Another Teenage Mom

Last night I found out my 16 year-old niece is pregnant. She put her ultrasound up on Instagram. She announced her “bean” will be here in December and her family helpfully congratulated her on her news. Congratulated her for becoming a teenage mother. Is no one explaining to that child what kind of life she can expect? How hard it will be for both her and the child? No. I can almost guarantee that no one will sit her down and talk to her about the new reality she is facing.

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Because Someone Asked

My good friend asked me (via Twitter) to tell her what’s going on in my life. So I came here to see if I’d done this anytime recently. Except for my post about Biff, I guess I haven’t. My life is pretty uninteresting nowadays and most people that read this blog don’t give two hoots about what’s happening with my job.

Now, I did think I had a draft about my shitty employer (but thank the gods I have a job and am making some dollahs1 where so many people are not working) but I seem to have deleted it or maybe I didn’t save it or whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’s not there. Spooky…

Anyway, about my life…

!!CAUTION: Whining and Bitching ahead!!!

The Finances

I told some people somewhere that TheMan has been laid off. I’m pretty sure it’s on this very blog, but I’m not looking. So, he got laid off temporarily in January and then permanently at the end of March. That meant that we were going to survive on his unemployment and my tips (and sorry ass $3.65 an hour). So, we went to the Employment Source website and followed their sorry instructions on how to reopen the claim. We couldn’t figure the shit out so he called their number and spoke to some woman who gave us the wrong fucking directions. That led us to being denied for that week—which we appealed.

A couple of weeks later we get an extra payment deposited in the bank. This means that our appeal was granted and we were allowed to have that money. Right? WRONG. Big fat fucking wrong.

Two days later2 we get some mail from those shitty motherfuckers. Our appeal was denied and we were to pay them back that money. If we thought we were getting screwed then, of course we could appeal and we also could call them to set up payment installments so as not to lose our entire week. So, we appealed. But we couldn’t call.

Because we got the fucking notice on Friday after their offices were closed.

TheMan calls on Monday to set up the arrangements until we hear about our newest appeal. Guess what? Those shitty motherfuckers had already taken this week’s check. They didn’t even give us enough time to arrange a repayment schedule. So now we don’t get paid this week either. Motherfuckers.

But wait, there’s more…

So, this is going on and we get a notice stating that our insurance is cancelled but we’re allowed to do the whole COBRA thing. For a mere $920 a month we can keep our insurance for 90 more days. Well, of course we don’t have that kind of money and so our insurance lapses. But there’s a notice on the board at my job. Open enrollment has arrived and we have until May 20th to sign up. Then I get a postcard in the mail telling me I qualify for open enrollment—it’s got my name on it and everything. I follow the directions, get the packet from my manager and then go home and enroll online.

The webpage says that I’m good as soon as they take money out of my check—which will be the next pay day. Whee! I’m excited. I need my medication to get around every day and I need to be able to keep in touch with my doc. All is good.

Until I check my paystub. No deductions for insurance.

Go to work and find out that as a server I don’t qualify for the insurance. There’s a lot more to that about why servers don’t qualify, but I’m not going to go into that. I want to know why the fuck I got that stupid postcard and why that notice was posted in the service area of my work. Of course, no one tells me34 and they act like I should’ve used my psychic powers to figure it out. Just lovely.

Which had led me to seek new employment with a company that does allow their servers some kind of insurance—Applebee’s. Just an FYI if you care about which companies give a flying fuck about the people taking your order when you eat out.


The Family

Lil’ Miss has turned 18 and moved out. She decided that if she had to follow rules, help clean the house and generally respect the members of this household, she was going to be the head of her own home. So, she saved up money and grabbed some tax refund and off she went. Did I mention she moved in with her fiancé? Yeah, she did.

She’s been out about a month now and is doing well. We actually get along better this way because we don’t fight for control. She’s seeing how tough it is to live on your own, though and that’s giving her a lot of grief. Every so often she’ll call me asking for some financial assistance and I help her out if I can. We bought her some groceries and some other things5, but her bills are all getting paid on time and she’s even managing to save a bit here and there for her own car.

