Poor Birdie gets No Chicks

Just when you think you’ve got problems, along comes an article about how much worse off some other poor dude is than you.*

BERLIN – Three teenagers may be on the hook for a hefty fine if a court decides that their festive firecrackers outside an eastern German farm scared the libido right out of an ostrich named Gustav.

…According to his lawsuit, the farmer claims that fireworks set off by the boys made the previously lustful Gustav both apathetic and depressed, and thus unable to perform for a half-a-year with his two female breeding partners.

Mwahahahaha! Whodathunkit! Do they sell ostrich vlagra? This could be a very lucrative area of research and development. Of course, if the farmer was smart he’d have harvested Gustav’s sperm, froze it, and be done with the whole deal. Isn’t that what chicken farmer’s do?

Now, just take a moment and imagine not Gustav and his playmates, but Gustav getting his sperm harvested. OMG! I think I’ve wet myself from the laughter.

That is all.

* Boy, was that sentence messed up or what? I’m not fixin’ it either!

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