Employment

I am happy to announce that I got a real world/ brick-and-mortar job. The piddly stuff I was doing before didn’t bring in any money and, shoot, I can’t really concentrate on writing anyway. I am so broke it isn’t even funny and I’ve been really worried about Christmas coming up. This job isn’t going to have me raking in the dough here, but it definitely eases my mind to a certain extent.

I’ve been out putting in resumes and applications since a couple days after he left. No one’s called me back and those that I called weren’t hiring (though they had “we’re hiring” notices, for some reason). I’m pretty sure it was because I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 4 years. Everyone oohs and ahs when they find out you’re sacrificing for your kid, but then they think you don’t know how to work when you try to get back into the daily grind.

At any rate, I went to my old place of employment. This was where I was working as a server when I was pregnant with my son. I couldn’t go back there after I found out the baby was going to die because I was losing my mind and there was no way I could smile and be pleasant. One of the supervisor’s at the time shared with me that her baby daughter died, so we kind of bonded over that. It was a really sad circumstance. Still, there was something good come out of it (as we say here in hillbilly country).

I walked in there yesterday and found out this lady is now the hiring manager. I sat down and talked to her about everything TheMan did and then quite literally begged for my old job back. I said “Please, I’m begging you, I just really need this job.”

She said they have a lot of servers already, but she was going to see what she could do for me. She went into the back and came back out a few minutes later.

“Be here at 9am Nov.16 for orientation.”

I was thrilled. I’m such a fucking sap that I jumped up and hugged her and then, gods help me, I started crying. I don’t want to get into my emotional state of mind (the haters would love that, wouldn’t they?) but I was just overcome. I felt like such a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I will be eternally grateful to her for doing this for me. Really. She will be blessed with the best Karma ever. She’s awesome.

You know, I’m pretty damned lucky. I’ve got my friends that I’ve met through blogging (which are the best friends ever, even though I suck at visiting their blogs) and I’ve got other people that I haven’t seen in a long time that are still willing to help me out. That really lifts me up. One of these days I’m going to win the lottery and all of us are going on vacation somewhere not too hot and not too cold. Really.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Now That We’re Through with The Crap

I’m currently pretending that psychos aren’t stalking and threatening me because I won a debate. Ok, well, not currently. But yesterday and today I had a BLAST out in the real world.

Yesterday we went to a picnic. This one was family oriented1 so we took the chillins. OMG, Lil’lady was hilarious. Now that she’s reached the ripe old age of (three plus one— shh!) she does a whole lot of talking. Since there were 200-300 people there, she had a lot of people to talk to. The funniest, though, was when she went up to a little Amish girl and told her:
“When our electricity goes out we’re going to be Amish and my mommy’s going to make me a blue dress.”

Yesterday we went to a picnic. This one was family oriented1 so we took the chillins. OMG, Lil’lady was hilarious. Now that she’s reached the ripe old age of (three plus one— shh!) she does a whole lot of talking. Since there were 200-300 people there, she had a lot of people to talk to. The funniest, though, was when she went up to a little Amish girl and told her:
“When our electricity goes out we’re going to be Amish and my mommy’s going to make me a blue dress.”

Holy shitballs! Oops.

A little history for this hilarity:
A couple of weeks ago our electric went out for a few hours. Lil’lady, being the rather timid creature that she is, insisted that we light some candles and go sit on the front porch. Apparently she believes that we must retreat to the outdoors whenever the power goes out2. So, we’re sitting on the front porch and listening to the drunk neighbors across the street. It was rather peaceful (regardless) and Lil’lady asked me to tell her a story. Not very good at fiction, I started regaling her with tales from my youth. One story that stuck out to her was when I stayed with my cousins in the summer.

My cousins lived in a small town smack-dab in the middle of Amish Country (Ohio for those of you gathering information). A really nice Amish family lived on a farm at the bottom of my cousins’ hill. They had a little girl named Mardella. Mardella and I got to be really good friends3 and I was able to go inside her home, ride in the family buggy, was invited to dinner and helped tend the horses. My experiences with Mardella and her family made for great memories and I shared some of those with Lil’lady.

Lil’lady, of course, didn’t understand why the Amish are different. So I explained that they don’t have electricity, televisions, telephones, cars, etc. Of course, that led to more questions as she is (three plus one) and more stories and more… Well, you know how kids her age can be.

Something about that conversation must have stuck in her head, because she was completely enthralled by the Amish folks at the picnic and couldn’t wait to make a new friend. Little did she know that her enthusiasm would cause her poor, dear mother much embarrassment. Later we discussed why we weren’t going to become Amish- but after we took a ride in an Amish buggy.

Today was a 21 and over which meant Al Kee Hall was going to be there. Woo-hoo! I was excited to be going where no children could follow. It’s been a while since I was able to escape the confines of motherhood joyous sound of my children. This was especially nice because they had an open bar with two kegs and lots of Seagram’s4. So, TheMan and I had our required hotdog then went straight for Al.

