also sits and plays the piano.

That was cute. His ball bounced on the Lil’lady’s keyboard and he got curious about the music. So he decided to investigate for a full 5 minutes. About the time I was able to get the camera, though, he stopped. Figures, huh?

Anyway, I started this post yesterday, but then got distracted. I went outside to play hopscotch with my daughter. Do you know that Old Navy sells kits for that now? I didn’t either. Apparently, Millie bought one for Lil’lady. I tried to convince her that we don’t need little bean bags, that proper hopscotch requires a rock, but she refused to listen. At any rate, I was happily hopping along when my doppy ass didn’t pick my foot up properly which caused my flip flop to get caught just right which brought me down– on both knees⁴. Keep in mind, that I fall at least 2 times each summer. Last summer it was more than that, but there was tequila involved. Not so this time. I’d had ice cream instead. Anyway, I jumped up and laughed “Har-dee-har! Look at me; no tears!” and off I went. Except then my back started hurting and I am way too old for skinned knees. I laughed then, but I did have a reason to forget about this post.

Today, I tried to walk Charlie, but my right knee is swollen and my left 4th toe is ouchy, so I ended up letting him loose in the yard. I made sure to stay between him and the driveway (there’s a fence around the whole yard except for that part). He managed to chase a squirrel and find something’s burrow and then the little turd took off. Scared me to death. I was yelling as he was tearing around me. Don’t you know, he ran straight to the back door and waited for my crippled self to come let him in? Everyone say “awwww”. Still, he made me run, so it was the leash after that. But isn’t he cute? Of course, he is.

That’s all.

1. I googled his breed.
2. He will chase his ball up though.
3. Though he thought it was hilarious to grab my slipper and make me chase him for it.
4. Don’t you just love run-on sentences?

I haven’t written about my birds in a long time. That’s probably because before this year, no bird has nested on my porch¹. This year, though, a mama robin moved in. I love to watch the whole process, so I don’t disturb the nests or otherwise interfere with the nesting process. I have no idea what the scientific terms for all of this are², but she’s nesting and raising babies so there ya go.

Anyway, this robin pair raised two broods already. It was fun watching mama make the nest (or maybe they both do?) and then lay on the eggs. Then watching the babies finally peeking over top. Finally, the fat little babies hopping off the edge of the nest and crashing into a green chair we have on the porch. They were so cute.

With her first brood, mama was nervous whenever I came out on the porch. I sit on the porch a lot so after a while she’d actually hang around a while after I set in my chair. She’d give me the stink eye, burrow a little into her nest and the first time I made a sound, she’d take off. Then she’d set on the fence and her mate would perch in the tree, squawking at me to get the hell away from their territory. When the babies hatched, the pair seemed too busy to care if I was there. They had babies to feed. At night, mama would bed down on her babies and pretend I wasn’t there. I think she thought I couldn’t see her. As long as I didn’t look in her general direction she was ok. By the time the babies flew the coop, she was comfortable enough with me to sit in the nest while I sat in my chair. I just didn’t look at her.

A week after the babies took off, mama came back. I was sitting in my spot on the porch and heard her fluttering in the old nest. I looked up and she was doing some kind of crazy bird dance. I’ve never seen this behavior before, so I very stealthily watched her. She was bringing in mud and smoothing it around the inside of the nest. Aha! This was the first time I’ve ever seen a bird actually fortifying a nest. Awesome sauce! It was funny, though, because she was basically building a new nest on top of the old one. She’d go get some dead grass and then bring some mud, then she’d do her dance. I think she was starting to trust me a little bit more, because she didn’t seem to care even when I was staring at her. A couple of days later I peeked and, sure enough, there were little blue eggs in there.

This brood was really used to me when they finally decided to hit the green chair³. The first set would hunker down in the nest when I came out. The second set didn’t give a fig whether I was there or not. They’d peek and squawk at me like I was supposed to be part of their little lives. Mama would still take off if I looked at her too long, but otherwise ignored me. Her and daddy brought the worms in shifts, the babies got too fat for their nest and so it went.

Well, when this brood took off I thought that was all she wrote. So, I took the nest down. There were nasty little bugs in it so I flung it over the fence⁴. I clean up the corner and spray it down with bug killer. I figured she’d have a nice little spot next season. Little did I know that mama is not done having babies.

