The Little Storm That Could

It was a dark and stormy night. The remnants of Hurricane Ike were blowing hither and fro- even the little birdies couldn’t stay perched in their trees. Whoosh! Bam! Zoom! It was a sight to behold. But there was work to be done and assignments were due. I retired to my computer room to embark on the journey to an “A”.

Then the children called me to the porch. I saved my work and joined them to witness the amazing force of Ike’s baby winds. We were all duly impressed as we’d never before been visited by a hurricane in BFE, OH. That’s when it happened. The ever-present hum of electricity stopped dead. The power was out.

FUCK!

That was Sunday night about 6:15pm. I cursed and hollered but was sure the power would soon be restored. I was wrong. Sunday night rolled in and we busted out the candles and oil lamps. Then Monday morning rolled around and we went to find bags of ice (and coffee). Then we headed out to lunch. I had until midnight to finish my project and was sure I had plenty of time. The power would be turned on soon.

We turned the radio on to hear how bad the damage was. Trees were literally uprooted and had landed on houses. One poor guy was driving under a tree when it decided to keel over- right on top of his brand new car. 300,000 AEP customers were shit out of luck. Estimated time to get the lights back on: 7 days.

Holy shitballs!

I high tailed it to the library and emailed my professor. I couldn’t even borrow a laptop because most people don’t have Visual Studio installed. And I couldn’t get to the school quite yet because, well, my kids needed me. Didn’t she understand? Could I please have an extension? “Sure”, she wrote back, “You have until Wednesday.” Fuck! I didn’t even know if the power would be back on by then.

That night we played games that I imagine the Amish play. I told long, drawn out stories that didn’t have any real end. The kids fell asleep and I sat on the porch willing the power company to get to my house RIGHT NOW. It didn’t work. We were screwed. Thank the heavens for the lamps.

The next day we all got up and went for breakfast. Every school in the county was closed. The country kids couldn’t get to school because of fallen trees and wires. Apparently this was the worst storm in AEP history (I have no idea how long that is). Still they were saying “7 days”. Dur. It was already almost 2. What the hell? I went to school for my morning class but didn’t actually go to class. Screw that guy. He gets on my damned nerves anyway. I found an open computer and attempted to do my project. I only had until noon. Sadly, I didn’t get very far and had to give up.

That night I went to Millie’s to do some laundry (she had power on Monday). Lil’lady and I were like fiends getting a fix while we watched television. It was a truly pathetic sight to behold. When we went home I was happily surprised to see the left side of my street alight. Whoo-hoo! The nightmare was over1. My excitement was quickly dampened when I looked at the door bell. There was no light. We had no power.

When I went inside I fumbled around for some light and was cursing the neighbors. A few houses up, on my side of the street, a street light mocked me with it’s brightness. I contemplated making a sling shot and shooting it out. It was so unfair! My next thought was to go invite myself to the neighbor’s house. I don’t know them, they don’t know me, but dammit we were in a crisis situation! I decided against the violence and intrusion and went up to bed. Some more stories and a sleeping pill made all right with us. I was convinced Wednesday morning would be like Christmas and I would wake to glorious electricity running through my house.

I was wrong. We went to breakfast again and then back home2. We found things to do together, things that no family should have to endure. “My Little Pony Memory” and “Trivia Pursuit”. And who really wants to sit in the back yard and draw pictures? We’re not barbarians, dammit! We actually had conversations and shared thoughts. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced. Where was my beloved Twitter?

As suddenly as it happened, it was over. At 1:56pm the lights came back on. The kids cheered and I wept with joy. We were saved! It was a beautiful thing. I spent a few minutes hugging the television and then decided it was time to attempt that damned project. I only wanted to catch up on the politics and my soaps! The cruelty!

I was going between reading blogs and doing actual work when it was time for math class. I was able to go in a good mood, so my mind was able to process the numbers and equations. I was once again able to lose myself in looking at my prof’s…numbers. My world was right again.

