I Felt Their Pain

This post was written over the course of a few days. I couldn’t decide where I was going with it and even if I wanted to post it. But here it is.

I am having a difficult day today. I saw on Twitter that another baby has died. Last week it was little Maddie Spohr, who was 17 months old. And today it’s Thalon Myers, just under 4 months old. I don’t want to link to them, because I don’t want any trackbacks to here to diminish what those families are experiencing1. Each death is a tragedy and each child was a gift. But, selfishly maybe, hearing about little Thalon brought back the pain of my own loss.

There was a link to a list of suggestions on how to approach and comfort a mother who has just experienced such a loss. The suggestions there are very helpful. If I’d have known about that list I’d have handed it out to every person that came into contact with me after Gabriel died. It seemed that everyone thought it was ok to say things like “You’re still young” and “You can always have another one”.

I was so utterly angry after Gabriel’s funeral that I’m pretty sure there was nothing anyone could say that would comfort me. Most of what I heard through my fog just caused me more grief. My aunt even told me at one point “You still have that one” (meaning Lil’ Miss). I’m sure she meant well, but I still haven’t gotten over the rage I felt at hearing it. As if Gabriel was just a throw-away and I should be thankful for being able to bear children at least. Pfft.

But the absolute worst part was hearing the sounds of other children or hearing stories of other children. My child was dead and I couldn’t love him or mother him or do any of the things that other mothers could do with their living children. I didn’t want to hear about them because it just hurt so damned much. And that made me even more angry.

I was reading Heather Spohr’s account of bringing her Maddie’s ashes home and that brought back all of those memories too. Gabriel’s funeral was on Monday and on Wednesday I went to pick up his box2 and nearly lost my mind. I was bringing my son home in a box. How unfair was that? There was no new baby smells, no crying, no cuddling. Inside the box was a small, Ziplock sized bag that contained what remained of his physical body. Imagine two cups of flour. That’s about the equivalent of what was left of my son. I thought it ironic too that there was a pad lock with numbers holding the bag together3. Who was going to steal him? Did they think I was going to inhale him? After I looked inside that box, my soul left my body, I think, and I was left empty. I couldn’t breathe– literally. I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t hear anything besides my own heart exploding. I closed that box and didn’t open it again for 2 years.

When I went through the comments to both Heather and Shana (Thalon’s mom) I was reminded of what kinds of things I hated hearing while I was deep in my grief. So many people left them heartfelt condolences and didn’t mean to be hurtful, but so many of those comments would have sent me (during my grief) into a spiral.

To me the worst thing would be to be reminded that someone somewhere has a living child. For example, “I hugged my little one a little tighter today in your child’s honor” is meant to offer comfort, but is hurtful to a newly grieving mother. She can’t hug her child anymore. Her child is gone and the above comment just brought the pain of that realization to the surface.

Another one was “When my twin toddlers came running to me today…” Again, a new grieving mother can no longer experience whatever it was that those toddlers did. She lost that when she lost her child. That is agony for her. The sentiment of the comment will be realized later, but when she initially sees that her grief and pain will be compounded. It’s inevitable. I don’t think that anyone who has never lost a child can understand why being sentimental about your living child to a newly grieving mother can make things just a little bit worse. Or, if she was like me, a whole lot worse.

I knew for three months in advance that Gabriel was going to die. I had grief counseling before he was even born. I was warned that people would say things that were meant well but that would hurt me. I was supposed to be prepared. I wasn’t. I can’t imagine what it’s like for a mother to all of the sudden loss her child. For her baby to be there one minute and lost the next. I can’t imagine that, in those situations, those mothers are any better at handling stories of living children than I was.