When she first moved out I was worried that she would be back within a month. So far I’m way wrong and I’m happy about that. She’ll be graduating at the end of next month—which worried me and again I was proved wrong—and then she’s going to start college in the fall. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she keeps on doing so well. She may have actually learned something from all of those lectures while she was growing up. I certainly hope so. I’m really very proud of her right now.

TheMan and I are doing ok. Not fantastic. We’re still recovering from his infidelity. Every so often I want to smack him right in the mouth just because I have a flashback of when and how I found out. I don’t do that, of course. The point is that the rage is still there every so often. I’m not sure how that’s going to work out in the long run, but right now we have other things to worry about and that takes most of my time. We do a lot with Lil’lady, who has taken over her sister’s old room and declared herself a “growed lady”. I have some pictures of our latest outing somewhere and might post them eventually (at least to my flickr).

There’s a whole other post brewing about the extended family. They suck donkey balls and I’m not in the least bit happy with any of them. There’s a lot of whining involved with that shit too, but this post is getting so god-awful long that I don’t want to include it right now.


Meh. Semester is over in two weeks. No fabulously hawt professors to keep me interested.

Good News

I’m still alive and kicking. Does that count?

Also I bought a new Dell Hybrid, which I didn’t really need but for which I’ve been pining for months6. How? Well, here’s a funny story:

One night I was minding my own business, playing Mafia Wars of some such shit7 and Lil’ Miss calls me. She tells me that her dad called her and is pissed because the government took $2500 of his tax refund for back child support. I was all like “Wha..?” I hadn’t checked the child support payment since September or October. I didn’t know anything about a huge chunk of changing sitting in that account.

So, I called the number on the back of the card and the robot-lady tells me that $800 was deposited in my account on December 8, 2008. Again I’m all like “Wha..?” I’m pissed that I didn’t know about that money before this. I certainly could have used it at Christmas time. Didn’t these people send notices anymore?

Then I get to thinking. I have $800 that no one but me knows about. It’s all mine. I rub my hands together gleefully then glare ominously at my old, worn-out computer. “You are so toast!” I tell it. Then I go online to my employers employee portal8 and click on their Dell account. I pick out my computer. I purchase my computer. I laugh hysterically.

Immediately the guilt sets in. Fuck! We can’t afford a computer—even if it was only $500. Dammit! I thought seriously about cancelling the order. I paced. I chewed my finger nails. I sat down. I stood up. Then I decided to tell my husband what I’d done so he’d get pissed and demand I return it, saving me from the pain of making that decision.

He said to me:

“Good for you. You need something nice. Can I get a grill?”


5 days later FedEx shows up and I have my new computer. Like a kid waiting for Santa, I threw open the door and clapped my hands. Pathetic. Then Lil’lady and I opened, set it up and we’ve been enjoying it every since.

And, no, I don’t feel guilty about it anymore.

Ok, that’s all that I can get into with one longer-than-life, TLDR post.

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Sphere: Related Content

  1. Intentionally spelled that way, grammar/spelling freaks. []
  2. Friday []
  3. yet another post about their lack of respect for FOH employees []
  4. FOH = Front of House []
  5. Most of their furniture is from us, actually. []
  6. The emerald one, of course. []
  7. My addiction to which can be laid squarely at O’Tim’s feet. []
  8. Where I’d signed up for fucking insurance. []

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  • I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

    The Little Storm That Could

    It was a dark and stormy night. The remnants of Hurricane Ike were blowing hither and fro- even the little birdies couldn’t stay perched in their trees. Whoosh! Bam! Zoom! It was a sight to behold. But there was work to be done and assignments were due. I retired to my computer room to embark on the journey to an “A”.

    Then the children called me to the porch. I saved my work and joined them to witness the amazing force of Ike’s baby winds. We were all duly impressed as we’d never before been visited by a hurricane in BFE, OH. That’s when it happened. The ever-present hum of electricity stopped dead. The power was out.


