The Devil Went Down to Georgia

About a month and a half ago I was crying and asking my gods why the fuck don’t I get some good karma for once. I was sad and miserable and empty. I felt like my gods and ancestors were just playing with me for cruel shits and giggles. Like they were continually punishing for something I couldn’t fathom I did.

But I was so wrong. In fact, I am a very blessed person.

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

“Not Meant to Be”

It’s never enough to say I’m sorry
It’s never enough to say I care
But I’m caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you
I might just disappear

Nobody wins when everyone’s losing

It’s like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you’re always mad
And I, I can’t change your mind
I know it’s like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can’t give you what you want
And it’s killing me
And I, I’m starting to see
Maybe we’re not meant to be

It’s never enough to say I love you
No, it’s never enough to say I try
It’s hard to believe
That there’s no way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our lives

Nobody wins when everyone’s losing

It’s like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you’re always mad
And I, I can’t change your mind
I know it’s like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can’t give you what you want
And it’s killing me
And I, I’m starting to see
Maybe we’re not meant to be

There’s still time to turn this around
You could build this up instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it’s too late

It’s like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you’re always mad
And I, I can’t change your mind
I know it’s like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can’t give you what you want
And it’s killing me
And I, I’m starting to see
Maybe we’re not meant to be

It’s like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you’re always mad
And I, baby I’m sorry to see
Maybe we’re not meant to be

“Not Meant to Be” as written by David J. Brenner David Brenner

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

“Tomorrow”

I wrote some stuff below.

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!

Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!

When I’m stuck in a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may

Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!

You’re always
A day
A way!

Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!

You’re always
A day
A way!

Tomorrow at this time I’ll be on a plane to Atlanta, Georgia. I’m really excited and nervous and a little bit extra nuts. Got my hair and nails did1. Got my bags packed. I’m ready, yo.

Yesterday was really stressful2 and I’m hoping that’s the end of whatever I have coming my way. It wasn’t so bad that I’m losing my shit, but it was close. There was some fun to be had at our regional meeting yesterday. I think the sirs caught wind of my romantic status. I seem to be giving off that “I’m totally single and you suck” vibe already. Mofos were busy stressing. And I’m pretty one of the big guys was flirting with me. I’m almost positive. I don’t want to sleep with him3 but it made me feel good.

That’s all from me today, folks. I’ve got a busy day today. That other post I was talking about is coming soon. It’s taking some time to get together. What the fuck am I thinking? I write my best stuff without thinking much about what I’m writing. This better be good.

Until then keep your eyes peeled for stories of antics from my trip.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

  1. Actually did them myself, but who cares? []
  2. No, I don’t want to write about that particular incident. []
  3. Nooooooo []

“Straight Jacket”

Theory Of A Deadman – Straight Jacket lyrics
I wear a 36 long, white is my color
I wear a 36 long, white is my color
A little tight in the shoulder
But you know, it still fit me good
I wear a 36 long, white is my color
A little tight in the shoulder
But you know, it still fit me good

Anyone can see we’re a perfect match
An innocent boy and a psychopath
A week’s worth of dating and you talk about moving in
(Talk about moving too fast)
My mom disapproved and my friends would say
To break the girl’s heart but I’m too afraid
Her clickbait body was a tractor beam
She was a Tesla Model S with the ludicrous speed
The sex was good but we always fight
I’d try to leave your sorry ass but end up spending the night
Your sweetness, my weakness, you’re mean though ingenious
Nothing can come between us (Man, have you seen us?)

I’ve lost it, you’re toxic, I botched this, I’m nauseous
Man, I gotta be

Out of my mind, be going crazy
‘Cause it doesn’t faze me
Yeah, the way you treat me so bad
I must be out of my brain
Hallucinating
Well, it doesn’t faze me
Yeah, the way you treat me so bad
I must be out of my mind

Free at last, I’m free at last
Something I’ll never say is “I’m free at last”
She ain’t around so I can vent and get it off my chest
(So here we go, three, two, one)
And you’re supercali-pessimistic-expiali-narcissistic
You were Mary Poppins, you’d be soon be going out of business
God as my witness, you got a Honda Civic
‘Cause you’re backseat driving my life

I just wanna sleep my life away
I must be

Out of my mind, be going crazy
‘Cause it doesn’t faze me
Yeah, the way you treat me so bad
I must be out of my brain
Hallucinating
Well, it doesn’t faze me
Yeah, the way you treat me so bad
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad

I’m freaking out, I’m panic attacking
Yeah, I mentally had it, now my living room’s padded
I’m a sadist, I’m addicted to this heroin
You’re Tonya Harding and I’m your Nancy Kerrigan
Like Lloyd Braun, I just wanted serenity
But you had to go testing me, gave me suicide tendencies
Your little games, your little, little games
You tricked me into staying, your playing is getting lame
From touching your sweet things to tracking your calls
Go from smacking your ass to punching holes in the walls
Go from sending me fire nudes to eyeing up other dudes
From picking a favorite song to playlisting break up tunes
Started so high, now I can hardly breathe
Go from weak in the knees to being too weak I can’t leave
You called it, it’s all my fault, this I know
Guess I’m better off dead inside than being alone

I just wanna sleep my life away
Oh!