Of course, I couldn’t remember if it was “Beer before liquor never sicker” or “Liquor before beer never sicker” so I had a beer first. Then I said fuck it and went for the hard stuff. But not too much. Just enough to…

Get my ass shakin’ on the dance floor! WOOT! We were boot scootin’ and booty callin’ and it was suh-weet. It’s been a long time since I went dancing5 and I was loving it. There weren’t very many women as young as me6 which should tell you something, but those ladies could get down. No lie. They were shakin’ it like it was 1975. It was hilarious.

Well, it was until that dudette got up to karaoke to Patsy Cline. She started wailin’ about standing by her man and I just had to go have another drink. For real. That shit was painful to hear.

Luckily, when she was done some old dude got up to sing that Lee Greenwood song7, so Patsy was soon pushed out of my head8 by fantasies of stuffing a dog down dude’s gullet. It was a joyous moment. More Seagrams please!

Did I mention that we got there at 3pm? Yeah.

After a couple of laps around the picnic in the (line of people going around the room?) TheMan finally pulled me out. It was time to go. Bah! I was having a good time too. Oh well, he was smart. If we’d have stayed longer I would have gotten really plastered and then embarrassed myself either there or online. I’m good like that. ;)

After a couple of laps around the picnic in the (line of people going around the room?) TheMan finally pulled me out. It was time to go. Bah! I was having a good time too. Oh well, he was smart. If we’d have stayed longer I would have gotten really plastered and then embarrassed myself either there or online. I’m good like that. ;)

We went to see his dad and stepmom and watched some “Bridezillas” with them. That was really funny while I was buzzed. I kept telling TheMan “See? You should be counting your blessings, Mister. I could have been like her!” Yeah. I said it more than once. The first time is funny, the sixth time is time to shut the fuck up. Ya know? What can I say? Anyway, we were having a good time laughing at the spoiled cows who were going to extremes- even though my father-in-law tried to say “They just edited to look like that. They’re not really like that”. Pfft. What a way to kill a good time, Pops!

Then I had a bright idea. “I want KFC and mashed potatoes!” TheMan looked at me sideways9 and then, oh-ho, his stomach growled. Mwahaha!! It was sooo loud. We all had a good laugh at that. Then it was time to go again. Unfortunately we didn’t get some damned mashed potatoes, but my buzz was waning so I didn’t care much. We stopped for a pre-made, wilted salad and then came home.

I was then forced to have a couple more beers, but we’ll pretend I’m stone cold sober. Don’t ask why. I won’t be able to tell you. Just humor me, ok?

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Otie Lost His Balls

Otie with a ballWell, we took Otie to get neutered. It was time. He ran off the other day and was gone for over an hour. We looked everywhere and he finally found us. Plus he’s taken to trying to hump Lil’lady. Um, no, that doesn’t work for me.

At any rate, they sent him home and he was so sad and dejected. He looked like he’d lost his best friend. Oh, wait… Anyway, for some reason they didn’t give him any pain medications and he was just acting funky. By the time TheMan got home the vet was gone for the day and I couldn’t call asking for any. When I took him out he kind of limped over to the grass and laid down- in the snow. He hates the snow, but I think that he was liking the cold on his incision. It was a tad bit sad.

Now, I thought (and have actually seen this) that the vet just cut off the sack and all. Snip, snip, tie. But with Otie she (the vet) went in, cut out his jewels, and left that poor, sorry, empty little sack dangling1. She didn’t even bother to tape it up or anything. It’s just dangling. Ugh.

The day after his surgery he tried to get up and play. But every time he would run his sack would bounce and he would immediately sit down. I felt so bad for him, the poor guy. TheMan says to me “Well, it can’t hurt that bad.” HUH?

Me: “What would you do if your balls were cut out and your emptiness just bounced around willy-nilly? I’ll tell you what you’d do: You’d cry like a little baby and beg me to put you out of your misery.”

Poor dog. I did try to put a compress on it, but he just got irritated and tried to eat it. He actually grabbed it out of my hand, went to take off, realized his was sore, and laid back down. snort He still wouldn’t let me put anything on it. Other Sis told me to use ibuprofen. Except NO. That shit is toxic, duh. From the info I saw, it is only safe at 5 mg per pound. Using my newly acquired math skillz I estimated that we needed 35 mgs. Ok, so I look at this pill (still thinking Other Sis knows what the hell she’s talking about) and think to myself “How the fuck am I going to figure out what 35 mgs is?”. I proceed to fling the pill in the trash- along with the idea that Other Sis knows what the hell she’s talking about.

So now, it’s a couple of days later and he’s back to his old self (the dog, not the husband). Amazingly, the castration didn’t take away his high energy (labradoodle, remember?). OMG! Can you believe that shit? TheMan is perplexed as to why it didn’t work out that way. You would think that he would have asked the vet and/or read the information the vet sent home for us. You would be wrong. The dog still greets us like he’s a 10 pound poodle (instead of 72 pounds) with a stubby tail (his tail his long and will whack the shit out of your legs if you get too close). He still tries to jump in trees to catch that damned chattery squirrel. And he still almost catches the rabbit.

He has, however, stopped trying to hump Lil’lady.

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.