I’m lucky in two respects (as compared to other mothers who have lost their children): I knew Gabriel was going to die and he died shortly after birth. So I was prepared and I didn’t get weeks, months or years of bonding time with him. But I still lost my mind when the mortuary came for his little body. I still lost my mind when I saw living children. I still lost my mind when I brought that box of ashes home. But I didn’t have those memories of him to torment me even more. Just my two days with him in the hospital. That didn’t diminish my pain, of course, but I didn’t have the shock and all that goes with having a living child which would, no doubt, add to the struggle for breath. I am heartbroken for Heather and Shana, but can’t offer them comfort because there is none. Not right now.

I hope that both mothers stay away from their blogs and Twitter for a while. Even when you think you’re strong and you think you understand what is being said, the pain still grips you just a little tighter when living children are mentioned. They have lost that when they lost their babies. They don’t need to be constantly reminded of their loss by well-meaning people who think all children bring comfort and joy. That’s just not so for mothers who have just lost one of their own.

Two things helped me when I was grieving.

One was to be part of a support group for grieving parents (as opposed to grieving spouses and such). Being able to talk and to listen to other people that have been where I was brought me a little peace of mind. I learned that what I was feeling was normal and that it was ok to feel all of those negative things I was feeling. I didn’t have to be polite when someone was being thoughtless. I didn’t have to journey alone.

The second one was gardening. I started by planting a tree as a living memorial for Gabriel. Then I repotted all of the plants I’d received at his funeral. They were just more living, growing memorials to my son4. Then I made flowerbeds so I could display little garden statues and plaques in his honor. I picked perennials so they would keep coming back. I took care of those plants like they were my child. I talked to them, I fed them, I weeded them. I mothered those plants. I was productive and that eased my mind tremendously.

My advice to anyone wishing to offer comfort to Heather and Shana is to just offer condolences and maybe point them to other mothers who can offer understanding. As much as you want to do so, you just can’t understand their pain unless you’ve traveled their road. There is a tremendous comfort in being heard by someone who has survived their own pain and remember what it felt like.

And please, though you mean well and are seeking to lessen their pain, don’t mention your own living children. Not now. They will only feel unfairly reminded of their own tragic loss. The wound is so fresh, the heartbreak so recent and the hole so gaping that it will not help them right now.

Update:
I just wanted to say that I didn’t intentionally ignore the fathers who have lost their children. They experience it a little differently– and sadly, are expected to be stronger. Their own grief is pushed aside as society, I think, doesn’t expect them to feel pain at the loss of their child. That’s incredibly unfair to the fathers and I in no way want to diminish their grief. I wrote this post from a mother’s perspective and shared my own feelings.

Sour Grapes has also felt the sting of loss and offers this from the comments:

The comfort for those mothers (and fathers) will come when they realise you can actually survive such a blow. Your life can go on. But that’s not something to suggest at this stage.

My advice to friends of the bereaved: don’t try to make it better, or make it less. Try to see that it’s at least as bad as your friend is making it out to be (she’s actually trying to make it easy for you). Never dismiss the sorrow, the rage, the anger, the frustration. If you can’t handle it up close, stay away and send a nice card. You’ll get your chance to be chirpy and upbeat later.

He’s right. The parents will feel guilty for causing your discomfort while they grieve. They don’t want to burden you with their own pain. I do remember 6 or 7 weeks after Gabriel’s funeral when someone said to me “You’re still crying? Isn’t it time to get over it?” I wasn’t over it. Am still not “over it”, though I’ve learned to let go. Give them time. Mommy and Daddy will need so much time. More than you can possibly understand. And, yes, realize that they are both trying to make this whole experience more easy for you by not letting loose with all of their feelings. Just because the mothers and fathers seem “ok” and “courageous” and “graceful” doesn’t necessarily mean they feel that way.

memorial to Gabriel.

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Sphere: Related Content

  1. Oops. Too late. []
  2. His ashes were put in a picture box instead of an urn and we put a picture of him in it. []
  3. The state of Ohio requires a serial number for all cremations. []
  4. I still have them all, as a matter of fact, save for the tree which was left behind when we moved. []

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Disenchanted

I’ve been actively trying to avoid politics. I’ve overdosed on it and it’s really starting to depress me. I figure I’ve got enough on my plate and seeing the same regurgitated outrage over and over again just doesn’t help any of that. So I’ve found other things to keep me entertained.

