Updated below
I’ve done a post about this before. But that was my old blog and I erased that shit. Now, it looks like it’s time to another one. And this is one of the topics I really try to avoid because I get so damned hot under the collar. But it smacked me in the face and I feel the need to reply. The best place to do that is here. Right?
Mark wrote about the outlawing of the word “nigger”. I agree that there should be no law against it, because it falls under free speech. Where do we stop then? But he thinks it’s just a word, an ugly word, but a only word. He says that it’s appropriate if it’s used in the correct context. With all due respect to Mark, I have to say HUH? I have a small issue with some of the commenters as well (you’ll see why). So, I brought my issue here because, well, I feel a rant coming on.
Now, I’m not black. But my daughter is. I say she’s black because she says she’s black. She was forced by white folks to choose one or the other. I don’t blame her. I encourage her to learn about strong black women (particularly American black women). I want her to embrace her heritage, learn about it, and be proud of it. Is that wrong of me to focus on her black half? I don’t think so. Society views her now as a black child and they will view her as a black woman. That’s what she is and what she always will be. Because of that I take up her fight. Hers, but no one else’s. In her interest I don’t allow anyone to say “nigger” or the less offensive “nigga” (there’s a difference and if you don’t know what it is then shhh). Lil’ Miss isn’t allowed to say it, her aunt’s/uncles/grandparents aren’t allowed to say, and her friends aren’t allowed to say it. Period.
Point of fact, “nigger” cannot in any sense of the word be applied to whites. Or, really, any other ethnicity. That word was born out of ignorance, hate, and utter oppression. Historically, the American slave owners bought slaves from Spaniards, who called the slaves “negroes” (“black”). Some slave owners either couldn’t learn to pronounce the word correctly or simply refused and made due with “nigger”. The word was and is used to denigrate an entire race of people, by people who didn’t/don’t believe that blacks were/are even human. “Ugly” doesn’t even begin to describe that word to me.
Then we get to the age old “They call themselves that but whine because we call them that too”*. Bullshit. Fucking bullshit. I personally don’t believe that blacks using “nigga” takes the power out of the more offensive term. Of course, I don’t believe calling myself a cunt makes that word any less demeaning. But I know plenty of black folks that see it as taking the word away from white people and bringing the power of it back to themselves. Similar to women calling each other “bitch”. When your friend says it it’s a term of endearment, when an enemy says it the fight is on.
I won’t insult anyone by saying “I’ve got black friends!” and shit like that. My real interest is in helping change the world of my daughter. Because I wanted people in her life to understand my point I sat down with her family members (they’re mine, too, according to us, but some people don’t see it that way) and I changed Lil’ Miss’ grandmother by talking to her about why it’s never ok to empower people to use that word. It gives people just another reason to use it and there was never a good reason to use it to begin with. Can’t say the same about the rest of the family, but it was interesting.
And the tired “They can do it, why can’t I?” spiel makes my fucking eyeballs bleed. There is no reason to use it. None. That especially holds true to anglo-Americans. I’m sorry, but it’s fucking true. If you can’t say the word in a room full of blacks, then shut up and quit crying about how hypocritical they are. If you would never date a member of another race because it’s “Just not right” then shut up. If your recent bloodline didn’t include slaves, then shut up, because you don’t have a right to be offended because you someone calls you on using a racist word.
“OMG! She used the race card!”
In October of 2005 my daughter was 13. She was asked to go to a school dance by a nice young white boy. She was thrilled. The boys parents refused to let him go because they didn’t want him to associate with those kinds of people. He lived in the upstairs of a duplex, we owned a four bedroom 1800 sq.foot house. His dad didn’t work, my husband works like a dog. Did I mention his mother was a DUI offender? Does it matter? February 2006 my daughter was 14. She asked her history teacher why they weren’t recognizing Black History Month. He told her “I just didn’t think it was that important and we have too much other stuff to go over.” That was school board policy until I wrote that teacher a letter, cc’d to two local newspapers, and demanded to know how he could look an African-American child in the face and tell her that her history just wasn’t important (Awaiting might remember that post). I won’t keep going with my daughter’s life experiences. I could go back to the time when my aunt said “Just what we need another one of those” when Lil’ Miss was a baby…Oh, wait. I just did, huh? I take those experiences to my heart because they happened to my baby. Now, just imagine if that happened 1000x worse to your grandparents, your parents, you and now your kids. Certainly your kids don’t have it as bad as your grandparents, but they’re still dealing with shit that no white kid can truly understand. That no person should ever have to deal with ever.
