I have to point and laugh at Paris Hilton. Along with so many other folks (doing the pointing and laughing). See, last fall she was pulled over for drunk driving and got 3 years of probation and a suspended license for it. Well, shit, less than a month after that sentencing she got stopped for driving with no headlights. Memo to Paris: If you’re going to drive on a suspended license, it’s probably in your best interest to turn your damned lights on. Anyway, moving on. So, now she’s passing around a petition to have Schwarzenegger pardon her from that horribly long month and half she’ll have to do in the celebrity pokey. I smell a rehab deal just around the corner, but that could just be someone’s barbecue. The funniest is the damned petition on the myspace page (NOTE: if you know me at all you know I hate both celebrity gossip and myspace, but this shit is too funny). A call to action! Let’s have a look, shall we?
Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.
OMG! She’s an heiress. And she just can’t handle that half inch thick matress she’ll be forced to sleep on. And…and who will be there to take her picture? The HORROR!
Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic “House of Wax”. In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer.
She is not notable for helping feed the homeless, easing the suffering of terminally ill people, or helping to build Habit for Humanity homes. But that’s ok. She’s a celebrity and that itself is a sacrifice for the less fortunate. Who else is going to give them reason to laugh and giggle? She’s doing a service to the little folk by being pretty, dammit! And that is all that matters.
We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn’t go to jail, either.
Paris should have had a driver. Honestly, what kind of true blue-blooded heiress and celebrity would go to a party, get her drink on, and have to drive herself? That’s enough to garner my sympathy, truth be told. I feel bad that the poor little girl had to drive herself. Shameful! Free her just because… Oh, wait. She’s not going to jail for drunk driving. She’s going to jail because she still couldn’t find anyone to drive her and so she was forced to violate her probation and thumb her nose at the judge. Well, shit, it’s still not her fault. She had to drive to get where someone could take her picture, driver or no. Bah!
As depicted on Friday night’s episode “Nancy Grace” on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been “slapped on the wrist” for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few, were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges. Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week. Brandy’s California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulting in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and A WOMAN HAS BEEN KILLED most likely due to her reckless driving!
Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time. [emphasis mine]
How dare they single out the heiress to the Hilton fortune when they had so many other opportunities to single out other, not quite as rich and pretty, people! Sure, Paris didn’t do a day for her initial arrest, either, but we’re counting on the fact that Paris fans are truly lacking in the gray matter. I’ve read that she went months before she was even sentenced to probation, but I don’t believe it. And I’m pretty sure it was a probation violation that she was sentenced to jail for- months after the occurrence – but I don’t believe that either. Paris is a MARTYR!
This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn’t hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday.She is distraught and understandably afraid.
She learned her lesson! Don’t you know that? Sure, she added to her initial punishment because she just couldn’t get anyone to drive her (and obviously forgot how to turn on headlights), but she’s afraid! The lesson has finally sunk in. Doesn’t that cruel judge realize this? Isn’t there something in the Constitution about cruel and unusual punishment? If she goes to the clink she will never get out and return to her old life. Just ask Martha Stewart! Look at what happened…oh, wait, nevermind. There will be no new pictures or coolly uttered phrases from Paris for 45 days. Think of the children!
WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT to save our Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility! Please sign to tell The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California, to think about the welfare of this young woman who has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation have been served with after a mistake they have made . If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.
Think about her welfare, people! She’ll have to use ordinary shampoo and comb her own hair. She’ll have to take orders from…gasp…ordinary people. And the smell! How will she live through it? And, for pity’s sake, this beautiful, smart, er, thoughtful young lady didn’t commit crimes like Richard Nixon and he went free. Because a whole 45 days behind bars, without those lovely little french pastries in the morning after a long night of partying, will be the end of poor Paris. Don’t you see it? Join the already sympathetic masses (all 1, 808- so far- of them) and sign for the release of America’s darling.
Mwahaha! If Schwarzenegger grants this chick a pardon I will walk to California to spit right on him. Bet I’d get more than 45 days for that.
Think of the Children!
I have to point and laugh at Paris Hilton. Along with so many other folks (doing the pointing and laughing). See, last fall she was pulled over for drunk driving and got 3 years of probation and a suspended license for it. Well, shit, less than a month after that sentencing she got stopped for driving with no headlights. Memo to Paris: If you’re going to drive on a suspended license, it’s probably in your best interest to turn your damned lights on. Anyway, moving on. So, now she’s passing around a petition to have Schwarzenegger pardon her from that horribly long month and half she’ll have to do in the celebrity pokey. I smell a rehab deal just around the corner, but that could just be someone’s barbecue. The funniest is the damned petition on the myspace page (NOTE: if you know me at all you know I hate both celebrity gossip and myspace, but this shit is too funny). A call to action! Let’s have a look, shall we?
OMG! She’s an heiress. And she just can’t handle that half inch thick matress she’ll be forced to sleep on. And…and who will be there to take her picture? The HORROR!
She is not notable for helping feed the homeless, easing the suffering of terminally ill people, or helping to build Habit for Humanity homes. But that’s ok. She’s a celebrity and that itself is a sacrifice for the less fortunate. Who else is going to give them reason to laugh and giggle? She’s doing a service to the little folk by being pretty, dammit! And that is all that matters.
Paris should have had a driver. Honestly, what kind of true blue-blooded heiress and celebrity would go to a party, get her drink on, and have to drive herself? That’s enough to garner my sympathy, truth be told. I feel bad that the poor little girl had to drive herself. Shameful! Free her just because… Oh, wait. She’s not going to jail for drunk driving. She’s going to jail because she still couldn’t find anyone to drive her and so she was forced to violate her probation and thumb her nose at the judge. Well, shit, it’s still not her fault. She had to drive to get where someone could take her picture, driver or no. Bah!
How dare they single out the heiress to the Hilton fortune when they had so many other opportunities to single out other, not quite as rich and pretty, people! Sure, Paris didn’t do a day for her initial arrest, either, but we’re counting on the fact that Paris fans are truly lacking in the gray matter. I’ve read that she went months before she was even sentenced to probation, but I don’t believe it. And I’m pretty sure it was a probation violation that she was sentenced to jail for- months after the occurrence – but I don’t believe that either. Paris is a MARTYR!
She learned her lesson! Don’t you know that? Sure, she added to her initial punishment because she just couldn’t get anyone to drive her (and obviously forgot how to turn on headlights), but she’s afraid! The lesson has finally sunk in. Doesn’t that cruel judge realize this? Isn’t there something in the Constitution about cruel and unusual punishment? If she goes to the clink she will never get out and return to her old life. Just ask Martha Stewart! Look at what happened…oh, wait, nevermind. There will be no new pictures or coolly uttered phrases from Paris for 45 days. Think of the children!
Think about her welfare, people! She’ll have to use ordinary shampoo and comb her own hair. She’ll have to take orders from…gasp…ordinary people. And the smell! How will she live through it? And, for pity’s sake, this beautiful, smart, er, thoughtful young lady didn’t commit crimes like Richard Nixon and he went free. Because a whole 45 days behind bars, without those lovely little french pastries in the morning after a long night of partying, will be the end of poor Paris. Don’t you see it? Join the already sympathetic masses (all 1, 808- so far- of them) and sign for the release of America’s darling.
Mwahaha! If Schwarzenegger grants this chick a pardon I will walk to California to spit right on him. Bet I’d get more than 45 days for that.
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