But two days ago the Obama administration announced that they would help the Big Three automakers with a “bailout” only after more concessions were made. One of those concessions was that GM CEO Rick Wagoner step down. I don’t give a flying fuck about Wagoner, because he sucks and he’s going to be taken care of no matter what happens. What I care about is that one of the other concessions was that all of the autoworkers were going to be expected to make sacrifices. Specifically I’m talking about this:

It will require unions and workers who have already made painful concessions to make even more. […]

And so I’d like to speak directly to all those men and women who work in the auto industry or live in the countless communities that depend on it. Many of you have been going through tough times for longer than you’d care to remember. And I will not pretend the tough times are over. I cannot promise you there isn’t more pain to come.[…]

There are jobs that cannot be saved. There are plants that will not reopen. And there is little I can say that can subdue the anger or ease the frustration of all whose livelihoods hang in the balance because of failures that weren’t theirs.[…]

That is why today, I am designating a new Director of Recovery for Auto Communities and Workers to cut through red tape and ensure that the full resources of our federal government are leveraged to assist the workers, communities, and regions that rely on our auto industry.

But don’t worry:

if you buy a car from Chrysler or General Motors, you will be able to get your car serviced and repaired, just like always. Your warrantee will be safe. In fact, it will be safer than it’s ever been. Because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warrantee [sic].[..]

Third, the IRS is today launching a campaign to alert consumers of a new tax benefit for auto purchases made between February 16th and the end of this year – if you buy a car anytime this year, you may be able to deduct the cost of any sales and excise taxes. This provision could save families hundreds of dollars and lead to as many as 100,000 new car sales.

You warranty is safe, but the people that built that car are fucked two ways from Sunday. And the people that earned their retirement money, pensions and health care in their old age? Fuck them, too. You see, the contracts are only legally binding if it’s the AIG execs who are getting the millions of dollars in bonuses from their bailout money. They’re the “smart ones” and the brains and blah blah blah. Their contracts matter. The union guys and gals who signed contracts and were due their retirement benefits? They don’t matter.

I was sick over this the other day. Disen-fucking-chanted, even. My blood boiled. There are more concessions due from the workers on the plant floor and too bad-so sad if they have contracts. They’re blue collar working class folk. They don’t have high flautin’ degrees and high-priced tiny assed condos. They work hard doing physical labor and therefore their homes, families and health don’t matter. At least that’s the message I’ve been seeing.

Don’t worry, though. They’ll finally qualify for food stamps and they can get Medicare for their kids. Thank the gods SCHIP passed, huh?

The hypocrisy here is unbelievable. Yes, I know the auto industry needed to revamp a long time ago. Blah fucking blah. I’m talking about the fact that officially nothing can be done about AIG bonus pay outs, but the retired autoworker in Florida– who lives off his pension– is going to find himself without that fucking pension, because everyone has to make concessions. Lazy bastards should have gone to school and insisted that they’re employers go green so long ago. And why the hell didn’t the dumb motherfuckers vote Democratic all these years?

These are some of the messages I’ve been seeing from the “Progressive” community. Instead of wondering why the low-man on the totem pole is getting the shaft1 and why those people have to make more concessions2 they are blaming these people for staying in these jobs, for not being smart enough to get a higher education and, OMG! getting paid a decent wage when other people– who are way smarter — aren’t making that kind of money.

This is just one example of “Progressive” empathy for the screwing the blue collar workers have to endure:

Not going along with this (1+ / 1-)

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I’m all for Unions, but 30-40 per hour in the midwest with just a high school diploma is a joke.

The average teacher in NY with 6 years of college education starts at a 50K/year salary and wont dream of owning a home until 10+ years into their career if they’re lucky (or if they have supplemental income).