I was sitting here the day before yesterday and she comes flying in. She set up on the pillar and looked around. I never knew that birds could actually look bewildered, but they sure can. She flew away. Oops. I thought maybe she was going to find somewhere else to go. Nope. She comes back a little while later and looks around some more. I think she was cussing me out, but I’m not really sure because I don’t speak her language. She did that all day Thursday and then she seemed to disappear yesterday. I’ve been keeping an eye out because I find this whole thing incredibly fascinating. She didn’t do anything but come, stand on the pillar for a bit and then fly off. I thought about putting the old nest back, but got over that. I figured she knew what she was going to do and I wasn’t touching that fucking nest.

This morning I get up and come out to have my coffee. Don’t you know that mama had started building a new nest on top of that pillar? Yep, she’d been busy at dawn, I’m sure, and she was not going to find a new spot for her babies. As I was getting ready for Lil’lady’s birthday party, mama robin was bringing in grass and mud. Throughout the day, she was slowly making progress and making a mess in the corner of my porch with debris that wasn’t quite making the final cut for the new nest. As I write this she’s sitting above me doing her dance- doing some kind of crazy thing with her wings and flapping her butt all over the place.

I’m glad, too. I know we’re not supposed to let birds nest on our porch, but I love watching them. I love the whole process and knowing that the babies are safer here than in a tree. And I love watching them go from ugly little monsters to fat, spotted fledglings. I’ve actually learned a lot about robins from this pair nesting so close to my spot on the porch and that’s worth the hassle of the after-season cleanup. I can’t wait to meet the new brood.

*The picture above is of the second brood right before they took flight. I think I could’ve gotten closer for a better picture, but I try not to bother them at all (aside from my presence out here).

1. We used to have robins and doves nesting at our old house.
2. I can look, I know, but I’d rather not turn to the internet for this.
3. Which was on their way to the porch banister and off into the yard, by the way. They just all seem to end up in that chair for a couple of minutes after their first flight.
4. The neighbors won’t care, I’m sure.

So, my job is a telecommute position. That means I don’t have to go into work but I still get a pay check. No, I’m not a robo-calling monkey or whatever. But I do make pretty good money and I love it. I love it so much I could lick it. I mean, if it was possible to lick something like that. Anyway, I sit at my desk and do my job, which includes talking to real people on the phone. I have to behave professionally and do the job. I can’t be distracted or clock in but not work or have lots and lots of noise happening around me. It’s a requirement of the job (did I mention I love it?). I need to set up a home office, of course, but right now I can’t do that. Right now I’ve just got my regular office– desktop, phone, fax machine, printer, chair, desk– in the middle of the house. This has been working fine. Lil’lady minds me well while I’m talking on the phone and He doesn’t bother me. I just have to make sure that the people that don’t live in this house don’t bother me during business hours. So, I did what anyone would do.

I put signs on my front and back door when I’m working. The signs read:

Please do NOT knock on the door OR ring the bell.
I’m working from home and can NOT be disturbed.
Thank you.

That’s pretty easy to understand, right? I’m not writing that in a language other than English, right? Apparently, we’re all smoking crack. That is not in plain English. And the emphasize red words? That’s the crack making you think those are important words. And it’s not really red. You just think that. Shoot, even I imagined that I created those words in red font.

Today I’m happily sitting at my desk, doing my job and loving it, when the freaking doorbell goes off. I don’t have one of those simple “Ding Dong” bells. Nope. I have a bell that goes on for about 10 seconds. And it’s loud. An old fashioned, loud bell that has a tune (of sorts)¹. It’s nice, actually. That’s the back door bell. It’s different from the front doorbell. Fancy stuff. So, I’m sitting there and I hear “Dong, di, dong, dong, dong, ding…”– loud as fuck. Then I get mad. Seriously?

I look and it’s Lil’ Sis. Sure enough. She’s doing The Mother’s bidding. They came to pick up their mail and totally ignored the sign. Mostly because I thought it was in plain English but it was actually in Japanese (or maybe Russian). It was all my fault, I’m sure. I’m like the characters in “Dr. Who”, everything translates magically from a foreign language to my language, even when I’m writing in another language. Right? All my fault! I mean, I didn’t really want to be left alone while I work. And I don’t really have a job anyway, because I don’t leave the premises to do the job. Sure, I get a pay check and I have a boss and I have rules, but it’s not serious because it’s not a real fucking job. And no one can see me so they don’t know if I’m fucking around and so what if someone on the phone hears the doorbell and complains? I can’t get fired if I’m not leaving the house to go to my made up job.

