So, I’m working on this project and looking around at some different tech sites for various tools⁴. I love reading web tech information. I love how tutorials are generally written and I love how straight forward the folks who comment are. Most of what I’ve seen has been written by men, which it typical because most coders (I’ve noticed in my wanderings) seem to be male. That’s fine with me. I knew that my chosen field was pretty male dominated when I decided to get into it.

I do notice, though, that most of the tech males⁵ that I encounter seem to take me a lot less seriously because I’m female. If I pretend to be a male online I seem to get a lot more respect from community members. Not so much if they know I’m not carrying my reproductive organs on the outside of my body. I was slightly irritated about that the other day when I had a discussion with my friend. He suggested that perhaps I adopt a masculine pseudonym while working online and, well, I’m seriously considering it. Just because I don’t want to be given the brush off just only because of my gender– and that has happened to me a couple of notable times in the very recent past.

This only became an issue with me on a personal level because I’ve noticed that I’m expected, as a female, to behave a certain way. And if I don’t behave that way then I’m perceived in a negative light. I’m more straight-forward than most people appreciate from a woman and that’s gotten me into problems– to the point that I’ve considered prefacing everything I say with “I’m sorry…” just to get that shit out of the way. Women are expected to be more gentle and “considerate”⁶ whereas men are supposed to be more direct when dealing with issues. Women aren’t perceived to be able to function well when faced with technical issues because our brains aren’t supposed to process that information. Though my brain does process that information a little differently than my male colleagues⁷ it does process the information. In fact, my brain loves that information.

I love to solve puzzles. I imagine that most people who get into coding or research or math or forensics feel the same way. They see a problem and want to find a way to fix it. Actually, I guess I could go further than the more “intellectual” areas and say that carpenters, plumbers, mechanics and others of that stripe love to solve puzzles– for the same reason I’ve already mentioned. We are at point A and need to be at point C, so how do we get there? The areas that I’ve mentioned are male dominated, but they aren’t populated solely by males. Females too find a field in which they can solve a puzzle– or many puzzles– on a regular basis because we love it and our brains thrive on the challenges.

But our efforts aren’t taken as seriously as the efforts of our male counterparts. Because of the stereotypes. And it goes beyond the work force. Socially we’re expected to behave differently⁸. I’ve learned to deal with that a bit better. I’m not very big on sugar coating things. I don’t know if that’s a personality defect as some have said⁹ but that’s the way I am. I say what I mean without the bullshit– sometimes to my detriment but sometimes because the bullshit needs to be end¹⁰. This is me– take it or leave it. It’s not so easy to say that in a professional setting.

I’m excited about this new opportunity. I’m really passionate about what I’m doing. Considering what’s gone on in my life the last year and some odd months, I’ve been really blessed to come onto a project like this. It just really pisses me off that I’m actually considering a masculine pseudonym so that my abilities will be taken more seriously. It pisses me off because this shouldn’t even be a consideration. The reality, though, is that I might have to do that so that what needs to be done will be done without me having to prove myself every single time. What a load of shit that is.

It’s also steeled my resolve to not be that stereotypical woman and to be exactly who I am. To all those whose feelings will inevitably be hurt because I don’t behave as you believe a woman should behave, I apologize preemptively.

1. It’s doubling as a school project and yes, he knows that.
2. I’m going to use it in my portfolio, of course.
3. Especially after everything that happened just prior to that invitation.
4. Exactly what I’m looking for and what I’m talking about isn’t important.
5. Not all of them are men, by the way.
6. Intentional use of quotes there.
7. Can I use that word yet?
8. And men, of course, are supposed to be grunting, out-of-control, meat-eating Neanderthals.
9. Or a disability as some others have said.
10. I think I’ve gotten even more direct and less tolerant of crap since I’ve been online, but mostly it’s because I’m too old for it

Does it matter?

Click the link to find out.

I’ve already experienced this to a certain degree with my tech related courses at school. Not to the point of violence, of course, but I’ve been treated as if I have fluff for brains- even though I’ve passed all of those courses with an “A”. It wasn’t until I became “bitchy” (more assertive) that some of my classmates took me seriously. Still, the one dude on my workgroup team always seems to brush me off when I’m the team leader. Hmmph.

