I ran across this post a couple of days ago when following links from an EC1 blog. Fancy begins by describing an online community of which she says ” I should stay away from for the sake of my health and general well-being”. She mentions that there is a new uproar within this community because:
The latest: a fictional character was ruined by choosing to stay pregnant at the age of 20. Not considering abortion as an option was âmidievalâ on the part of the writers and the other characters on the show.
[...]Iâm not saying what Iâm about to say because I am changing my stance on abortion. Iâm saying it because Iâm a feminist and itâs the feminist thing to say: abortion is not the only choice, and itâs not the only choice we need to be concerned with protecting, either.
You really should go read the post. It’s fantastic.
I wholeheartedly agree with the entire post. I have a really hard time reading rad-fem sites2 because so many times there seems to be a consensus that the only “choice” is abortion. The above quote about a fictional character being a prime example. A woman is poor or alone or too young then it seems logical they should have an abortion. And if that woman chooses not to have an abortion then she’s being oppressed and/or brainwashed.
Recently I read a particularly disturbing post regarding the “I’m pregnant!” announcement of Jamie Spears. The author is a feminist and seemed to pride herself on the fact that when she discussed this issue with her teenage daughter the daughter said “This wouldn’t happen to me because you’d make me get an abortion”3 . What bothered me so much was not that this blogger is pro-women’s reproductive health4 . It was that her daughter didn’t seem to have a choice. Yeah, her daughter would get an abortion, but why would she feel she would have to? Isn’t the idea behind choice that women get to decide on their own behalf whether or not they will have the child? That’s what I thought anyway. What exactly is the difference between “forced childbirth” and “forced abortion”? Not much, in my mind.
Lil’ Miss knows she has a choice. More than one, in fact. I have always taught her that the pro-choice movement was about a woman’s right to decide her own reproductive health. Those choices include:
Being in a hetero or homosexual relationship- or not
Having sex- or not
Using birth control- or not
Staying pregnant- or not
Keeping the child- or not
Having children- or not
She’s 16 right now and has made some of her own reproductive health decisions. I’ve stood behind her 100%, even when it chapped my ass to do so. I have never forced her to do anything she didn’t want to do with her own health. I have threatened, begged, and coerced, but maintained throughout that these herchoices and ones that she would have to live with for the rest of her life (or not, as the case may be). As her mother and as another woman I support her right to make these choices, even if I don’t agree with them.
I have seen pharmacists refuse to provide birth control, states outlaw abortion all together5 and people up in arms over a possible vaccine for cervical cancer. I’ve seen the “other side” crying and screaming to get their anti-women’s reproductive health stance heard and then I read that a daughter would be forced to have an abortion (to protect her future, no doubt, but that’s not the point). I wanted to scream. But I didn’t even blog it. Until I read Fancy’s post I just felt like “This is the way it is. For us or against us all the way”. I wanted to reach through that computer and hug her6.
Choices about woman’s reproductive health are more than just getting an abortion because you’re too young/poor/not at that “place in your life”. And teaching the lesson of those choices shouldn’t focus strictly on abortion. There are so many more choices than for or against that. I think you’ve made your mark when your child says to you “If I was Jamie Spears I know you’d support my decision to…[fill in the blank]”
What I call these sites, which may or may not be an apt description. Doesn’t matter to me one bit. [↩]
Or something close to that. I’m not going back to look. [↩]
My own spin on pro-choice, because I feel it’s a more accurate description. And I want to put the emphasis on the aspect of this issue that I feel is important. [↩]
Yes, I know that was overturned. That’s not the point. [↩]
I have never read this blogger before, but plan on keeping up. [↩]
When a Choice Isn’t
I ran across this post a couple of days ago when following links from an EC1 blog. Fancy begins by describing an online community of which she says ” I should stay away from for the sake of my health and general well-being”. She mentions that there is a new uproar within this community because:
You really should go read the post. It’s fantastic.
I wholeheartedly agree with the entire post. I have a really hard time reading rad-fem sites2 because so many times there seems to be a consensus that the only “choice” is abortion. The above quote about a fictional character being a prime example. A woman is poor or alone or too young then it seems logical they should have an abortion. And if that woman chooses not to have an abortion then she’s being oppressed and/or brainwashed.
Recently I read a particularly disturbing post regarding the “I’m pregnant!” announcement of Jamie Spears. The author is a feminist and seemed to pride herself on the fact that when she discussed this issue with her teenage daughter the daughter said “This wouldn’t happen to me because you’d make me get an abortion”3 . What bothered me so much was not that this blogger is pro-women’s reproductive health4 . It was that her daughter didn’t seem to have a choice. Yeah, her daughter would get an abortion, but why would she feel she would have to? Isn’t the idea behind choice that women get to decide on their own behalf whether or not they will have the child? That’s what I thought anyway. What exactly is the difference between “forced childbirth” and “forced abortion”? Not much, in my mind.
Lil’ Miss knows she has a choice. More than one, in fact. I have always taught her that the pro-choice movement was about a woman’s right to decide her own reproductive health. Those choices include:
She’s 16 right now and has made some of her own reproductive health decisions. I’ve stood behind her 100%, even when it chapped my ass to do so. I have never forced her to do anything she didn’t want to do with her own health. I have threatened, begged, and coerced, but maintained throughout that these her choices and ones that she would have to live with for the rest of her life (or not, as the case may be). As her mother and as another woman I support her right to make these choices, even if I don’t agree with them.
I have seen pharmacists refuse to provide birth control, states outlaw abortion all together5 and people up in arms over a possible vaccine for cervical cancer. I’ve seen the “other side” crying and screaming to get their anti-women’s reproductive health stance heard and then I read that a daughter would be forced to have an abortion (to protect her future, no doubt, but that’s not the point). I wanted to scream. But I didn’t even blog it. Until I read Fancy’s post I just felt like “This is the way it is. For us or against us all the way”. I wanted to reach through that computer and hug her6.
Choices about woman’s reproductive health are more than just getting an abortion because you’re too young/poor/not at that “place in your life”. And teaching the lesson of those choices shouldn’t focus strictly on abortion. There are so many more choices than for or against that. I think you’ve made your mark when your child says to you “If I was Jamie Spears I know you’d support my decision to…[fill in the blank]”
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