When I got home that night I went back to working on my project. Millie had taken Lil’lady, so I was able to stick my ear buds in and lose myself in my mp3 player. I was typing merrily along- with only the occasional banging of the head against the desk – when the lights started to flicker. Double fuck! Lil’ Miss ran in and asked me what was happening. Were aliens descending? No, it was happening again. We were being thrown back into the dark ages.

The lights went off. We were resigned to more days of bleak darkness and gathered up the lamps and candles. We got comfortable for another night of closeness as I silently cursed AEP and whichever Republican was responsible for Ike. Lil’ Miss shared that she was able to finish a whole book. I wondered aloud if I still had the ability to process more than 140 characters at a time. And then- just like that!- our lights came back.

And the sharing was over. Thank the gods we had our technology again and could go back to allowing our brains to slowly rot in our skulls.

P.S.

I turned in my project on time, but the bitch still docked me points. WTF?

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Palin the Monster

I dislike Gov. Sarah Palin as a champion of the wimmen for a number of reasons. If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written, you can pretty much guess what they are. Until today I can’t say that I really abhorred McCain’s pick, because, duh, I’m voting Democratic no matter what (8 more years? Puh-lease). Today that sentiment changed.

She is a monster. A pathetic excuse for a human being. There is no place in our federal government for anyone like her. She deserves to be driven back to Alaskan by ridicule and national disdain.

A little more background: I believe in the inherent right for all animals to live (this does not contradict my pro-women’s health stance) or, if not live, to die humanely as necessary (food, protection, etc.). You could say that I prefer animals to people- and it’s true. I believe that humans are duty bound to share the earth with other species of animals. This is a deeply spiritual belief that I honor to the point where spiders/creepy crawlies are caught and released outdoors if seen in our house and rabbits are happily nesting in my garden with no interference from us. Another time we stopped in the middle of a drive so we could pick a turtle up and move it to the side. If I can avoid senseless killing I will.

On that note, I am not opposed to hunting- so long as it’s done in a humane, relatively fair way and for honorable purposes (food, clothing, protection). I believe that we are all here (animals and humans) to benefit each other. Hunters who kill just for the sake of killing make my stomach turn.

Sarah Palin is one of those people.

If you, like me, are an animal lover then you should be warned that the following video will repulse you. If you are extra sensitive, you will either rage or cry at the images you see. It is probably not good for sensitive children. I was blissfully ignorant of what the air-assault on wolves and other wild animals actually meant- until today. You are warned that this video is powerful and likely to evoke some kind of strong emotion. If you feel as I do about this barbaric practice, please pass it on.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

80% Approval Rating

I tweeted this, but thought it bore repeating with a little more detail.

I hear McCain supporters applaud Sarah Palin’s approval rating as a reason why they are happy she’s on the ticket. “Alaska is so big! And she’s got an 80% approval rating. How can that be bad?”

I hear McCain supporters applaud Sarah Palin’s approval rating as a reason why they are happy she’s on the ticket. “Alaska is so big! And she’s got an 80% approval rating. How can that be bad?”

Here’s a breakdown you can give your friends and family living under this delusion:

The number of people who voted in Alaska’s gubernatorial race: 206, 232
The margin of Palin’s victory: 48.3% to 40.9%
The approximate number of votes Palin received (based on the above numbers): 99,610

Number if 80% of all Alaskan voters1 like Palin : 164,985.6

The population of Akron, OH in 2007: 207, 934

The population of Cleveland, OH in 2007 (does not include greater metropolitan area, which consists of suburbs not governed by Cleveland’s mayor): 438,042

The population of Columbus, OH (also does not include greater metro area): 747,755

Total population of Three Ohio cities: 1,393,731

Population of Alaska in 2006: 670,053

So, when someone tells you that Palin has an amazing approval rating let them know that less than 200,000 people agree with that assessment. Alaska is the largest state by land mass in the U.S. But when the number of voters is broken down, well, would Palin fare so well in a state with larger numbers of registered voters? If less than 200K people agree with her policies, why should we be happy about her approval rating?

