In the last few weeks I have managed to personally offend people in the following ways:
1.) Mentioning that I’m going to vote for Barack Obama, even though I find his policies just left of Bush’s.
2.) Saying that documents required to procure identification for voting should be free.
3.) Mentioning I clicked a link shared by someone1 but the site was inaccessible from my phone2.
4.) I’m pretty sure the person who called me a cunt was pissed that I joked I don’t like squirrels (I do like squirrels, but I have a running gag. I’d mention the friends who posted about Squirrel Appreciation Day yesterday, but I don’t want to offend anyone by putting their name in a post).
5.) I said something I don’t remember which caused someone to freak out on me and call me an Obot. Other people remember that incident. No, I didn’t say anything to that person or say anything that elicited that kind of response from that person. Perhaps someone who saw it can remind me what caused her to lose her ever-loving mind.
6.) Laughing about being accused of being a sock puppet. That was actually funny, because the offended person didn’t even know what a sock puppet was so I linked her to urban dictionary. This, obviously, was a personal attack on her and I was clearly calling her a sock puppet.
I would dig these links up and/or directly quote myself, but I’m not in the mood right now. I’m irritated and not overly concerned about showing that these are actual incidents where I wasn’t ranting about someone in particular. I wasn’t pointing out anything except something like voting or websites that can’t be accessed by my android phone or, god forbid, joking about squirrels.
I can be very offensive. I recognize that. I can also get angry and rant, rant, rant. These situations are different. I’ve been commenting without the passion and fire because I have a lot going on in my real life and I’m just not feeling it. Today’s incident, regarding my highly offensive post remarking on CBS’s inability to code their site for Android, was something I totally wasn’t expecting3. Here’s someone who regularly “reminds” Google+ users that it’s rude not to acknowledge someone who has shared something with you. I did that and the response I got was a snide “I’m sorry to have bothered you with that”. When I explained my post he wrote “You could’ve fooled me”. Really? I mention to someone else that I think birth certificates should be free. The response I got from some stranger was “I don’t understand your rant. My birth certificate was free”. Upon clarification, his response to me was more shin-kicking. I don’t know where that shit came from4
The birth certificate thing went like this:
ME: And voting should be free. Meaning that it should cost $0. IDs, birth certificates etc all cost money. So, maybe it should be about allowing us to access these necessary articles of identication without the cost so that it costs $0 to cast a vote.
HIM: Um, my birth certificate didn’t cost me a dime… and neither did my Social Security card – so I’m a bit confused at your rant +Jenny Jinx
I’m sick of having to clarify innocent observations. I’m sitting here rewriting this shit over and over trying to word it in a way that somebody won’t find to be a personal attack on them. That shit is tiring. I’m not doing it anymore. Fuck it. There are plenty of people who read the shit I write who don’t find offense in my observations. I’d much rather “socialize” with them than the people who immediately go on the attack over stupid shit.
Here’s what my problem is:
There have been people in my social networking streams that have been spending a lot of time complaining about what they see in their streams. So, I’ve changed my habits on both Twitter and Google+. I’ve changed the way I reshare things on G+ and have curbed my habit of tweeting whatever the fuck is on my mind on Twitter. I’ve tried to be considerate of what others are experiencing on their own streams. That ends today.
I’ve been on Twitter for almost 5 years and G+ since 10 days after it went live Beta (heh). I’ve never had to defend myself against people whining that I’ve done something wrong so much as I have recently. That’s not a problem with how I do things, that’s a problem with their perception. There are times when I am clearly letting off steam or ranting about something/someone. There are also times when I will say something like “I hate you for showing me that” to someone and that someone will know I don’t really hate him– I’m joking. I appreciate a good discussion and I will apologize if I’ve really said something that has offended someone I respect5. I exhibited my ability to have rational debates and other types of discussion with just about any type of online personality6. I’m done behaving in a way that is out of character for me– whether on or offline.
A stranger is still someone I don’t know. And I don’t know someone just because we’ve had a few amicable words on a social networking site. I know someone or am in the process of knowing someone, if we mutually take the time to actually understand each other beyond online political ranting and sharing shit on another site. Fuck it. If someone is going to be my friend, they should realize that 1.) I’m a real person, 2.) I’m crazy and 3.) I’m opinionated. They should also realize that I’m not going to be intentionally hurtful to someone without a real reason. I’m not going to go the fuck off on someone because the link they shared isn’t working properly. If that’s what you think of me then see ya. I haven’t got the time for that or you. Period. Honestly, my life is easier and happier without people who are going to think of me like that.