The average UAW worker is making about 40 dollars an hour with no further education and pulling down around 70-80k a year.

It’s no wonder our education system is a joke, meanwhile we have to listen to the boohooing about the unions conceding oh so much. Spare me.

by PooNani on Tue Mar 31, 2009 at 11:27:28 AM EDT

Now, I’ll go on to say that most of the other comments in that thread are telling this particular person to shut the fuck up. But there are plenty of other comments that say something similar (though probably not so heavy handed and no, I’m not going to copy them all). What pissed me off is that so many “Progressives” are blaming the workers for this shit. They’re telling them to “buck up” and deal. To “retrain”. How the fuck does a 45 year-old person, who’s worked in the same plant for 20 years, retrain? And what happens to their homes and families in the meantime?

SACRIFICE!! But not if you’re working on Wall Street. Get used to a lower quality of life! But not if you’re uber-smart with numbers and can make yourself a millionaire at someone else’s expense.

These folks– and, indeed, the people that are in their sphere of influence who will also “feel the pain”– have probably lost their life savings3 and have given up many of their benefits that people who aren’t in unions seem so jealous of. They’ve taken voluntary pay cuts. They haven’t stopped working just as hard as they were working before.

And let me tell you something: Working in a fucking factory is hard goddamned work. It’s not standing around with a fucking broom waiting for someone to give you specific instructions on how to sweep it. That’s rightwing propaganda and I’m not hearing that shit. 10-12 hour days of back breaking fucking work is worth what these folks were getting. They were the lucky ones. They got decent pay for the crap they put up with, because they were union. And they deserve their benefits, their retirement and the homes they bought with their hard-earned savings. They don’t deserve to lose it while their execs– and AIG execs — get to walk away with their nice houses and pretty savings portfolios. Hypocrisy.

In Ohio we value the hard work the guys on the floor do. Maybe we should push harder for a fancy-schmancy college education4 but many people in this area (and in Michigan) are content to work with their hands and in these positions. There is nothing wrong with that. But “progressive” wisdom is that they brought this on themselves because they chose that work5 and because they just aren’t that smart. Fuck them and their contracts.

I’m not even sure if I would have been as god-awful pissed as I was (and am again) if I hadn’t seen Progressives standing behind Obama to such an extent as to tell their fellow Progressives6 to buck up and shut up. Quit whining when you’re watching your world fall out from under you? Fuck that noise.

When these folks lose their livelihood, it’s not going to just be the plants that are affected. It’s going to be the neighborhood stores and restaurants, the tax base, the entire. That unemployment and poverty is going to stretch further than just 42,000 people (or so). The few remaining local businesses are going to see a drastic decline in revenue, the cities are going to lose tax money, homes are going to go into foreclosure and that many more people are going to become dependent on government assistance. There will be no other jobs to find when this happens.

But, hey! Those of us living here in the Rust Belt will just buck up and become innovative. After we lose our incomes, our homes and our healthcare. No, we have no reason to be whining and gnashing our teeth. We have no reason to be angry. We were prosperous while stupid, dontcha know. Our potholes aren’t getting filled, our food pantries aren’t getting filled and our cost of living is going through the roof. But hey! We brought it on ourselves. Right?78

FUCK that noise.

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Sphere: Related Content

  1. Wagoner is leaving with a lovely severance package– part of his contract []
  2. Why didn’t Wagoner have to leave without his goddamned bonus? []
  3. If they did the “smart” thing and invested []
  4. Full disclosure: I’m a computer programmer in training at the local university. []
  5. As if there was ever a lot of choices inside of our states. []
  6. Those of us who live in the Rust Belt and who will be directly affected by these “concessions” []
  7. My family is lucky for now. I have no idea what our situation will be in a few months. We’re not union. But we empathize with those that are immediately affected. []
  8. Who cares about the working class as long as we can still get cheap shit from China, anyway? []

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Let Them Go, Please

It looks like Chuck Norris (yes, that Chuck Norris) and Glenn Beck1 are attempting to lead a new American Revolution. Apparently, Chuck even wants to be President of Texas. Looks like the crazy secessionists and militia-types have their national leaders now and they can finally start shooting people.