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

P.A.N.T.H.E.R

So, when someone tells you that Palin has an amazing approval rating let them know that less than 200,000 people agree with that assessment. Alaska is the largest state by land mass in the U.S. But when the number of voters is broken down, well, would Palin fare so well in a state with larger numbers of registered voters? If less than 200K people agree with her policies, why should we be happy about her approval rating?

Totally safe for work and kids.

So, children, if you plan to vote for Palin because she has the same chromosomes as you, well, stand proud, P.A.N.T.H.E.R.

via Womanist Musings

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Video of the Speech

I was honored to be invited to see Barack Obama speak today. It was a closed event blah blah blah. It was also outside in 90° heat. I was not sitting in the shade. Right now I’m at school, so don’t have a lot of time to write. The speech was excellent and I was able to meet Obama. Also, my face didn’t seem too red (though it was) on CNN.

Did I mention it was flippin’ hot? And that I was thrilled to be there?

Here’s video of part of the speech:

Hopefully I’ll be able to get some pictures up. I didn’t get any really good shots because my camera sucks ass and I’m all of 5ft 1in. I did meet him and I was thrilled with that. And he did exceptionally well with the question/answer session (none of the questions were pre-screened like Bush/McCain is wont to do) and he didn’t do a whole lot of stuttering. Zach Space, though, said a small oopsie. He said “blah blah blah three words out of the speech blah blah blah ‘It’s all about you’ blah blah blah”- you know, “It’s all about you” is 4 words, but we’ll give Space that one. :)

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

More Fun with PUMAs

Guess what! Give up? Well, Francine (aka SouthJerseyPUMA) wrote me another email. I guess she figured she’d shut her caps off this time.

Now this email is a reply to a subscription to “The Early Bird is Flippin’ Tired“. Francine (aka Southwaytoostupid) checked the box to subscribe. That’s important and you’ll see why. She then replied to the new email announcement.

Take note that Francine (aka Southdumbasarock) has taken off her caps lock and forgotten how to use it properly. Except for the top-row keys. Woo-hoo! You’re getting close, Francine, keep practicing!

Here’s that reply:

whats wrong jenny? spam? hahaa! who’s a joke? 4%, 18% popular! wow! you are a big time blogger! what a loser! you cant take a good fight? was my post and research on the dual citizenship too much for a lil girl to handle?

No longer an “it”, Francine whines that I scrubbed her posts. Here’s her last comment on the above referenced post. Francine is so “low-information” that she still thinks that her little trick worked.

The research? Talking points from her leader’s blog. She calls into question Obama’s citizenship- even though members of her cult agree that he’s eligible. I guess she didn’t get that “prowl” that day. Who’s laughing? Oh, yes! We are! Poor, Francine, put that vodka down, woman, and get some fresh air.

lmao!! scrubbed my post but left yours! can’t wait for the big bomb to come that will blow obozo out of the polls!! even rev. wright is back and he is selling shit on your hero!! guess payback’s are gonna be a bitch for the messiah! still laughing at your pathetic dumb koolaide ass!!!

No doubt the “big bomb” will be Michelle’s whitey tape. This tells me that Francine spends a lot of time at No 25¢1 and Texas Tea (or whatever). She believes that I’m somehow worried about Rev. Wright. Why should I be? All I have to do is point to her as a supporter of McCain and people will fly to the Dem side of the ticket in droves.

Poor Francine. Still sore after all these months. We may see mass head implosions in November. Keep your eye on the Southern sky.

lose the email… you will be spam as well here!

have a pain filled day from your Fibromyalgia! you deserve it!

Francine doesn’t know how to unsubscribe. And then goes on to prove that she does know how to use the caps key properly by capitalizing “Fibromyalgia”. She doesn’t understand that I would rather be in pain that be unintelligent, so her little “barb” was a waste of precious “prowl” time. My pain can get better- her stupidity will be a blight on humanity for all eternity.