    That was Sunday night about 6:15pm. I cursed and hollered but was sure the power would soon be restored. I was wrong. Sunday night rolled in and we busted out the candles and oil lamps. Then Monday morning rolled around and we went to find bags of ice (and coffee). Then we headed out to lunch. I had until midnight to finish my project and was sure I had plenty of time. The power would be turned on soon.

    We turned the radio on to hear how bad the damage was. Trees were literally uprooted and had landed on houses. One poor guy was driving under a tree when it decided to keel over- right on top of his brand new car. 300,000 AEP customers were shit out of luck. Estimated time to get the lights back on: 7 days.

    Holy shitballs!

    I high tailed it to the library and emailed my professor. I couldn’t even borrow a laptop because most people don’t have Visual Studio installed. And I couldn’t get to the school quite yet because, well, my kids needed me. Didn’t she understand? Could I please have an extension? “Sure”, she wrote back, “You have until Wednesday.” Fuck! I didn’t even know if the power would be back on by then.

    That night we played games that I imagine the Amish play. I told long, drawn out stories that didn’t have any real end. The kids fell asleep and I sat on the porch willing the power company to get to my house RIGHT NOW. It didn’t work. We were screwed. Thank the heavens for the lamps.

    The next day we all got up and went for breakfast. Every school in the county was closed. The country kids couldn’t get to school because of fallen trees and wires. Apparently this was the worst storm in AEP history (I have no idea how long that is). Still they were saying “7 days”. Dur. It was already almost 2. What the hell? I went to school for my morning class but didn’t actually go to class. Screw that guy. He gets on my damned nerves anyway. I found an open computer and attempted to do my project. I only had until noon. Sadly, I didn’t get very far and had to give up.

    That night I went to Millie’s to do some laundry (she had power on Monday). Lil’lady and I were like fiends getting a fix while we watched television. It was a truly pathetic sight to behold. When we went home I was happily surprised to see the left side of my street alight. Whoo-hoo! The nightmare was over1. My excitement was quickly dampened when I looked at the door bell. There was no light. We had no power.

    When I went inside I fumbled around for some light and was cursing the neighbors. A few houses up, on my side of the street, a street light mocked me with it’s brightness. I contemplated making a sling shot and shooting it out. It was so unfair! My next thought was to go invite myself to the neighbor’s house. I don’t know them, they don’t know me, but dammit we were in a crisis situation! I decided against the violence and intrusion and went up to bed. Some more stories and a sleeping pill made all right with us. I was convinced Wednesday morning would be like Christmas and I would wake to glorious electricity running through my house.

    I was wrong. We went to breakfast again and then back home2. We found things to do together, things that no family should have to endure. “My Little Pony Memory” and “Trivia Pursuit”. And who really wants to sit in the back yard and draw pictures? We’re not barbarians, dammit! We actually had conversations and shared thoughts. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced. Where was my beloved Twitter?

    As suddenly as it happened, it was over. At 1:56pm the lights came back on. The kids cheered and I wept with joy. We were saved! It was a beautiful thing. I spent a few minutes hugging the television and then decided it was time to attempt that damned project. I only wanted to catch up on the politics and my soaps! The cruelty!

    I was going between reading blogs and doing actual work when it was time for math class. I was able to go in a good mood, so my mind was able to process the numbers and equations. I was once again able to lose myself in looking at my prof’s…numbers. My world was right again.

    When I got home that night I went back to working on my project. Millie had taken Lil’lady, so I was able to stick my ear buds in and lose myself in my mp3 player. I was typing merrily along- with only the occasional banging of the head against the desk – when the lights started to flicker. Double fuck! Lil’ Miss ran in and asked me what was happening. Were aliens descending? No, it was happening again. We were being thrown back into the dark ages.

    The lights went off. We were resigned to more days of bleak darkness and gathered up the lamps and candles. We got comfortable for another night of closeness as I silently cursed AEP and whichever Republican was responsible for Ike. Lil’ Miss shared that she was able to finish a whole book. I wondered aloud if I still had the ability to process more than 140 characters at a time. And then- just like that!- our lights came back.