White people can’t claim “nigger”. There is no context for it except to discuss the word itself. There is really no place for it in normal conversation about other people. Personally, I think the word needs to be allowed to die a slow and quiet death, as have so many other useless and ugly words. It really should be one of those words that are only uttered in the dark of night, under the fear of public humiliation. Unfortunately, I really don’t see that happening. And that’s just fucking sad.
And, by the way, I feel the same way about Holocaust deniers. And I didn’t even know what a “kike” was until I came online (as an adult, no less) and still don’t understand it. I most certainly would never use it in any context. What other context would it be used in except by anti-Semitics? I’m thinking none.
Please keep in mind that I don’t believe this falls under the “PC is bullshit” line I sometimes spout off about. Because the use of these types of words is way deeper than just PC. The history of the word takes it out of that arena.
Update:
I just want to make it very clear that I’m not calling Mark a bigot or racist or anything like that. I’ve discussed this with him via email and I hope I’ve smoothed things over a bit. His point was that words shouldn’t be outlawed because they hurt someone’s feelings, that knowing the historical usage of this word – by both blacks and whites – is important, too. I agree with that. I didn’t make myself clear to that point and I sincerely apologize to Mark for making it seem that I felt that way about him. I read it as him saying “It’s just a word and why get hung up over it”. I was wrong. Period.
I wasn’t wrong to write this post though, just in particular wording of it. If it makes one person think, then I did well. If it makes one person stop saying “Well, they can say it, why can’t I?”, then I’m happy. And if it makes another person stop saying “It can mean a white person too”, then I’ve done a good job.
* This was from a commenter and I got a little hot about it. Hence the post.
Related posts:
- Rush chimes in on Hackett withdrawl
- Black History Month not important
- Home
- Can they go any lower?
‘Round and ‘Round we go
Updated below
I’ve done a post about this before. But that was my old blog and I erased that shit. Now, it looks like it’s time to another one. And this is one of the topics I really try to avoid because I get so damned hot under the collar. But it smacked me in the face and I feel the need to reply. The best place to do that is here. Right?
Mark wrote about the outlawing of the word “nigger”. I agree that there should be no law against it, because it falls under free speech. Where do we stop then? But he thinks it’s just a word, an ugly word, but a only word. He says that it’s appropriate if it’s used in the correct context. With all due respect to Mark, I have to say HUH? I have a small issue with some of the commenters as well (you’ll see why). So, I brought my issue here because, well, I feel a rant coming on.
Now, I’m not black. But my daughter is. I say she’s black because she says she’s black. She was forced by white folks to choose one or the other. I don’t blame her. I encourage her to learn about strong black women (particularly American black women). I want her to embrace her heritage, learn about it, and be proud of it. Is that wrong of me to focus on her black half? I don’t think so. Society views her now as a black child and they will view her as a black woman. That’s what she is and what she always will be. Because of that I take up her fight. Hers, but no one else’s. In her interest I don’t allow anyone to say “nigger” or the less offensive “nigga” (there’s a difference and if you don’t know what it is then shhh). Lil’ Miss isn’t allowed to say it, her aunt’s/uncles/grandparents aren’t allowed to say, and her friends aren’t allowed to say it. Period.
Point of fact, “nigger” cannot in any sense of the word be applied to whites. Or, really, any other ethnicity. That word was born out of ignorance, hate, and utter oppression. Historically, the American slave owners bought slaves from Spaniards, who called the slaves “negroes” (“black”). Some slave owners either couldn’t learn to pronounce the word correctly or simply refused and made due with “nigger”. The word was and is used to denigrate an entire race of people, by people who didn’t/don’t believe that blacks were/are even human. “Ugly” doesn’t even begin to describe that word to me.