P.S.

I forgot to add:

Francine wrote that email from her personal email account. So I did get her last name as well as her first. She doesn’t understand the value of an anonymous email account when sending fucktarded emails. Perhaps someone in her cult will help her out with that.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.

Fun with PUMAs

SouthJersyIMSOSTUPID sent me an email via my contact form. Seems she (he?) was busy editing her (his) own comments that she(he) had left here yesterday. And she (he) took screencaps to prove that she’d left comments here and I was censoring her (him). What SJISS doesn’t realize that when folks try that shit with me, I just fix it the way it was. Well, except for this one. I did warn her (him). They should read my comment policy.

Anyway, for the email. Apologies in advance for the all-caps. Dumbass doesn’t know Intertoobs etiquette, but I’m posting this in all it’s glory.1

SO I AM SPAM? HAHA!! THATS FUNNY! YOU ERASED MY COMMENTS? WHY? CAN’T TAKE A GOOD FIGHT? CAN’T LEAVE THE QUESTIONABLE CITIZENSHIP OF YOUR MESSIAH?

Note: This is where it questions the citizenship of Obama- because he conned us ALL and is really a Muslim-Christian Islamofascist Indonesian… Or something.

Also it asks if I can’t take a good fight. I guess if it came with one (a good fight) I’d be able to judge. But talking points straight from a “PUMA prowl” aren’t a good fight. It’s like listening to that crazy lady at the bus stop- the one that keeps saying “The end is neigh!” and asking if you’ve accepted Jesus in your heart. It’s better just to walk away.

OHH AND I SEE YOU ARE SO POPULAR!! LMAO!! 4%!!!

Note: This is where it looks at the Post Popularity plugin percentage and assumes that it applies to the total of the Intertoobs. It isn’t bright enough to know that it’s the popularity of the posts in comparison with my other posts. Shhh, don’t tell it. We don’t want to cause anyone’s head to implode with too much information. Better to let it think it’s found something brilliant with which to take me down.

PUMA’S ARE GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE JENNY! LIKE IT OR NOT!!!

Note: This is where it tries to convince itself and me that they are still relevant outside of their own little bubble. It doesn’t realize that for me (and other people like me) they’re no better than rightwing nut jobs and/or 911 Conspiracy Theorists or Fred Phelps Merry Band of Bigots.

SO WHO ARE YOUR READERS? FAMILY AND FRIENDS? THAT’S ABOUT ALL IT ADDS UP TO!!! I WILL BE SURE TO LET PUMA’S KNOW HOW YOU CAN’T PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT! AND YOU CENSOR ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE!

Note: This is where it tries to demean me by questioning my “popularity”. It doesn’t realize that hanging your hopes and dreams on someone else’s blog instead of having the ability to keep your own is more demeaning. It also fails to realize that I’m not desperately trying to get anyone to look at me. LOOK AT ME! I MATTER! PLEASE LOOK AT ME.

HOPE MY CAP’S PISSED YOU OFF!

SEE YA LOSER!!

McCAIN/PALIN 2008!!!!!!!!

Note: It tries once more to get under my skin, but sadly fails. It’s a little sad in it’s attempts to make itself felt. Some day, when it has grown bigger and has more Intertoobs experience, it will realize that it’s attempts at biting humor failed miserably. It will see that all it did was give me fodder for a post so that myself and my two readers can laugh hysterically together.

Sadly, that was the end of the message.

I do have a message for it though:

You are nothing to me but another group of rightwing fanatics who are at war with me and my family. You deserve nothing but derision and scorn from me and will receive nothing more. I will take nothing you say seriously and will use everything like the above as examples of why PUMAs are irrelevant and, well, insane. If you want to make your mark on the world outside of your own bubble, perhaps you should appoint a new ambassador- one with grammar skills and the ability to follow basic Internet etiquette.

I like geeky stuff, politics, squirrels and monkeys.