In other news, you can now find me on FriendFeed;
http://friendfeed.com/jennyjinx

And I’ve been on Twitter for almost a year and only have 17 tweets. My bad. You can follow me here if you want.

Finally, I’m looking for a guest blogger or two (for experimental reasons). Someone mentioned in the EC forums that they would like to guest post somewhere and I offered up my joint. The caveat was (and is) no pornography and no conservative talking points. I haven’t heard back from dude, so I don’t know if he’s still interested. Anyway, I thought it would be a fun thing to do, so if you’re interested use the contact page and let me know (unless you have my direct email and I KNOW YOU, then just use that). Humor and/or liberal politics only please.

Ok, that’s all. I’ve got kids to beat.

One of my classes this semester is called “Workgroup Productivity”. It’s a required course, or I would so not have taken it. Anyway, we’re supposed to be learning the be productive members of a group. Duh! And since the course in online, we’re grouped with members from all over the state¹ and we’ve never met each other. Probably will never meet each other. Anyway, we’re supposed to start a “business” and create a website for said business. Together. As a team. Duh.

So, the prof set each team up with their own forum to keep in contact. We’re supposed to use that for all discussion. Then she posts our assignments. The first assignment is to simply pick a team leader for this assignment, decide what kind of company we’re going to have, make a logo and slogan, and send her a report. Good enough. One dude and me were discussing some options when another dude pops in and says “We’re going to do an online record label and we’re going to call it this. Oh, and I’m the team leader.” WTF?

Unfortunately I’m not beside him so am unable to slap him in the back of the head. Little bastard. I’m sure he completely missed the part where he only gets to be the “leader” (which means squat in this context) for this project. And that we have to rotate. I bet he’s going to cry when he realizes it.

The other guy, by the way, has two websites he’s already developed. One of them has auto-play music and really bad graphics. The other just looks like blog theme without the blogging stuff. I looked at his source code and it was a mess. I wanted to say “Hey, little dweebs, I’ve got my own site too. Check it out!” and then laugh while their eyeballs popped out of their heads. But then my cover would be blown, so I refrained. I’ll have to keep an eye on these “coders” though to make sure they don’t fucker everything up. If it comes right down to it I might drive to their campuses and smack them in their heads anyway.

Anyway, I can see our site now. A fucking black background with white text and auto-play music. I’m ashamed already.

1. I go to Kent State, ok? There. Another clue.

Here we go:

1. I used to be a Metal Head. My favorite group was The Scorpions, and my first concert ever was Monsters of Rock back in ’87 (it was on my 14^th birthday). I even met Klaus Mein (Scorpions lead singer).
2. I love “Spongebob Squarepants”. What more can I say?
3. I have learned the proper way to say “LOLcats”. LOW-L. Matt Cutt said it in this video (at 11:22. It’s a long video and if you’re not interested in SEO, don’t watch the whole thing).
4. I can speak a little French, Spanish, and German. But not enough to hold a conversation.
5. When I was 14 I ran away and lived in Florida for 9 months (with a grown man and his family). I had a fake social security number with a fake name (Amparo Gomez).
6. I’m not as confident as I pretend to be.
7. I have let men lick my belly button.:) (Back when I was young, single, and oh-so cute.)
8. My children were all born on rainy Wednesdays.
9. I miss my old friends from Canton. A lot.
10. My dream home would be located in Savannah, Georgia.

I had a really tough time with this one. The only reason is that I have a tough time with self-reflection. I realize that I’m not supposed to get too in depth or give TMI, but sometimes I have a tendency to just tell all. Oops. Curbing my typing fingers was hard.

So, I’m supposed to tag other people. I tag Paula, Lucy, Awaiting, Vince, Sour Grapes and Eden.

Here are other people that have been tagged by O’Tim. Keep aon eye for their posts.

• Joe the Troll
• Jen (O’Tim’s better half)

and

• Cheezy

P.S.
I haven’t been doing so well lately, so I’ll probably go back into hiding. I don’t want to be a whiner, so…