And by the looks of those comments in the first linked article those people are probably brown, Jewish, women with strong political voices and/or college educated LIE-BER-ALS2.

At any rate, I stopped reading my hometown paper because the crazy was infecting the comments section. I did not realize that our brand of crazy is so tame compared to the real crazy drifting to the top of this economic mudpit. But from reading what these people are saying, it’s not about the economy– unless they are so angry because they’ve lost their jobs and homes. It’s that they don’t accept that Obama is the duly elected president and there is no other way of getting him out of office3. Chuck Norris and Glenn Beck (gods curse their souls) are feeding on that irrational hatred and fear. Norris is probably is true believer– Beck is a media whore who’s trying to be the new Limbaugh.

From the Examiner:

The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.

Holy shitballs! He wants to take Texas and cut it the fuck out of the Union. I say “Go for it”, Chuckie! More power to you. Our country’s overall stats for killing people on death row will go down, our national I.Q. will probably go up4, and we’ll be done with you and Dubya for all of eternity. Well, until your new “countrymen” realize you suck ass as a President and they decide they want to be back in the good ol’ U.S.A. Good riddance to you, I say.

People like to claim that they’re pissed off about the stimulus and giving money to big corporations, but where were these same complaints when these same corporations were getting huge tax breaks (”welfare”)? Where were the complaints when companies were shutting their doors here and moving over there? Where were these complaints when companies like Halliburton were getting paid billions for jobs they weren’t even doing? These same people who are threatening rebellion didn’t have much to say about all of that. The “leaders” were getting fat off the pork from the government and they liked it. Now there’s a new administration and regular people are going to benefit from government “waste” and suddenly they care? Right.

The funniest thing about this stimulus brouhaha is that the country’s top economists are saying that there isn’t enough money being spent and they can’t be heard because the idiots with the microphones are doing all they can to shout loud enough to get the lessers stirred up. They use words like “welfare” to describe money being given to the states and laugh at words like “infrastructure”. The least intelligent among us hear their dog whistles and start screaming with them while the sensible people are drowned out5.

In the comments of my hometown paper there are a group of Birthers/naysayers that have nothing but scorn for Obama and the stimulus. Even as the headlines proclaim Ohio is getting millions and my hometown is up for a piece of that pie, they yell about waste. A few of us have piped up to try to make them understand that without jobs people can’t make money which means they can’t spend money and they have to go elsewhere to try to survive– taking their potential with them. They don’t hear it. Money is being given to the states by the feds which means that money is bad and is welfare and to hell with the people that can benefit from those jobs6.

My hometown is going to take that money and do some work on their infrastructure. They’re going to improve the street drainage system (which is a big point of contention considering they flood every time it rains– and the complainers complain)), widen some roads and work on the electrical grid (which causes a lot of grief during the rain, too). These projects require people to do them. That means employing local men and women– people who have probably lost good paying jobs elsewhere and who desperately need the money these new jobs will provide. These folks will then have money to keep their houses (real estate taxes will be paid), buy local goods and services (sales taxes will be paid) and will stay in the area with their hard-earned money. That will help the local economy which is exactly what the stimulus is supposed to do7.

So, I say let these idiots secede. That’s more money and jobs for the rest of us. Let them fend for themselves in their own little utopia and let the rest of enjoy a country free of their incessant bleating. They can have Texas (and Oklahoma, if they want) and we can get back to healing this country of the wounds left by Dubya et al. Let the crybabies cry and let the rest of us move on with our lives.