    And the sharing was over. Thank the gods we had our technology again and could go back to allowing our brains to slowly rot in our skulls.


    I turned in my project on time, but the bitch still docked me points. WTF?

    I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

    Now That We’re Through with The Crap

    I’m currently pretending that psychos aren’t stalking and threatening me because I won a debate. Ok, well, not currently. But yesterday and today I had a BLAST out in the real world.

    Yesterday we went to a picnic. This one was family oriented1 so we took the chillins. OMG, Lil’lady was hilarious. Now that she’s reached the ripe old age of (three plus one— shh!) she does a whole lot of talking. Since there were 200-300 people there, she had a lot of people to talk to. The funniest, though, was when she went up to a little Amish girl and told her:
    “When our electricity goes out we’re going to be Amish and my mommy’s going to make me a blue dress.”

    Yesterday we went to a picnic. This one was family oriented1 so we took the chillins. OMG, Lil’lady was hilarious. Now that she’s reached the ripe old age of (three plus one— shh!) she does a whole lot of talking. Since there were 200-300 people there, she had a lot of people to talk to. The funniest, though, was when she went up to a little Amish girl and told her:
    “When our electricity goes out we’re going to be Amish and my mommy’s going to make me a blue dress.”

    Holy shitballs! Oops.

    A little history for this hilarity:
    A couple of weeks ago our electric went out for a few hours. Lil’lady, being the rather timid creature that she is, insisted that we light some candles and go sit on the front porch. Apparently she believes that we must retreat to the outdoors whenever the power goes out2. So, we’re sitting on the front porch and listening to the drunk neighbors across the street. It was rather peaceful (regardless) and Lil’lady asked me to tell her a story. Not very good at fiction, I started regaling her with tales from my youth. One story that stuck out to her was when I stayed with my cousins in the summer.

    My cousins lived in a small town smack-dab in the middle of Amish Country (Ohio for those of you gathering information). A really nice Amish family lived on a farm at the bottom of my cousins’ hill. They had a little girl named Mardella. Mardella and I got to be really good friends3 and I was able to go inside her home, ride in the family buggy, was invited to dinner and helped tend the horses. My experiences with Mardella and her family made for great memories and I shared some of those with Lil’lady.

    Lil’lady, of course, didn’t understand why the Amish are different. So I explained that they don’t have electricity, televisions, telephones, cars, etc. Of course, that led to more questions as she is (three plus one) and more stories and more… Well, you know how kids her age can be.

    Something about that conversation must have stuck in her head, because she was completely enthralled by the Amish folks at the picnic and couldn’t wait to make a new friend. Little did she know that her enthusiasm would cause her poor, dear mother much embarrassment. Later we discussed why we weren’t going to become Amish- but after we took a ride in an Amish buggy.

    Today was a 21 and over which meant Al Kee Hall was going to be there. Woo-hoo! I was excited to be going where no children could follow. It’s been a while since I was able to escape the confines of motherhood joyous sound of my children. This was especially nice because they had an open bar with two kegs and lots of Seagram’s4. So, TheMan and I had our required hotdog then went straight for Al.

    Of course, I couldn’t remember if it was “Beer before liquor never sicker” or “Liquor before beer never sicker” so I had a beer first. Then I said fuck it and went for the hard stuff. But not too much. Just enough to…

    Get my ass shakin’ on the dance floor! WOOT! We were boot scootin’ and booty callin’ and it was suh-weet. It’s been a long time since I went dancing5 and I was loving it. There weren’t very many women as young as me6 which should tell you something, but those ladies could get down. No lie. They were shakin’ it like it was 1975. It was hilarious.

    Well, it was until that dudette got up to karaoke to Patsy Cline. She started wailin’ about standing by her man and I just had to go have another drink. For real. That shit was painful to hear.