I must be out of my mind, be going crazy
‘Cause it doesn’t faze me
Yeah, the way you treat me so bad
I must be out of my brain
Hallucinating
Well, it doesn’t faze me
Yeah, the way you treat me so bad
I must be out of my mind

Yeah, yeah, oh
I must be out of my mind

And you’re supercali-pessimistic-expiali-narcissistic
You were Mary Poppins, you’d be soon be going out of business

Yeah, oh, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

“Good Riddance”

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and known as why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs and still-frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

Songwriters: Michael Pritchard / Frank E. / Iii Wright / Billie Joe Armstrong
Good Riddance lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Luckily for Me

I’ll finally be in Georgia this Friday. Lil’lady and I are flying down. I’m so excited to meet my friend and, to be honest, going on a plane. I’ve never been on an airplane before so this is a super treat for me. Lil’lady is going to help me navigate the fun as she’s flown a bunch of times with Millie. She’s actually more worried about meeting Lars’s kids. They’re older than her, but his youngest isn’t that much older. Plus she’s happy as a lark that she won’t be the only kid there with a bunch of drunk Twitter weirdos.

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I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Who is up for a rollercoaster?

Rollercoasters are fun, right? They give you some type of thrill. That thrill that keeps you interested and running back for more. It pulls you up, throws you down. Thrusts you forward , pushes you back. It scares you, makes you laugh. Some even make you sick to your stomach. It’s that indescribable thrill that pulls you back to ride again and again.

He’s the creator of my personal rollercoaster. An emotional one. Filled with its own type of thrills. Also filled with heartache and tears. Laughs and fears.  Sometimes he even has the ability to make me feel physically sick.

He is my rollercoaster.

In this world full of disappointments, heartache and cruelty. People seek out distractions. They seek out things to level them.  Healthy emotional beings search for stable relationships. They are able to find these said relationships. They know when to let the unstable ones go. Then you have people like me – that hold on too tightly.

As I said before, I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with him. After that night, after that connection was created. Something changed in me. It was like my faith in him, in love, had been born. I have had others tell me how they felt about me. But it had always felt…Superficial. The way he felt vibrated by soul – radiated my heart. I felt it.

I felt safe with him. I was able to be vulnerable with him. Being vulnerable with someone wasn’t something that came easy for me. If anyone knew how frightening it was for me, they would understand the risk I took with that. I’ve taken that risk twice in my life. Twice.  Both times I got burned. It chipped away at my heart. It made me so cold. He was able to bring warmth to my heart. Do you understand how scary that was? I did. But that thrill, that thrill that sent me on an emotional ride. A ride that I didn’t want to end. I needed it.

He had someone. I knew that. I accepted it. As I said before it wasn’t meant to be like this. I don’t believe he meant it to be like this. But it happened. Things happen.

I made a conscious decision to be the other woman.

I was never proud of this decision. It actually ate at my soul. I know how it feels to be betrayed. How it feels to be lied to.  Cheated on. I never expected to be the perpetrator after being a victim myself. But this was different. We loved each other. I’m sure that’s the common rationale used, right? To justify wanting to be with a man who is already taken. To make it feel right. When in all reality it isn’t. To be so selfish, and to know it’s selfish. It makes you question your morals all together. It makes you question his respect for you, as a woman.

I pushed it in the back of mind. The things I knew. The doubts I felt. The uneasiness that I felt every time I wondered why he hadn’t left. I secretly questioned his motives. His feelings. It was only natural to wonder if he loved me why not just be with me. I pushed it all in the back of my mind. For as long as I could. Instead I held onto how sweet his kisses were. How gentle his touch was. The way he looked at me. Our conversations. I wasn’t the only one who had become vulnerable. Or was chasing this thrill. He was just as engaged as I was.  As in love as I was. We created this double life, a life we stayed in so safely when we were together. We lived this lie, this beautiful lie for a very long time. But all beautiful things come to an end. Soon enough my emotions would take over. Soon enough this rollercoaster wouldn’t be so exciting anymore. Soon enough my faith in love would be crushed again.

 

“Beautiful hurricane, I create disasters”

“The Bottom”

Here I am again
Honest and afraid
Doubting who I am
The reason I was made

Here I am again
Vulnerable and lost
Hanging from the edge
So close to falling off

Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom
Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up

Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom
Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up

Here I am again
Sleepless and confused
Have I met the end
Or am I being used

Here I am again
Ugly and alone
Searching for a sign
Tell me where to go

Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom
Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up

Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom
Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up

I know there’s no one left to blame
I know I’ve pushed you all the way
I have no further left to fall
I know there’s no one left to blame

I know I’ve pushed you all the way
I have no further left to fall
Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom

Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up
Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom

Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up
Can I get myself back
Back up from the bottom

Can I get my life back the way it was
Before I got torn up
Before I got torn up
Before I got torn up
Songwriters: Joseph David Walser / Blake Carney Allison
The Bottom lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

I love this song, but no two sites can agree on the lyrics. Whatever. This is where I’m at.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.