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Sphere: Related Content

  1. I spit on the man. []
  2. Not necessarily all combined, or in that order, of course. []
  3. Lefties always hoped for impeachment. []
  4. No offense, Monique Renae, but you know… []
  5. And this doesn’t even count the fuckheads who are still yelling that Obama isn’t a U.S. citizen. Good fucking grief… []
  6. Not likely to be the loudest complainers because those people are likely retired or haven’t held a job for years because they’re quite obviously mentally unbalanced. []
  7. I DO NOT agree with the whole stimulus, but I’m not an economist and don’t know the whole BIG picture with regards to the whole package. []

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

A Class I Should Just Drop

**This post was started Tuesday but I was consistently interrupted and so stopped working on it. So, two days ago was Fat Tuesday. Today is not. OK? ****

Today, for those of you out of the loop, is Fat Tuesday. Today we’re all supposed to party like it’s 1999 so that tomorrow we can decide to not do something for the Lent season. Or something like that. You know, sacrifice your vice type stuff. Of course, for those that are Catholic it means something totally different, but I’m not Catholic so I really don’t know what that different is.

So, I was thinking of what I could give up for Lent (even though I’m not Catholic) and thought “Aha! Politics!” So, my plan was to block all of my favorite political sites and be done with them for a few weeks. Mwahaha!!

Yeah, right.

Anyway, that was until my history professor with his doctorate decided to be a stupid ass again1 . I’m seriously considering dropping that class. So, tonight Tuesday after we watched a stupid “documentary” (which wasn’t) he decided to tell us how the relations between the U.S. and China are starting to resemble those of Britain and China just prior to the Opium Wars. He asserted that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was going to go to China next week2 to ask China for a loan so that the Obama administration could fund the stimulus package thus putting the U.S. in massive debt to China.

He failed to mention– this Mr. I’ve-got-a-doctorate-in-history — that the U.S. debt to China predates Obama and is already nearly $700 billion. Let’s look at some evidence, shall we?3

This article in the New Yorker was published in April 2005. Before Obama and before the Democrats took control of Congress.

[…]Doomsayers have been predicting for a while that the profligacy will lead to serious trouble. So why hasn’t it?

One answer is that Asia won’t let it. Last year, Asian countries invested almost four hundred billion dollars in the United States, mostly in government bonds. China is effectively taking most of its excess national savings and lending it to the United States. The Japanese, who despite their creaking economy remain flush with savings, bought a quarter trillion dollars of American debt last year, even though the interest is lousy and the assets themselves are losing value. More than any other nation in history, the United States depends, economically, on the kindness of strangers. Right now, Asian investors appear very kind.

I’m sorry, StupidProfPants, you were saying?

But wait! There’s more. What would happen were China and Japan to suddenly decide that they just don’t love us anymore and stop investing in the U.S.?

Of course, the Chinese and the Japanese could decide that the costs of the falling dollar are too great, and suddenly stop (or, at least, cut back sharply) their lending to the United States. This would lead to a so-called “hard landing” for the U.S. economy: high inflation, punitive interest rates, collapsing stock prices and housing prices. It would also lead to bedlam for China and Japan. Their best customers would effectively be unable to afford their wares. To paraphrase John Paul Getty: If you owe the bank a hundred dollars, you’ve got a problem. If you owe the bank three trillion dollars, the bank’s got a problem.

If China decided to pull out all interest in U.S. Treasury bonds, our economy– and theirs — would collapse. Completely. We’re pretty much dependent on each other. At least we were in 2005 before Clinton became Secretary of State and went to beg for money.

But did she do that? Hm, I guess that would depend on your own interpretation. Mine is: No. She was asking the Chinese to continue to invest in the United States so that our fragile economy wouldn’t go further into the toilet as well as recognizing our mutual dependency on each other (but mostly our dependency on them because they’re the ones loaning all the money).

According to Bloomberg:

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton urged China to continue buying Treasury bonds to help finance President Barack Obama’s stimulus plan.