    Luckily, when she was done some old dude got up to sing that Lee Greenwood song7, so Patsy was soon pushed out of my head8 by fantasies of stuffing a dog down dude’s gullet. It was a joyous moment. More Seagrams please!

    Did I mention that we got there at 3pm? Yeah.

    After a couple of laps around the picnic in the (line of people going around the room?) TheMan finally pulled me out. It was time to go. Bah! I was having a good time too. Oh well, he was smart. If we’d have stayed longer I would have gotten really plastered and then embarrassed myself either there or online. I’m good like that. ;)

    After a couple of laps around the picnic in the (line of people going around the room?) TheMan finally pulled me out. It was time to go. Bah! I was having a good time too. Oh well, he was smart. If we’d have stayed longer I would have gotten really plastered and then embarrassed myself either there or online. I’m good like that. ;)

    We went to see his dad and stepmom and watched some “Bridezillas” with them. That was really funny while I was buzzed. I kept telling TheMan “See? You should be counting your blessings, Mister. I could have been like her!” Yeah. I said it more than once. The first time is funny, the sixth time is time to shut the fuck up. Ya know? What can I say? Anyway, we were having a good time laughing at the spoiled cows who were going to extremes- even though my father-in-law tried to say “They just edited to look like that. They’re not really like that”. Pfft. What a way to kill a good time, Pops!

    Then I had a bright idea. “I want KFC and mashed potatoes!” TheMan looked at me sideways9 and then, oh-ho, his stomach growled. Mwahaha!! It was sooo loud. We all had a good laugh at that. Then it was time to go again. Unfortunately we didn’t get some damned mashed potatoes, but my buzz was waning so I didn’t care much. We stopped for a pre-made, wilted salad and then came home.

    I was then forced to have a couple more beers, but we’ll pretend I’m stone cold sober. Don’t ask why. I won’t be able to tell you. Just humor me, ok?

    I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

    Coming Back

    So, I mentioned that I believe in reincarnation, right? The purpose, I believe, of reincarnation is to allow our souls to become knowledgeable and flourish, to become one with the Gods. Of course, one’s soul is born ignorant and must learn through many lives and their trials. It’s like following a trail without a map and you must learn which way gets you ahead and which ones put you back. Well, I’m not really trying to educate anyone here. I’m just spouting my own beliefs and I don’t have to convince myself why I believe them.

    Here’s the thing. I’ve been looking at babies a lot lately (especially my own). I notice a lot of differences in the way babies look at people. Some babies seem to have a really clueless look on their face, so happy and uninformed, their souls just starting out (I’m thinking…). Anyway, then there are those babies that look at you with such old eyes. It’s uncanny. My very own baby had old eyes. When she looks at me it’s almost like she knows what I’m thinking. Like she’s telling me that she’s not as stupid as everyone thinks she is, she just can’t express herself because she’s in a new body. My husbands cousin had eyes like that when he was a baby. You could see it in the pictures. I think he’s about 8 now and he still looks like he knows a lot. However, I believe that babies are more knowledgeable about their own souls because they have all the memories of their past lives. I think they lose that over time because they learn that kind of stuff just isn’t normal. So they suppress it. I see that kind of thing in my baby. I’m tempted to say that it scares me, but it doesn’t. I’m very curious about it. If I raised her with my spiritual beliefs would she then be able to become psychic? Would she be more intelligent? More special? If she used what she already has and doesn’t learn to push it away and think of herself as abnormal will that make her better?

    Of course, I have no idea what I’m talking about. That’s why I usually just spout nonsense. But today I was looking at my baby’s eyes and they just seemed so old. Like she’d lived a long time. I wonder what lifetime she’s in and what lessons she’s got to learn to move on. I wonder that about both of my girls. My son spent all of 36 minutes visiting this lifetime. He’s moved on. I think his life was more of a lesson for me and my husband than for himself. And then our daughter arrived 10 months and 3 weeks later…. I think that somehow I’m more blessed than I thought when she was born. I think that I really have a special little girl. I hope she passes this test with flying colors.

    I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.