I finally had it out with Cock-eyed Bill. I caught the dickhead throwing his weeds into our yard and that was the last straw. I told TheMan if he didn’t talk to him I’d deal with him myself. Well, TheMan didn’t talk to him, so that left it all to me.
Me: What’d you just throw in our yard?
Him: I’m sick of your crabapples falling in our yard. You fucking people need to control your trees.
Me: Excuse me? Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not some child off the streets, asshole, and you need to realize that. I strongly suggest that you keep your shit on your side of the line and leave our shit alone. I’m not doing this anymore.
Me: Oh, that hurt. I’ve never been called a bitch before, now I’m going to cry. Boo fucking hoo. Now, I’m not going to get into some kind of insult match with a 50+ year-old man who still lives at home with mommy and doesn’t have a job. I’ve told you don’t come on our side of the line, don’t so much as extend your arm over our side of the line, or I’ll file suit against your ass. I realize that’d be a real big waste of time considering you don’t work and live at home with your mother but I don’t care.
Him: You make sure to tell your husband when he mows the grass not to run over our cucumbers next time.
Me: hahahahahahaha! (actually I was just laughing). You’re an idiot. How about making sure your cucumbers don’t interfer with TheMan’s ability to mow his own lawn? That give you some kind of right to mutilate our bushes? You’re nuts. And this conversation is over.
So then I started walking back to the house. He was spouting some shit off about “oh, get a job” (Ha! Lot of room to talk, dude) and “take care of your baby’s grave”. I just laughed some more. This guy actually thought our son was buried in our backyard. “You really are as stupid as you look” was the last thing I said to him.
Now, TheMan is going to be pissed because he didn’t want me to say anything to Cock-eyed Dickhead. But that’s ok. Because I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately and I told TheMan that I was going to have it out with CEB the next time I saw him disrespecting our space. I don’t know why he would’ve thought I was lying about that. I expect soon my bush will die because fuckhead will poison them. We’re getting a fence and a really ugly dog. Then let the bastard step over the line. Hmmmph.
Just between me, you, and whoever else stumbles across this, I’m pissed that TheMan didn’t have big enough balls to handle this situation himself. But I guess just because you’re a 5 year Army veteran doesn’t mean that you have the courage of the average house cat. Who woulda thunk it?
Cock-eyed Bill is an ass
I finally had it out with Cock-eyed Bill. I caught the dickhead throwing his weeds into our yard and that was the last straw. I told TheMan if he didn’t talk to him I’d deal with him myself. Well, TheMan didn’t talk to him, so that left it all to me.
Me: What’d you just throw in our yard?
Him: I’m sick of your crabapples falling in our yard. You fucking people need to control your trees.
Me: Excuse me? Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not some child off the streets, asshole, and you need to realize that. I strongly suggest that you keep your shit on your side of the line and leave our shit alone. I’m not doing this anymore.
Him: blah blah blah blah bitch blah blah son-of-a-bitch blah blah
Me: Oh, that hurt. I’ve never been called a bitch before, now I’m going to cry. Boo fucking hoo. Now, I’m not going to get into some kind of insult match with a 50+ year-old man who still lives at home with mommy and doesn’t have a job. I’ve told you don’t come on our side of the line, don’t so much as extend your arm over our side of the line, or I’ll file suit against your ass. I realize that’d be a real big waste of time considering you don’t work and live at home with your mother but I don’t care.
Him: You make sure to tell your husband when he mows the grass not to run over our cucumbers next time.
Me: hahahahahahaha! (actually I was just laughing). You’re an idiot. How about making sure your cucumbers don’t interfer with TheMan’s ability to mow his own lawn? That give you some kind of right to mutilate our bushes? You’re nuts. And this conversation is over.
So then I started walking back to the house. He was spouting some shit off about “oh, get a job” (Ha! Lot of room to talk, dude) and “take care of your baby’s grave”. I just laughed some more. This guy actually thought our son was buried in our backyard. “You really are as stupid as you look” was the last thing I said to him.
Now, TheMan is going to be pissed because he didn’t want me to say anything to Cock-eyed Dickhead. But that’s ok. Because I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately and I told TheMan that I was going to have it out with CEB the next time I saw him disrespecting our space. I don’t know why he would’ve thought I was lying about that. I expect soon my bush will die because fuckhead will poison them. We’re getting a fence and a really ugly dog. Then let the bastard step over the line. Hmmmph.
Just between me, you, and whoever else stumbles across this, I’m pissed that TheMan didn’t have big enough balls to handle this situation himself. But I guess just because you’re a 5 year Army veteran doesn’t mean that you have the courage of the average house cat. Who woulda thunk it?
P.S.
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