The two nations’ economies are intertwined and it wouldn’t be in China’s interest if the U.S. were unable to sell its government debt, Clinton said in an interview with Shanghai’s Dragon Television today. China knows it needs a healthy American economy as its biggest export market, she said, adding that the U.S. must take “drastic measures” to stimulate growth.

“We are truly going to rise or fall together,” Clinton said. “By continuing to support American treasury instruments, the Chinese are recognizing” that interconnection.

Further:

China, the largest holder of U.S. government debt, boosted purchases by 46 percent last year to a record $696.2 billion as the global recession spurred demand for the securities. The Chinese government said last week it plans to keep buying Treasuries, adding that future purchases will depend on the preservation of their value and the safety of the investment.

China already owns us– pretty much. And that happened before Obama took office. We’ve been borrowing from them for years– mostly to fund Operation Iraqi Freedom and the “War on Terror”. This is not the O-man’s doing. Luckily for us, Americans are the top purchasers of Chinese products. Wal-Mart shits out “Made in China” and we scoop it up. If we don’t have money to buy that shit, China doesn’t make any money and BOOM! We’re all fucked.

My professor, who is looking more and more like a Glenn Beck ass licker every day, failed to mention that, of course. Our class consists of a good number of PSE4 kids and do they know any better? No. Of course. They think he knows what the fuck he’s talking about. He lays down these little pieces of GOP talking points and hopes beyond hope that these kids pick it up and it sinks in their brains. And they aren’t going to question him because they don’t know any better.

But he didn’t realize I would be in his class and that I can’t keep my mouth shut. He never thought that there would be that one person in his class that would say:
“Excuse me? Could you cite your source for that? Because the United States has been in debt to China for years and that didn’t start with the Obama administration.”

Of course, this didn’t invite conversation. Suddenly class was over and he’d see us on Thursday. That was probably a good thing as I remembered that we’re in debt, but didn’t remember the details. I’ve since amassed good deal of source material so that I can (hopefully) bash him over the head with it.((I probably won’t. He won’t bring it up in class again– just like the Mexico thing.)) I hope he knows now that not everyone in that class is ignorant and that some of us are vaguely familiar with what’s going on regarding American foreign policy and politics.

P.S.
Please excuse any and all typos as I’m being me and that’s just the way things roll ’round here.

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Sphere: Related Content

  1. Last time was when he declared that Mexico is not part of North America– and stood by that. []
  2. Clinton has already been to Asia. []
  3. But only a little bit, because I’m short on time. []
  4. Post-Secondary Education = High school []

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Look What I Missed

I’ve sucked lately. No, not TheMan. I’ve just had some stuff that I was dealing with and have lost my way. Well, not really lost. I’ve just not really felt the desire to post or comment. Because…

First, I need to let those who don’t read me (usually) know that I get all over the blogosphere. I do the political thing, I do the SEO thing (I read the stupid drama there, because Mwahahaha!!), the personal thing and the EC thing. It’s all good fare for moi.

Anyway, I got back into action and HOLY SHITBALLS™1! There’s a lot of flippin’ drama going on. Now, if you know me, you know I love the drama. Usually I just read it and laugh my not-so-petite ass off. I will readily admit that I have no life and so the drama amuses me. Now, if I think that a blogfriend is being effected by said drama, I will happily jump my ass into it- even if it doesn’t involve me. Why? Did you miss the part about me not having a life?

Dramatic Internet Happening #1

Anyway, for some reason2 I decided to visit some old haunts today. These old haunts are places that a certain off-the-grid friend and I used to go to point and laugh. I guess I just missed to good ol’ days. So, there I was reading snide innuendos and wondering what the fuck people are talking about. Of course, I have to do some investigating. Dur3. Seems I’ve been missing a lot of good shit.