Then we get to the age old “They call themselves that but whine because we call them that too”*. Bullshit. Fucking bullshit. I personally don’t believe that blacks using “nigga” takes the power out of the more offensive term. Of course, I don’t believe calling myself a cunt makes that word any less demeaning. But I know plenty of black folks that see it as taking the word away from white people and bringing the power of it back to themselves. Similar to women calling each other “bitch”. When your friend says it it’s a term of endearment, when an enemy says it the fight is on.
I won’t insult anyone by saying “I’ve got black friends!” and shit like that. My real interest is in helping change the world of my daughter. Because I wanted people in her life to understand my point I sat down with her family members (they’re mine, too, according to us, but some people don’t see it that way) and I changed Lil’ Miss’ grandmother by talking to her about why it’s never ok to empower people to use that word. It gives people just another reason to use it and there was never a good reason to use it to begin with. Can’t say the same about the rest of the family, but it was interesting.
And the tired “They can do it, why can’t I?” spiel makes my fucking eyeballs bleed. There is no reason to use it. None. That especially holds true to anglo-Americans. I’m sorry, but it’s fucking true. If you can’t say the word in a room full of blacks, then shut up and quit crying about how hypocritical they are. If you would never date a member of another race because it’s “Just not right” then shut up. If your recent bloodline didn’t include slaves, then shut up, because you don’t have a right to be offended because you someone calls you on using a racist word.
“OMG! She used the race card!”
In October of 2005 my daughter was 13. She was asked to go to a school dance by a nice young white boy. She was thrilled. The boys parents refused to let him go because they didn’t want him to associate with those kinds of people. He lived in the upstairs of a duplex, we owned a four bedroom 1800 sq.foot house. His dad didn’t work, my husband works like a dog. Did I mention his mother was a DUI offender? Does it matter? February 2006 my daughter was 14. She asked her history teacher why they weren’t recognizing Black History Month. He told her “I just didn’t think it was that important and we have too much other stuff to go over.” That was school board policy until I wrote that teacher a letter, cc’d to two local newspapers, and demanded to know how he could look an African-American child in the face and tell her that her history just wasn’t important (Awaiting might remember that post). I won’t keep going with my daughter’s life experiences. I could go back to the time when my aunt said “Just what we need another one of those” when Lil’ Miss was a baby…Oh, wait. I just did, huh? I take those experiences to my heart because they happened to my baby. Now, just imagine if that happened 1000x worse to your grandparents, your parents, you and now your kids. Certainly your kids don’t have it as bad as your grandparents, but they’re still dealing with shit that no white kid can truly understand. That no person should ever have to deal with ever.
White people can’t claim “nigger”. There is no context for it except to discuss the word itself. There is really no place for it in normal conversation about other people. Personally, I think the word needs to be allowed to die a slow and quiet death, as have so many other useless and ugly words. It really should be one of those words that are only uttered in the dark of night, under the fear of public humiliation. Unfortunately, I really don’t see that happening. And that’s just fucking sad.
And, by the way, I feel the same way about Holocaust deniers. And I didn’t even know what a “kike” was until I came online (as an adult, no less) and still don’t understand it. I most certainly would never use it in any context. What other context would it be used in except by anti-Semitics? I’m thinking none.
Please keep in mind that I don’t believe this falls under the “PC is bullshit” line I sometimes spout off about. Because the use of these types of words is way deeper than just PC. The history of the word takes it out of that arena.
Update:
I just want to make it very clear that I’m not calling Mark a bigot or racist or anything like that. I’ve discussed this with him via email and I hope I’ve smoothed things over a bit. His point was that words shouldn’t be outlawed because they hurt someone’s feelings, that knowing the historical usage of this word – by both blacks and whites – is important, too. I agree with that. I didn’t make myself clear to that point and I sincerely apologize to Mark for making it seem that I felt that way about him. I read it as him saying “It’s just a word and why get hung up over it”. I was wrong. Period.
I wasn’t wrong to write this post though, just in particular wording of it. If it makes one person think, then I did well. If it makes one person stop saying “Well, they can say it, why can’t I?”, then I’m happy. And if it makes another person stop saying “It can mean a white person too”, then I’ve done a good job.
* This was from a commenter and I got a little hot about it. Hence the post.
Related posts: