TheMan is going to take over the PC soon, so I haven’t got much time. Pressure! I hate pressure!!
Ok, enough with the hysterics. My topic for today is…Soap opera fan forums. Have you ever been to one? Do you participate in one? If you answered “yes” to any of the previous then you know what my beef is. A little back story may be necessary, methinks.
I’ve been a SAHM since Baby was born. So, I get bored. And crazy. I don’t get out around big peoples much. So, I started watching my old time fav “Days of Our Lives” (I hadn’t watched it since Marlena got possessed by the devil. Heh.) Well, pretty soon that shit bored the hell out of me. Honestly, can John Black suck his nostrils in any further or cock his eyebrow any higher? And the dude that plays Roman is fucking ridiculous with that much botox in his forhead. Expression, man, don’t leave home without it! Oh, and the stories were so s-l-o-w. Honestly, it’s taken them over a year to wrap up a baby’s daddy storyline and now they’re starting another one. Enough of the recap bullshit. I stopped watching it and started reading a blog that posts daily summaries. It’s a lot quicker than sitting through that bullshit and I don’t have to look at really, really bad acting. However, I do have to read shit about how wonderful the actors are. Whatever, peeps, if that makes your boat float.
Ok, so I’m not watching that, but I caught “As the World Turns” as a kidnapped baby story was just wrapping up. OH MY GOD! There is honest to gods proof that there are some soap actors that know what their doing (they just don’t work for DOOL. Hello? Kristen Alfonso? Yeah, your pretend 6-year-old son just died in your arms, ya think you could shed an actual tear?). Anyway, I was sucked in. Then the mom who just got her baby back died of cardiomyopathy- in the span of a week that sl was wrapped up. Very nice to keep shit moving, folks. I actually thought that all soap operas were as sleep inducing as the one I’d stopped watching (*pay attention, Awaiting*)
Now, about those forums. Ok, so last week I was a very very busy girl. I didn’t have time to watch my stories. So I went on the hunt for recaps. By the gods, some of those people are absolutely insane about their soap operas. They talk about it like the characters are actually living in their own home towns. They hate certain actors/actresses simply because of the roles they play (like they can’t separate the two). Honestly, this is like stalker heaven or something. Oh! And never mention John Black’s nostril sucking to some people. They get very testy with you about that. Apparently, it’s his trademark and who cares if it is also bad acting by Drake whats-his-name. How dare I! That’s actor bashing and they’ll have none of it, I tell you, none of it!!
Personally, I’d be very afraid if I were a soap star. I’d have security sticking out of my ass, attached to my hip, whatever. Because these people are insane about their soap stars! And most of them think that the actors are really the characters in real life. Um, yeah, I’m doubtful that so-and-so actress is going around slashing up teenage kids for real, so why are you wishing her a slow and miserable death? I’m so confused.
I remember when BtVS was cancelled. I was so pissed at SAM because I knew it was her fault for thinking more of herself (and honestly, she did much better as Buffy than some tramp in “The Grudge”. WTF is that?) and forgetting the rest of the cast. I wished that Josh Whedon would have just killed Buffy off for sure and let Willow take over. Of course, that would have required a name change, but that’s beside the point. I’m not obsessing over SAM as Buffy and I’m not equating Buffy with SAM. If they would have recast that wench then I would’ve been just as happy, you know what I’m saying? I’m not obsessing and mixing the two of them up.
Where the hell am I going with this? Gods only know because, quite frankly, I keep getting interrupted (I know, you’re shocked aren’t you?) and that does nothing for my flow. I swear I’m going to start writing this down beforehand and copying it here. Bullshit fucking interruptions. What? You can’t plug in the damned phone yourself? You need written fucking instructions or something? Hello! Leave me alone and quit messing up my damned narration, man. Shit. Now I completely forget what my point was. I’m sure it was going to be downright hilarious as I laugh at those so wrapped up in “stories” that they can’t separate real from not. DAMNIT! Much like the licks and the center of the tootsie roll pop, the world may never know.