Right?

I got mad and ran down to answer the door. I pointed at my sign and said “When I put that sign up it means don’t ring the bell because I’m working.” Then I went back to work. Did I get an apology? Nope. Did anyone act the slightest bit guilty for completely disrespecting me and my job? Of course not. It was my fault, don’t ya know, for expecting anyone to take my job seriously. I get the look that says “why the fuck are you getting mad at me?” I was really shocked that she would disregard my boundaries in such a blatant way. As if she can just cross that line and I’ll be fine with it. Nope, not going to be fine. I’m going to get pissed and she’s going to know why I’m pissed. This is serious business as far as I’m concerned.

I finally found a way to make some money and actually love the job and still… Funny, though, it’s not TheMan that’s not taking it seriously. He leaves me alone and keeps Lil’lady out of my hair while I’m working. Millie will call and leave me a message on my cellphone when I’m working. But The Mother will have Lil’ Sis ring the bell when the sign is up. She also doesn’t understand why she can’t call the house phone while I’m working. I take my job very seriously (well, as seriously as I can when one of my coworkers is sending me funny messages on IM², but she’s working on the same thing so she knows what’s what) and I don’t like it when someone else doesn’t respect that.

At any rate, that’s what I’ve been doing. In my very limited free time I’ve been watching every episode of “Dr. Who” and “Torchwood” that I can get my hands on. I fell into this new obsession, by the way, when I was feeling sorry for myself. I’d never really gotten into either of these programs much until recently. I’m watching the Eleventh Doctor series now. I think I liked the guy before David Tennant the best, though. He was sexier, anyway.

And now, back to my second job. This is more along the lines of what I like to do and I’m making more money now than I was a year ago doing the same thing (which is not enough to pay any bills, but way more than zero). I like it too, but I’ve discovered that this new job I’m doing is something I like a lot better. I don’t know why that is. There’s just something really rewarding and I love it. Hmmm… Both of these streams of income actually allow me to be productive but don’t cause me to flare too much or have to be on disability. That rocks my freaking socks.

That is all.

1. I might actually record it and upload it.
2. Like chit chat at work and it’s hilarious

Here’s an example. My MIL comes over and wants to tell me something. Does she just come out and say it? No, she plays with the baby and says stuff like “Wouldn’t you like to go to my house?”Don’t you think those (windows, toys, tables, etc.) are too dirty for you to touch?”"Where are your shoes? We can’t go anywhere without your shoes.” The baby is 16 months old!!! She can’t talk yet!! All of her comments are meant for me to hear and act upon. Some of it is really rude, too, like when she mentions how dirty my house is. Ok, my house isn’t as clean as hers, but I have four people living in my house “ she has two- and I don’t have a cleaning lady“ she has two. I have a baby and she doesn’t. I’m not FLIPPIN’ OCD, and she is.

So, today she made her little comment about the shoes. I just had enough. I said to her “She (the baby) doesn’t know where her shoes are, so maybe you should ask me about them.” Hmmph, and now I’m supposed to feel bad because I hurt her feelings. She should have just said to me “Hey, how about getting the baby’s shoes and we can get out of here?”

Don’t get me wrong, I can get the hint. I have caught many many hints in my time. But I’m sick of the hints, ok. I just want someone to be direct, ask me a question or make a statement to me directly. In my family anymore it’s like everyone is so busy dropping hints that they don’t even know how to talk to me anymore. And I’ve gotten to the point where I completely ignore them. If they don’t have what it takes to just speak up then I don’t want to hear them make the noise.

And while I’m on the subject on my MIL, let me just get this off of my chest. Yesterday my husband, the baby, and I went to a Halloween party thrown by MIL’s office. When we were leaving I asked DH to grab the diaper bag for me- it was right behind him on a rack. Two seconds later his mother is telling him to take out the trash. He looks at me then looks at her and out he goes with the trash. It took him like one second to decide he’d rather not piss his mother off. That irked me so bad that I’m still angry with him. Doesn’t seem like a big deal to you? Well, you’re obviously not married to a mama’s boy. I thought I was marrying a man who had his shit together, was independent, and had a good future ahead of him. I’ve since learned that none of that is true. The only reason he does so good in his life is because his mother makes all of his decisions!!!! I’m seriously considering divorce, to be honest.