Some dude (some of you know who) met some chick via the blogodrama. Dude was married to another woman. Dude met chick at a blog meetup. Dude and chick fell “madly” in love. Dude left wife to go live with chick in another state. Dude and chick broadcast their love affair on their blogs4 and all their blog buds are all happy for them. Anyway, Dude and chick are lovey-dovey in their new home they just bought in this other state. On the 10th Dude and chick decide to go back to Dude’s home state to take care of business. On the 11th Dude announces on his blog that he and his wife are back together and he’s taking a break. Chick makes no such announcement on her blog. There is no further explanation.

Shit fire, their blog friends are going nuts! One side is all “I’m on your side as long as your happy”…blah blah blah. The other side is “You dick! How could you do that to us?” And me? I’m like “That’s some soap opera shit right there.” At any rate, some of the friends apparently think they deserve an explanation. The other friends think this guy should do whatever he wants. Not a whole lot of them think about what Mrs. Dude is going through, of course. I’m thinking she should just kick his ass out and let the vultures have him. But then, I’m one of those kinds of people that doesn’t broadcast every little detail of my life for the entire Intertubes to see. That’s just me though. What do I know?

I don’t have an opinion one way or the other about this affair. I don’t know what’s going on in Dude’s marriage. I think, though, that he was a stupid motherfucker for making the entire thing public. I think his wife deserved better than to have to read how he and Chick were fucking and doing whatever. I think that if he was going to do this, then some fucking TACT would have been in order. But… that’s just me. Who am I?

During those travels, I also reinforced my belief to stay pseudonymous. Seems that a somewhat popular blogger (if you don’t have at least 150 comments or a pr of 7 then you’re only “somewhat” popular, ok?) likes to out people he doesn’t agree with. Seems this dude will befriend people and then POOF! just like that he announces to the world who they are. That’s fucked up shit right there. And anyone that does that should be mocked.5

Just my opinion, of course.6

Dramatic Internet Happening #2

Seems there was some “censorship” in the EC forums. Apparently some dude (Scratchin’ Sniff?) didn’t like the EC powerdroppers7 so he made a post. Powerdroppers told him something he didn’t like. So then the Admins made a forum just for people to use for bitching (or whatever). You can read the details here. I think. Anyway

Seems that a moderator went through and deleted and/or modified existing posts. I said in a comment over there that I don’t believe that’s it’s complete censorship, because real censorship is not being able to voice your opinion anywhere and I truly believe that. However, when the moderator (Lee Doyle, apparently) modified comments, I decided that he’s as fucked up as a certain raving lunatic that I know who also modifies comments (on his blog, though, not in forums). I also think it’s fucked up that apparently Graham agrees with what he did.

Look, I believe that a private forum (and EC forums is private) should have a ToS8 and that everyone participating in that forum should abide by the ToS. However, the forums should have an OBVIOUS ToS that the members to follow. When there are rules established, in writing or because of previous understanding, then the mods are expected to enforce them. The ToS NEEDS to be understood from the get. When rules are established after the fact, then shit will probably fucking hit the fan.

In this case, the rules changed mid-stream and the shit hit the fan, which resulted in some very popular members being “suspended”. That’s just wrong on so many levels. It’s wrong because the members were following the already established rules, bending over backwards to follow the new rules, and having to shut the fuck up while the PowerMad Mod went nuts. Of course, that mod is now on a “break’ but still…

Of course, I had to weigh in. Hello! I’m one of those ranting “YOU GO” girls (happily named by a certain Sam dude). I don’t so mind rules. I’ll follow them happily. I fucking hate when people edit and/or delete opinions that don’t sit well with them. That’s cowardly pissant shit.

Just my opinion, of course.

Popularity: 82% [?]


Sphere: Related Content

  1. Courtesy of Schad, of course []
  2. I’m stupid. []
  3. See: no life []
  4. Can you imagine what his wife, who had access to his blog, must have been thinking? []
  5. I also learned who Sassy Sadie and Vicious Vikki are. []
  6. URLs available to trusted peeps upon request []
  7. Who really cares how people drop cards? I certainly don’t. []
  8. Terms of Service for those who are brain dead. []
jennyjinx

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.