Real life v. My stories.
TheMan is going to take over the PC soon, so I haven’t got much time. Pressure! I hate pressure!!
Ok, enough with the hysterics. My topic for today is…Soap opera fan forums. Have you ever been to one? Do you participate in one? If you answered “yes” to any of the previous then you know what my beef is. A little back story may be necessary, methinks.
I’ve been a SAHM since Baby was born. So, I get bored. And crazy. I don’t get out around big peoples much. So, I started watching my old time fav “Days of Our Lives” (I hadn’t watched it since Marlena got possessed by the devil. Heh.) Well, pretty soon that shit bored the hell out of me. Honestly, can John Black suck his nostrils in any further or cock his eyebrow any higher? And the dude that plays Roman is fucking ridiculous with that much botox in his forhead. Expression, man, don’t leave home without it! Oh, and the stories were so s-l-o-w. Honestly, it’s taken them over a year to wrap up a baby’s daddy storyline and now they’re starting another one. Enough of the recap bullshit. I stopped watching it and started reading a blog that posts daily summaries. It’s a lot quicker than sitting through that bullshit and I don’t have to look at really, really bad acting. However, I do have to read shit about how wonderful the actors are. Whatever, peeps, if that makes your boat float.
Ok, so I’m not watching that, but I caught “As the World Turns” as a kidnapped baby story was just wrapping up. OH MY GOD! There is honest to gods proof that there are some soap actors that know what their doing (they just don’t work for DOOL. Hello? Kristen Alfonso? Yeah, your pretend 6-year-old son just died in your arms, ya think you could shed an actual tear?). Anyway, I was sucked in. Then the mom who just got her baby back died of cardiomyopathy- in the span of a week that sl was wrapped up. Very nice to keep shit moving, folks. I actually thought that all soap operas were as sleep inducing as the one I’d stopped watching (*pay attention, Awaiting*)
Now, about those forums. Ok, so last week I was a very very busy girl. I didn’t have time to watch my stories. So I went on the hunt for recaps. By the gods, some of those people are absolutely insane about their soap operas. They talk about it like the characters are actually living in their own home towns. They hate certain actors/actresses simply because of the roles they play (like they can’t separate the two). Honestly, this is like stalker heaven or something. Oh! And never mention John Black’s nostril sucking to some people. They get very testy with you about that. Apparently, it’s his trademark and who cares if it is also bad acting by Drake whats-his-name. How dare I! That’s actor bashing and they’ll have none of it, I tell you, none of it!!
Personally, I’d be very afraid if I were a soap star. I’d have security sticking out of my ass, attached to my hip, whatever. Because these people are insane about their soap stars! And most of them think that the actors are really the characters in real life. Um, yeah, I’m doubtful that so-and-so actress is going around slashing up teenage kids for real, so why are you wishing her a slow and miserable death? I’m so confused.
I remember when BtVS was cancelled. I was so pissed at SAM because I knew it was her fault for thinking more of herself (and honestly, she did much better as Buffy than some tramp in “The Grudge”. WTF is that?) and forgetting the rest of the cast. I wished that Josh Whedon would have just killed Buffy off for sure and let Willow take over. Of course, that would have required a name change, but that’s beside the point. I’m not obsessing over SAM as Buffy and I’m not equating Buffy with SAM. If they would have recast that wench then I would’ve been just as happy, you know what I’m saying? I’m not obsessing and mixing the two of them up.
Where the hell am I going with this? Gods only know because, quite frankly, I keep getting interrupted (I know, you’re shocked aren’t you?) and that does nothing for my flow. I swear I’m going to start writing this down beforehand and copying it here. Bullshit fucking interruptions. What? You can’t plug in the damned phone yourself? You need written fucking instructions or something? Hello! Leave me alone and quit messing up my damned narration, man. Shit. Now I completely forget what my point was. I’m sure it was going to be downright hilarious as I laugh at those so wrapped up in “stories” that they can’t separate real from not. DAMNIT! Much like the licks and the center of the tootsie roll pop, the world may never know.
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