- This person was highly offended because I gave him credit for sharing the link. He accused me of calling him out. [↩]
- No, worries, the clarification that I wasn’t complaining about the person who posted the link, but the site itself, was also offensive [↩]
- I’ve since edited that post to remove his name and to include “some mysterious person” as to not “call out” [↩]
- That comes from internet culture, I know. I know people are stupid and that anything can be misunderstood in writing. That’s not the point. That’s just an example of one more thing. [↩]
- Key word there. If I’ve offended someone I don’t like or respect, I’ve probably done it on purpose and have no intention of apologizing. [↩]
- I don’t always equate an online persona with an offline persona [↩]
8 Comments
The problem is the same as it’s always been … fucking idiots. Yeah. See, I don’t have this issue any longer because my FB and G+ contain only smart peeps, and I blacklist anyone who annoys me from my blog. Sure, I used to have fun kicking trolls and dumbarses around sometimes, but BTDT, boring. Once you’ve been the Queen and have commanded an army of minions, there’s really nowhere left to go.
I suggest a heavy-duty cull, Miz Jinx.
I know, Paula. I know.
With the exception of the dude that went asshat about the price of birth certificates (really), the other people I thought were decent folk. The last guy I’ve interacted with for a number of years.
I don’t know. I know people suck balls generally, but sometimes I still have hope. Usually that gets shattered, but it’ll pop up again at some point. Then they’ll piss me off and I’ll become “acerbic” again and kick someone in the virtual balls.
People whine about civility online, but all they’re saying is “Make this space more comfortable for me“. Bullshit. Cry babies.
I have to go get my MRI, so I’ll finish this comment when I get back.
Of course, you make a good point. My problem is thinking that WATBs are more intelligent than they are. I need more smart people around.
I’ve never concerned myself with how others percieve me or my opinions. And, like you, I take a bit of pleasure in messing with stupid people (I know, not very Christian of me). You’re 100% right. You shouldn’t bother with people you don’t know. That being said, I don’t think you should change what you do on your sites/feeds because other people don’t like it. The problem is theirs, not yours.
Ive long since stopped caring about what people get offended about online. I dont think a day has gone by that I havent offended even those I know personally by something Ive said or posted. We just have to accept that there are people who will take almost EVERYTHING posted personally even if it has NOTHING to do with them.
For them, as well as the rest of them, I say….dont you have your OWN profiles to say what YOU want to say?
@Paula,
I just saw your mention of “minions”. Bwahaha! But you forget that it’s “sycophantic blogtards”. No insult was ever as awesome as that one.
@Vince,
I have been working on being more mature in some ways. I don’t know. I know that I have a way about me and have been looking at ways to improve. Unfortunately, I think I’ve gone about that wrong. I do this every so often, as you well know, for whatever reason. Recently it’s been more about watching the effects of bullying on other people (I’ve mentioned previously that I don’t feel bullied online and that still holds true). And I’ve followed some people who make some really good points about the sort of online behavior that causes issues for others.
But at the same time, I totally forgot that it’s not my job to make sure the people who choose to follow me have an enjoyable time doing so. Then I get some shit like I wrote about here and decide “You know what? Fuck all, y’all. My history speaks for itself. Unfollow, bitchez!”
@Sheila,
How do! Thanks for stopping by.
Like I said above, I was doing some internal restructuring (so to speak). I have so little patience for folks who are perpetually offended. Most of the time I steer clear of that type. Sadly, I seemed to miss at least two of them.
This last incident smacked me in the face and woke me up. There’s a thing to be said about the thick-skin adage. I like to get pissed off every so often, but I try not to aim that at anyone with whom I’ve had a decent online relationship. I pay attention to when they say something irritates them and try to consider that. Well, mostly.
I don’t get offended when someone says something that could pertain to my online behavior. I used to think “Well, shit, if it bothers you, why are you following me?” But then I thought, for a while, “Maybe I am being…” But that only applies to people who have taken the time to at least have a conversation with me. If someone is an asshat I couldn’t care less.
I’m going back to “Why the fuck are you following me then?” I’m going back to the attitude of “This is mah Twitteh und I veel use it mah way.” People who are perpetually offended and who lack a basic sense of gutter humor need not follow. Pffft.
Also, I got distracted again. I was watching Hoarders and talking about the new SCOTUS decision regarding public domain and trying to comment here again. Haha! Fuck a duck, well, Paula and Vince are used to me rambling and getting distracted.
I caused one of those problems!
That wasn’t your fault, silly. Though you forced me to look at a RWNJ post. I was polite and commented among my own kind! How were either of us supposed to know that such an innocent statement as “Birth certificates can be free” would drive dude straight around the loony bend? Anyway, that was fun and proof that I can make people think like me even if they don’t ever admit it. Mwahahaha!
I unhooped the other fucker. Pffft.
So, I’ve been thinking about this some more.
I’ve decided my issue is with the fact that so many people assume that a comment is intended to be offensive no matter what. There’s a big reason for this, of course, because of the flame wars that happen all the time. There’s a lot of in-fighting among progressives on Twitter, so there’s the assumption that everyone is back-stabbing everyone else.
That annoys the shit out of me. I found myself becoming more apt to snap back at innocent questions and have decided that’s just a waste of time and energy. If I’m going to kick anyone in the shins, it’ll be a doofus, because they’re fun. (See: PUMAs and nuPUMAs/PragHags) Fuck this all “Oh, no, I was just throwing that out there. I didn’t mean to offend you… blah blah blah.” Fuck it all.